Milford Croft goes gold!

Milford Croft Self Catering bungalow, just off the seafront in Hurst Road, Milford on Sea, has recently undergone its annual assessment by VisitBritain and has now been awarded their five star status for the accommodation being ‘exceptional with a degree of luxury’. To add to this Colin & Tricia have also received the Quality Assessment Scheme Gold Award. This award only became available for self catering establishments during 2009 and is used sparingly. There’s only one other self catering cottage in Milford on Sea that has been assessed to this level and just a handful in the New Forest area. The owners, Tricia and Colin are understandably delighted. http://www.milfordcroft.co.uk/

A lunchtime surprise at Zaika

Anyone who reads the nonsense I report on these pages will be well aware that I am partial to a great curry. Fortunately, I know a lot of you are as well.

As part of my research for the Milford on Sea Food Week I decided that it would be good to get a picture, and a bit of background on all of the chefs, or owners of the eateries in the village. To find out about the chef at Zaika I called Kalam & arranged an appointment to call.

On arriving I had no idea that I was about to enter my own personal heaven. I soon met Souel Bodrul, who I was to discover was trained at the Dhaka Sheraton Hotel in his home country of Bangladesh, and that in the UK, Souel has been a specialist tandoori chef at the Bombay Brassiere, & Chutney Mary in London. He now loves creating unique dishes at our own local Zaika restaurant. After taking some photos to accompany the pen pictures on the website, Kalam asked if I would like to see the dishes from the new menu he will be launching in a couple of weeks. Would I?!!

In no time the kitchen was in full flow & one incredible dish followed another, & each was art on a plate. You of course know what I was now thinking. Four exquisite dishes on the table that had only been touched by the flash from my camera, - they looked lovely, but very lonely! Right on cue, Kalam asked if I would like to taste them. Now, my desired answer was of course a foregone conclusion, but like most things in my life, situations are not simple.

To explain, just before coming to Zaika my wife had said ‘don’t be too long, I am doing tomato soup with homemade bread for lunch’. You can see my dilemma, I was now faced with the wrath of my wife, or a fantastic meal.

I decided that I have survived most misdemeanours in the past, all that I needed was a good story for getting home late. Again looking at the table ladened with glorious food, I decided my excuse would wait.

So, not wanting to eat alone I said to Kalam, ‘only if you join me’. I know, a risky strategy, but luckily it worked. Kalam & I then sat down & tucked our way through a new starter of Kurkure Stuffed Mushrooms, a breadcrumb coated ball containing mushroom, potato, sweetcorn & cottage cheese, served on a bed of vegetable curry. Then we tucked into the first new main course, which was a Cinnamon Tossed Grilled Chicken Breast, made with free range corn fed chicken stuffed with spinach & flavoured with spices & garlic, served on a sweet & sour sweet corn sauce, still going, we then had Chicken Chameli, tandoori free range corn fed chicken breasts stuffed with spiced peas & carrots, served on a black lentil & homemade mango sauce. Finally we reached the Dipped Chocolate Strawberries & mango pulp! As we ate, Souel & his team watched us intently, & we could see their satisfied smiles as we savoured each different taste.

Hard to believe that things could get even better, but Kalam then told me the dishes will be on his menu in a couple of weeks, & that they were starting an ‘All You Can Eat Sunday Buffet’ at the same time. I just love living in Milford on Sea!

On leaving, and having said my thanks, I remembered I had to explain why I had been out for two hours. So walking back I bought some mints, & then rolled in the muddy grass by the Danes Stream.

As I arrived home there was no welcoming kiss for me, just a slightly uncomfortable feeling, as my wife look up & down at my muddy clothes. Things were not going so well now. I endeavoured to explain how I had been mugged in Sea Road by a gang of four old ladies on motorised scooters, but she was having none of it. Worse still, she recalled the time I had been mugged by a gang of particularly large girl guides, & a few months later by a troup of vertically challenged guys from the local circus. It then occurred to me that it was probably time that I now thought of a more creative line of excuses.

Looks like I will be getting my own tea tonight, but I’m a bit nervous to ask if there is any tomato soup left.

Duncan is back!

A familiar face has returned to the Milford on Sea estate agent scene. Duncan Broomfield is now managing Sullivan Mitchell having returned to work in the village. Previously Duncan has worked at Murray Hayward for 7 years & before this he spent 7 years in the RAF Police serving on overseas detachments and UK based. Duncan is married to Charlie who runs Purple Paperclips IT services and they have two children Holly 15 and Archie 5. When not working around the village, you will find Duncan indulging in his favourite pastime of enjoying his 1969 mk2 Mini Cooper. Following Duncan’s arrival the Sullivan Mitchell office will be open 7 days a week from 1st March 2010. http://www.sullivanmitchell.net/

Join in Food Week with ‘Come Dine with Me!

Come Dine with Me! is an opportunity to have a bit of culinary fun with friends, family or neighbours, or even to get to know someone new, - & at the same time enjoy your own home entertaining skills!

Milford on Sea has an exciting & fun addition to the Food Week events calendar, and you can easily join in. Come dine with Me is a fun competition amongst the keen amateur cooks & hosts in the village. This one really is ‘not about the winning’, taking part is the bit that counts. Come Dine with Me! is an opportunity to have a bit of culinary fun with friends, neighbours, or to get to know someone new, - & at the same time enjoy your own home entertaining skills! Entering is simple, we need one 'Head Chef' to find 3 other people to be in their 'Come Dine with Me! Group. Each member of the group takes a turn to entertain the other 3 at home with a three course meal which is made from produce purchased in the village shops. The group can be made up of 'individuals', or 'couples'. All couples must cook individually on 'their own hosting night'. At the end of all dining evenings each invited guest scores each evening out of ten & gives their scores to the 'Head Chef'. The winner will be the host with the highest final score, & the winners of each group will get to be featured on this website! The scoring is just a bit of fun, the real idea is to have some great nights dining with friends!

How to Enter Come Dine with Me!

1. The 'Head Chef' to e-mail names & e-mail addresses of themselves & the 3 other people to be in their 'Come Dine with Me! Group' to david@milfordonseafoodweek.org

2. The 'Head Chef' then arranges the dates for each of the dining evenings, which must be completed between 1st March & 11th April.

3. Each cook in the 'Come dine with Me! Group', must send a copy of their nights menu to the rest of the group no later than one week before your entertaining date.

4. For all meals the produce should be purchased from the Milford on Sea village shops.

5. At the end of the dining evenings the 'Head Chef' sends the groups results to David for the winners to be featured on this website.

david@milfordonseafoodweek.org

6. Closing date for entries: End of February

7. Any groups that do not enjoy themselves will be disqualified! Come Dine with Me! is fun - Come on, join in now!

Why not join in now? |  www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/come-dine-with-me

Live Bomb Detonated on Hurst Spit

At around 3.30 pm Sunday afternoon the flashing blue lights from a Bomb Disposal Unit truck was spotted driving though Milford on Sea village. Your intrepid reporter was enjoying a afternoon relaxation after a particularly spectacular Sunday lunch with friends at Westover Hall. (Surely the pastry chef, is one of the finest masters of his craft in the country. His sweets are so amazing that we ordered five between the four of us.) I digress, so back to the bomb disposal.

I now had a duty to find out what’s going on, but couldn’t really be bothered. I then decided to wake my sleeping wife to tell her of the excitement. Not sure why, but she wasn’t greatly impressed. Her speech is quite incoherent when unexpectedly woken, but I guessed she was trying to tell me how much she adored being with me. I quickly asked ‘Do you fancy a walk to Hurst Spit?’, ‘Yes, why not’ she said as clearly as she could under the circumstances.

For some inexplicable reason, her eye’s became glazed with that ‘mass murder look’ when I replied: ‘Great, can you find out what’s going on & tell me when you get back’. I was a bit worried for my life for a few seconds, but mustered the courage to explain that I had just got comfortable & was watching the rugby.

Without her saying anything I got the impression that my wife was not the least concerned about my afternoon pleasure.

Anyway, my wife soon trotted off with our two sniffer dogs, both of whom would be willing to help out if the bomb disposal guys needed a hand. Around 4pm I heard an loud explosion. Dutifully, my wife later reported back that the Bomb Disposal guys had detonated a device on the beach just along the Spit after the bridge. My wife had failed to investigate what type of bomb it was, but I thought it best not to mention her error to her, as I hear ‘strange accidents’ can happen to husbands when a wife is annoyed!

www.milfordonsea.org/news

TV fame for our local boat boy!

At the end of October you may recall a story in these pages entitled ‘War Boats Ahoy’, which was about how Milford on Sea’s own Phil Clabburn had restored two historical war boats, which were subsequently purchased by Portsmouth Historic Dockyard. Well, Phil is on BBC Breakfast on Tuesday morning. The news clip will be repeated throughout the day. The BBC came down to Portsmouth and interviewed him on how he had restored the boats & then filmed him driving them on the water. For anyone who gets National Geographic on Sky, there will be an hour long programme on Phil and the boats he restored called 'Great British Machines' at 9pm on 15th February. Phil has one last remaining boat RAF 206, which was originally Lawrence of Arabia's boat and the first boat Phil ever restored, this has now been purchased by Hendon RAF museum in London. It will make its last voyage by sea around the south coast and up through the Thames in stages, taking in Newhaven, Dover and St. Catherine’s Dock before being placed under the wing of a flying boat in the Museum. A true and fitting end has been achieved for all Phil’s hard work over the years.

On a more sombre note, Phil’s faithful black Labrador ‘Guinness’, who stayed by his side whilst he worked on the boats all those years, died aged 12 on Wednesday. He'll be sadly missed by Phil, and anyone who met him on his regular trips to the Red Lion in the village. When you see his picture you can imagine it was a fun 12 years. Rest in peace old friend.

Mole Men claim more territory

No sooner do I reveal the truth about the mole men living in their hole in Lymington Road, that they test my patience by now appearing with a new hole in Cliff Road! Their efforts to conceal their real activity by installing temporary traffic lights and a spurious Southern Gas Networks sign, doesn’t fool me for one minute. I suppose that these could be independent burrowing structures by different tribes of mole men, but my theory is that our resident family has tunnelled from one side of the village to the other. Considering the length that the tunnel must be, it is not inconceivable that they are building an underground town, bringing their in reinforcements in by the dark of night. Not that I am really that bothered, as even mole men need to live somewhere. Indeed I am sure if we were asked nicely I guess most of us would not object strongly. (Wouldn’t fancy their chances of getting permission from the Parish Council though). The likelihood is that they are under your house right now. Anyway, I hope I have not alarmed you with my revelation, as I am sure that they are quite friendly, although that may give a nasty nip if approached unexpectedly. (A bit like my wife really).

Footnote: Driving home tonight I spotted a sign saying that Sea Road is going to be closed for a few days from the 10th to 13th February. It seems the mole men are wasting no time in colonising the entire Milford on Sea sub terrain. I wonder if we asked them nicely whether they would put in an underground railway? Do you know anyone in the Milford on Sea Wildlife Group who speaks ‘mole’? Looks like we may need someone to negotiate on behalf of us surface dwellers.

On a related but separate note, I have to say that some readers of these news pages don’t always seem to take my stories seriously. After my story last week on the road mole works in Lymington Road, I then speculated that the holes are dug by mole men, who then disappear down the hole to live. My challenge to send in some photo’s showing any men actually working on the site was met with a response, but not quite as expected. Not being an expert on manual labour, I cannot be 100% sure, but I have to say, I do not think the photo’s sent in are genuine. On reflection, I am not sure it is a good idea to ask readers to send in pictures. If you would like to see the nonsense photos sent in, here you go...

click image to enlarge

The Germans are coming!

When we started out on creating Milford on Sea Food Week we never quite expected that it would draw in visitors from Germany! To explain, Rex Harrod is a former resident of Milford on Sea, and was at Milford school from 1959 to 1965, he now lives in Calle, near Meschede in Germany. (No idea why!) Well, Rex has been a reader of our News Bulletins for some time now, & on hearing about Milford on Sea Food Week he decided that this was just the excuse he needed to return to his old village. It has been several years since Rex was last here, so he will love our new custard road surface in the High Street. Unfortunately the Salad Bowl hasn’t been changed one bit. Taking full advantage of his trip to fill his stomach, he is also hoping to meet up with some ‘old faces’ he once knew. Rex has made the ‘schoolboy error’ of sending me some old photographs: one as he is now, one as a smoking milkman with a mullet from the seventies, and one of Milford football team from 1964. However, he then revealed that he wasn’t actually in the football team in 1964! I felt it would be unfair to embarrass him by publishing these pictures. But I then changed my mind, & you can see the pictures on the link at the bottom of this page. Not content with embarrassing himself, Rex has also given me a picture from 1964 which includes Chris Barrass, Ian Sims, Binksy Setchel, Geoff Woodford, John Cox, Bob Briad, Beefy Strong, Donald Reed, Spud Taylor, Digger Hodgson & Stuart Davies. Rex also recalls, Chris Hobby, Mervyn Cousins and David Gates, so watch out lads he knows where you live!

Strangely, Rex is now known as Rick. (I wonder if he changed it because Rex is a rude word in German?) Rex’s Rick’s family used to live in Orchard Cottage, right next to All Saint’s Church. If you knew Rex & would like to get in touch now let me know. Rex will be in the Smugglers Inn at 1pm on 11th April - Food Market Sunday, (he thinks he is going to The Crown & has no idea the name changed years ago), so put it in your diary to pop in & say hello. (I was going to ask him if he would wear a daft German moustache & lederhosen, so we all know who he is – However, from his photo I see he already has the daft moustache, so only the lederhosen to find.) Alternatively, if you did know him, but would never like to meet him again, might be best to hide during Food Week. Although I have never met Rex, (or Rick), I am going to go to the Smugglers & pretend we were at school together. Then I will claim that my heart is still broken after he stole my girlfriend & that my life has been ruined since that day. Can’t wait to see how he reacts when I break down sobbing in a packed bar, - and then ask him if he will take me back to live with him in Germany! Rex has promised to bring my wife a German beer when he comes over, and I wonder if Rick will bring a bottle as well? - Roll on Food Week!

Note: For anyone who cares: Calle and is near Meschede in the 'county' of Hochsauerlandkreis which is East of Dortmund, West of Kassel and North of Frankfurt. No wonder no one bothers to visit him with an address like that!

PS: Rick, Rex, or whatever he calls himself today, has said John Cox who now runs his own Radiology business in Australia may also be making his way back to Milford on Sea for Food Week. I am reliably informed that John was actually in the football team in 1964, unlike my new mate Rolf, as I now call him.

If you would like to see Rex’s old photos please visit: www.milfordonsea.org/news-rex

Newcomers get a warm welcome

On Saturday night anyone new to the village in the past year was invited to a free supper at the All Saints Church Hall. Prior to eating, the guests were able to attend a ‘mini exhibition’ of the clubs, associations & services in the village. Over 40 representatives met & greeted the newcomers, explaining the offerings they had for them. Not being new to the village I had wangled an invitation on the basis of being an organiser of Food Week. It wasn’t long before I was back into the patter I had once used at Petticoat Lane & the Ideal Home Exhibition many years ago. No one was going to get past without hearing about the special event the village will be enjoying in April. It was fun jumping out & scaring people, before explaining about this website, & our new village event just after Easter. It was enjoyable to hear how everyone I met was so delighted to be now living in the village & they were astounded at all that was available to participate in. Most places I know are wary of newcomers, but our special little place goes out of its way to welcome them with a warm heart. The ‘mini exhibition’ was followed with a sit down meal for the newcomers. Now at this stage I should have gone home, but I decided to put on an apron to pretend I was working with the girls in the kitchen. This enabled me to see what happened next. All of the guests were the welcomed by various notaries from the village, each giving a little speech. My favourite was Rev Barbara Jefferies, she had a warm smile & excellent sense of humour. As the meals were about to leave the kitchen, I disrobed from my apron (just in case I had to do any work) & left for home to check if my wife had noticed if I had gone out. This evening will leave a special memory for many who attended.  Thanks must go to the girls & guys in & around the kitchen who did a sterling job looking after everyone.  The event was predominately organised by one lady, - Ruth Bufton stand up & take a bow, you deserve it!

David Gates to Celebrate 25 years at The Butchers Shop

I am sure it only feels like yesterday to him, but David Gates is approaching twenty five years running a butchers shop in Milford on Sea. David opened ‘The Butchers Shop’ in Church Hill on the 5th April 1985 and has been trading from there ever since. Coincidentally, his anniversary falls within Milford on Sea Food Week. To share his celebration with his customers, and as a way to say thank you for all the years of trade, David will have a Food Week Offer of: ‘One pound of Sausages at 1985 price with every purchase of £15 or more.’ Over the years David has won many awards for his sausages, so his offer sounds good to me! Happy anniversary David.

Milford to Celebrate the Guiding Centenary

Anne Briad has been in touch, to let us know that 2010 is the Centenary year of the Girl Guide movement. In Milford on Sea the event is being marked with a reunion party for all present and former members of Milford's Guide, Brownie and Rainbow units. Anne would like to contact as many former members as she can, as soon as possible. To mark the Centenary year of Guiding there will be a reunion party on Saturday evening 16th October 2010 for anyone who has been associated with Guiding in Milford since the first company was formed in 1918, that is to say current and former Leaders, Young Leaders, Guides, Brownies, Rainbows, Trefoil Guild members and helpers. The organisers are also hoping to mount a display of photographs of Milford Guides and Guiding activities across the years, so as well as meeting up again with old friends there will be plenty to reminisce over during the evening. Anyone who would like to join in the occasion, or who has pictures of Milford Guides or Milford Guiding occasions which they would be prepared to lend should contact Janet Reed (nee Knight) on 01425 615522 (answer phone) or e-mail janlesreed@btinternet.com

Milford on Sea Food Week Keeps Growing!

Milford on Sea Food Week is a community event celebrating all that is great about food. The village will be alive with a wide variety of activities for everyone in the family. The website contains a full programme of daily events with a main family attraction being the Sunday Food Market. The Milford on Sea Food Market is an exciting event which spans the length of the High Street, & also covers the village green. The event runs from 10am to 3pm on Sunday 11th April 2010, and is the finale to the 70 events & activities that will be taking place on a daily basis throughout Milford on Sea Food Week. The Food Market has around thirty five different stalls, & is a great celebration of all that is great about local food. The stalls feature a tremendous variety of local produce, including chutneys & cooking sauces made in the village, jams, English cheeses, New Forest goats cheese, venison, smoked fish, pies, pasties, savoury treats, olives, and English wine. For the sweet toothed there are handmade chocolates from New Milton, double baked biscuits from Lymington, bags of sweets, candy floss, handmade fudge, exotic desserts & delicious cakes from Yum of Milford on Sea. No one visiting will go hungry, as the market offers hot snacks like chicken tikka, paella, hog roast, and sweet or savoury hot crepes. The market even has a Children’s Pottery Experience, food related ceramic pottery, & contemporary local paintings.

For the ‘green visitors’, The New Forest Transition Group have a seedling exchange, and the New Forest Park Authority will have a stand discussing Food Miles & the New Forest Marque. There will also be presentations for the local schools ‘Kids Egg Painting Competition’, the village ‘Best Breakfast Competition’ & the prize winner’s draw for the ‘Scrummy Food Raffle’. To keep everyone entertained there is also a Recipe Book Swap for everyone to join in with, and The New Forest Plonkers will be providing live music in their unique ‘agricultural’ style.

We will also have lots of our village shops opening especially for the day, providing fresh fruit & vegetables, fresh flowers, delicatessen counter, a Food in Art Exhibition, gifts for the home, local art and beauty treatments, you can even go back to your childhood in the Milford Models Shop! Plus of course, the village’s tea shops & pubs offer full English breakfasts, Sunday roast dinners, snacks, Danish pastries, cakes, afternoon teas and continental coffee’s. With so much happening this really is a day not to miss!

Milford on Sea Food Week itself runs from the Bank Holiday Monday 5th April until Sunday 11th April 2010 and has daily dining offers & themed events in all restaurants & cafes, cookery experiences & demonstrations, educational events & talks, children’s fun cooking competitions, & the chance to buy local produce at our very own Food Market on the closing Sunday. Over 70 individual events are already planned throughout the week which runs every day from Easter Bank Holiday Monday through to the following Sunday every year. Don’t miss a thing, mark it out in your diary now!

Please visit the Milford on Sea Food Week website to find out more: www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/food-market

Lymington Road Slalom

It appears the invisible mole men from 'Southern Gas Networks' have appeared in the village. Their hobby is to dig holes that cut roads in half, & then to disappear. Having passed through several times, I have yet to see any mole men working. Some may assume that they have left the site, I however have another theory, - they live down the hole. I suspect they only come out at night only to replace the batteries in the temporary traffic lights, or to pop down to The Smugglers. The regular traffic queues remind me of my birthplace in London, but without the muggers. If anyone see’s the mole men working in Lymington Road, please send in a pictures, as I won’t believe you otherwise!

Some great images of Milford on Sea

Surfing the web recently I came across a nice collection of creative photographs of Milford on Sea. The photographer is Steve Elson, & having introduced ourselves he has kindly given us permission to add some of his shots to our website. Whilst we have Milford on Sea Food Week to sort out first, I thought you might like to take a look at some of his work now. To view Steve’s Milford on Sea picture gallery please click this link: www.picturesofengland.com/user/fotoboy/pictures/1//England/Hampshire/Milford_on_Sea

Braxton Gardens reopening with Off License & Farmers Market

When Braxton Gardens reopens on Monday 1st February, they will be licensed, and offering a fully stocked Wine & Beer Shop. The shop will feature a comprehensive selection of over 50 fine wines, champagne and beer, all with local free home or office delivery. Braxton not only has its famous David Austin Rose Gardens, but also offers a café serving fresh coffee, premium teas, cakes and light lunches. They will be open from 9am for seven days a week.

The New Forest Producers Market will also have a new home at Braxton Gardens in Milford on Sea from Saturday 6th March (9am to 3pm). The Braxton Gardens Farmers Market will run on the First Saturday of Every Month, with additional markets on selected Tuesdays (3pm to 7pm) during the summer season. The farmers market will sell fresh and seasonal New Forest Marque local produce, direct from the farmers and small holders of the New Forest. The stalls will include honey, bread, cakes, eggs, wool, beef, local game, pork and bacon, cheese, vegetables, specialist plants and much more. They are a great opportunity to meet producers and find out about your local food. You can view the entire programme of Farmers Markets on the following link. Braxton Gardens Farmers Marker Calendar: www.milfordonsea.org/farmers-market-calendar

Wicked Smokers Punished

Whist my businesses offices are not in Milford on Sea, there is a tenuous link to this story because I do live in the village. More importantly, I thought you might be amused by my recent correspondence to our landlords about our office, which is in a building called The Hub.

LETTER:

Not sure who is responsible for the new ‘smoking shelter’, so I would grateful if you could pass this on to them please.

To whom it may concern.

I have just attempted to take a smoke outside Stalag Hub. It is now an interesting experience sitting in wet clothes attempting to carry on with my work. Whilst I appreciate you do not have control of the weather, (you don’t do you?), you could make my working life a little less hassle. How about a shelter within a reasonable distance of an entrance from our office block? I have to let you know that your new smoking shelter is not my best friend. Life is now a bit tricky when a wicked working smoker needs a fix & it must be disappointing for you to hear that your covert attempt to get me fit is not appreciated. There was a day when I would appreciate a quick sprint to get somewhere, but today I prefer a gentle stroll. It is a shame that the smoking shelter is a lifetime away & completely inaccessible without braving the elements. I do recognise the undoubted amusement that the smoking expeditions bring to all watching from the windows, as smokers of various shapes & sizes attempt to dodge the rain at speed, perhaps the humour levels could be raised by adding some grease to the steps or pavements?, then everyone can watch the addicted fall over – always a funny one. In sunnier times I tested a theory & it proved to be true that I could light a cigarette on leaving the door & finish it by the time I reached the shelter. Having arrived it seemed a shame not to stay a while, so I had another one. After a chat, it is time for the return journey, & a last cigarette. So ‘three’ when I normally would have had ‘one’. Did you know that you are actually increasing the carbon footprint of The Hub now. (I guess this was not you intention?) Rumour has it that our own smoking area was removed because someone (who has now left) complained that they could smell faint traces of smoke in their office? Quite a feat, as all of the buildings windows are sealed, they must therefore be applauded for their ultra sensitive nostrils – wherever they are now.

I have even been advised by ‘an official’, that smoking outside our back door, (where the original ‘official’ smoking bin was up until a few weeks ago!) is now a ‘Health & Safety’ risk, as I pointed out to him, I believe this to be complete nonsense. We all know that ‘Health & Safety’ rules can at times be ridiculous, but I am sure that even these regulations cannot meet these depths of ludicrousness. Unsurprisingly, my research was unable to identify which section of the ‘Health & Safety Act’ that was now being contravened. Anyway, regulatory nonsense aside, what is the ‘depth’ of the newly invented ‘building smoking exclusion zone’?, as I can spot no signs. To help us unfortunates, perhaps we could have a red line, two foot ditch, or even an electric fence around the building, which would indicate to us evil smokers where we are being a dangerous threat to mankind & where we are reluctantly acceptable. As smoke control is the aim, wind direction & speed can obviously make life complicated for the rule makers with this one, so will the ‘building smoking exclusion zones depth’ expand and contract based on the wind direction or speed? If so, a wind sock or electronic indicator on the side of the building would be appreciated. Another idea may be to have heat or smoke sensitive sensors on all building walls with search lights & alarms to let us all know when someone deviates into the no go area. It might also be fun if the security guys have paint guns to splat the offenders. I quite like this idea. As I expect to be paint covered most of the time, can I choose the paint colours please?

Perhaps we could protect people further by sinking the new shelter into a bunker thirty feet underground, then no one working or visiting here will be offended by the sight of these unfortunate nicotine stained people. No smokers in our office were asked their opinions before the changes were made, therefore I hope my following suggestions are also implemented without consultation. In the pursuit of fairness I believe we should now eradicate all evil from The Hub. We could start will removing all bad substances, starting with coffee & tea due to the addictive nature of caffeine. Also calories are a problem in managing weight, so The Aviators Café should be replaced totally with a Tofu & Prune Bar.

PS: At times I can smell fruit fumes in my office, can all fruit be banned from all offices as well please.

PPS: You may consider reading this a waste of your time, but I am only getting my own back for the time you waste of my team as they continually venture daily to the ‘smoking den of iniquity’ & back. Must go now, there is a break in the rain & I need a fag.

DL

Chairman

Read more stuff: http://www.milfordonsea.org/

Verveine Restaurant Open for Valentine’s Day

Milford on Sea is to welcome its latest quality restaurant when they open on 12th February, in fact they are taking booking now if you want to be one of the first to dine there. Based On the site of Monks Fishmongers, Verveine Fishmarket Restaurant is a new contemporary dining venue in the heart of Milford on Sea village. Having seen the menu, which features fresh local produce cooked in imaginative ways, the impression is one of exciting, quality food served at affordable prices. The menu consists of personal touches like freshly smoked bacon from their own in-house smokery, homemade daily baked fresh bread, plus homemade pasta, ice cream and sorbets. The idea is to use ingredients from our local doorstep, whether its wild bass from The Solent, crab and lobster from Lymington, local cheeses from Sway or pheasants from a local shoot in the New Forest. The menu is Modern British cuisine, featuring fish and seafood, complimented with contemporary meat & pasta dishes. Verveine is a concept born from the ideas of Stacey Crouch and David Wykes, and they are making every effort to make dining at Verveine a special experience, whether you are visiting for a light lunch of home smoked scallops Maryland or the tasting menu “From our shores”. The decor in the new restaurant looks great & is designed to create a friendly & relaxed informal atmosphere.

Thankfully Milford on Sea village hasn’t lost its traditional fishmongers. The new Verveine Fishmarket sits in front of the restaurant, and still supplies the local villagers & of course now, the restaurant menu. We also hear that there are future plans for a ‘Fish Cookery School’, (this is to train people - not fish, to cook seafood meals), now that sounds a great idea! If you fancy making a dining booking now, you can call Verveine on 01590 642176. You can also visit their new restaurant on the following link: http://www.verveine.co.uk/

New Belle Epoque Wine Bar & Cafe has opening date

The transformation of Attic Attack (& before that Clarkes Shoe shop), in Milford on Sea High Street is reaching completion & we understand the new wine bar cafe with be opening on Wednesday 3rd February. 

As well as taking on a new function the building will also carry the new name ‘Belle Opoque’, which we have translated to mean something like ‘Beautiful time’. The ‘cafe food’ element of the plan with arrive around Easter, when the kitchens are expected to be completed. He menu includes a glass of champagne & smoked salmon for £5, and prosseco & smoked salmon, cheese or cured ham for £4. 

There are also plans to develop the food offering to included a tapas bar. Having heard of a sneak preview of the interior we understand that it is Mike’s version of ‘shabby chic’, with an eclectic mix of aged furniture & walls adorned with ‘nic-knacks’. A significant range of books & paperbacks will be also be available to buy with the proceeds going to the British Legion. 

The bar’s lounge will have papers & magazines to read, & people will be able to enjoy a relaxing glass of wine, or coffee & other hot drinks on visits. The new opening hours will be 8am to 8pm Wednesday to Sunday.

There will also be an off license inside called ‘Vine Associates’, which will be run by John James. The off license will also open Wednesday to Sunday with 12 noon to 8pm opening hours.

Ravens Way Planning Application Objections

The Parish Council Planning Committee met recently and heard briefly from the NHS, the developers, Penny Farthing, plus a more detailed presentation from the architect regarding the proposed development for the Ravens Way site just west of The White House on Milford on Sea seafront. The committee were unhappy, & in their view the proposal was an over-development of the site. In particular parts of the development were too tall relative to the White House and the properties in The Boltons. It was noted that the plans and drawings presented were not to scale and there was a degree of vagueness as to the height (specially of the four storey tower) against the rooflines of surrounding buildings. There was also concern that the plan lacked any element of 'affordable housing', although an indication was given that it was 'hoped' to provide some of this on a different site in Milford on Sea. There were suggestions that the sewage system would be placed under additional strain despite assurances from the developers. NFDC have to finally decide the application and will get the Parish Councils view that in its present form it should be refused. Watch this space to see what happens!

Pointless Cycle Paths for Milford on Sea

We have discovered through Colin, our intrepid local newshound, that plans are currently being considered by New Forest District Council for Cycle Routes through Milford on Sea, I guess these are designed as a covert plan to get us all fit. (Although their chances of achieving this with Colin & I are pretty remote.)

The proposed cycle routes appear to crisscross happily right across the village. I have only had the pleasure of seeing the proposed map online without any written explanation text. That however is not an issue on two fronts.

Firstly, if there is such a document, it is unlikely that I would be bothered to try to decipher the ‘council speak’ in what is likely to be a be a weighty tomb of nonsense.

Secondly, it is much more fun to make wild assumptions. On viewing the map it soon became clear to me that the ‘Cycle Routes’ were actually currently being used for another purpose, - existing roads. Hmmm, so does this mean the roads are to become cycle routes, & in turn new roads will be built later for the cars that no longer have anywhere else to drive on? Perhaps not. Not being a cyclist myself I am unclear of their strange customs, but I always thought they could ride on these roads already? Possibly I am missing something.

I know, the Cycle Route will have ‘cycle lanes’ added to indicate to cyclists that they can cycle on roads that they could always cycle on before. Brilliant idea! Thinking through the practicalities, I could not work out how the cycle lanes would be accommodated, then it came to me, it is simply a case of deciding which side of the roads will have all of their houses demolished to add in the cycle lanes. I suppose by removing houses it will also provide an opportunity to drop in a dual carriageway, bus lane & perhaps if there is enough room a lane exclusively for rickshaws. The map also shows a ‘possible short contra-cycle lane’ for the High Street. ‘Contra cycle lane’ – what does that mean? No, I have no idea either. Researching the dictionary I ended up with three definitions for ‘contra’. Firstly, ‘A member of the guerrilla force that opposed a left-wing government in Nicaragua’. Perhaps the lane will just be for them, but quite honestly it has been a while since I saw a guerrilla in the village. The next definition was; ‘A deal that allows for the exchange of services, goods or publicity without money changing hands’. Ah, perhaps you have to offer something to the council on entry, if they like the swap deal you can go through, if not you just have to use a normal road I’m afraid. The final definition is; ‘In contrast or opposition to; or against’, that’s the one I reckon. The cycle lane will go in the opposite direction to the current one way traffic. To some this may seem daft, but thinking about it, the shopkeepers will love watching our friends on two wheels dodging oncoming cars in panic, plus of course it will draw extra people to the village to watch the ‘cycle run of death!’.

My wife was taking a lot of interest in my one way discussions on this subject, whilst at the same time pretending to be reading a book. Suddenly, she suggested that I should buy a bike. She went on to say how I could then cycle twenty five miles a day for ten days. Not understanding her reasoning I asked whether this was a plan to help lose the five stone I had put on over Christmas? No, she said, it simply means you will then end up two hundred & fifty miles away from here. I don’t think she is taking the situation seriously.

It may be pretty obvious that I live in my own little world (without a bike or any cycle lanes), but someone was telling me the other day about something called the ‘credit crunch’. As a result it appears the government need to save quite a lot of money. Well, I have one idea, how about shutting the ‘NFDC Pointless Cycle Route Department’. Alternatively, the council team could be redeployed to something of a bit more value, like building a Milford on Sea underground railway, or they could even resurface the High Street again if they are really stuck for ideas. Apparently these are ‘Preliminary plans for consultation only’, and I bet they will have great fun chatting to any people they can find who understands their plan. If you can be bothered you can view the ‘Proposed Cycle Route Map’ on the following link:
http://www.newforest.gov.uk/media/adobe/g/2/Milford_on_Sea_Cycle_Map.pdf