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Tuesday, 1 May 2012

Mole Men Send Report

Some of you with nothing better to do may have been following the stories about the spurious roadwork’s around Milford on Sea village, covering up the true work of the Mole Men building a subterranean town. 

We have been contact by Paul Rose, claiming to be the Operations Manager at Southern Gas Networks. (Yes, really.)  Paul wishes to explain that they were called to Cliff Road for a public reported gas escape some time ago.  After several attempts to repair the main they found there to be further problems along the line.  To deal with the problem once and for all, Paul said they needed to replace a section of the pipe that was most effected,  as done a couple of years ago on the last section to the east.  Now, subject to weather, all reinstatement is expected to be complete and off the road before the bank holiday with only some top soil to be spread.

Paul has sent Southern Gas Networks sincere apologies for the delays and disruption caused during the essential works.  He has also offered the village the offer of some resource from Southern Gas Networks Community Action Programme.  This is where every resource working for Southern Gas Networks can have one paid day to work on a community project.

I have no reason to believe Paul is not genuine, although it would be funny if he had a furry face and whiskers.  It was also interesting that he did not mention, or deny, the creation of the underground Mole Men community.  Better to say nothing in the hope we believe their cover story I reckon. 

His community project offer got me thinking, what could be do with some Southern Gas Networks people for a day?

Perhaps we could have a seawater swimming pool dug on the beach, or perhaps the boys with the hard hats & spades could do a 'Full Monty Show' for the over 80's on the Village Green.  In fact, how about getting them to build a canopy outside of Mr Pink's to stop us all getting wet when queueing for Friday night fish and chips in a storm!

I suppose with their exceptional experience of ‘digging & clearing,’ they would be well suited to giving out local Milford Conservation Volunteers (MCV) a hand.  So we will see what we can do.

When they do come, I think we should study them all very closely, looking for mud under the claws and strange nose twitching movements.  My guess is they will all wear glasses to disguise their poor eyesight. 

On leaving, I suggest we follow them home, as I still suspect they are living right under our feet.

1 comment:

  1. Remember if you follow them home keep a safe distance. Also do not attempt to stroke their fur or cuddle them. If you get bitten by one go straight to the local vet!
    You are most likely to come across them after 10pm as they are nocturnal, which may be why you've missed them