Fury as unwanted Hurst Spit Observation Wheel approved

After a drawn out four year consultation process, and despite vigorous local objections, the Hurst Spit Observation Wheel is due to start construction in early May.

The generally compliant residents of Milford on Sea are angry that this has been pushed through with their significant concerns being disregarded. Protests are planned, more of which we will explain later.

Planning approval for the locally unwanted observation wheel was given at a recent New Forest District Council meeting. This was in spite of numerous of local objections, which were primarily based on environmental issues, and the fact that the observation wheel will fundamentally change the character of Milford on Sea. However, the council considered that; 'The tourism and visitor experience opportunities were of greater benefit.'

As the developers public relation machine kicked into gear, it is being claimed that; "The Milford on Sea Observation Wheel will offer stunning, panoramic views of The Needles, Christchurch Bay, Milford on Sea beach and over the historic fortified walls into Hurst Castle."

At a height of 40m, it will be taller than the Bournemouth Big Wheel which stands at 30m high. For some obscure reason, the height was intentionally chosen to be taller than The Needles Lighthouse which stands at 33m.

The wheel designer, Ivor Spinner commented; "We are delighted to bring this magnificent observation wheel to Milford on Sea. It will stand as a monolith in the region and become a landmark to rival Nelson's column, the Angel of the North and the silly little observation wheel in Bournemouth." 

The gondolas will carry a maximum of 6 people, and children under 10 must be accompanied.

Although wheelchairs and mobility scooters cannot access the gondolas, there is an ingenious design feature which enables them to be strapped to the outside for what is described as; 'An exhilarating fresh air ride.'

The wheel's management company, Buildabigun Ltd, have said that local residents will be able to purchase discounted annual passes, and community organisations, groups and clubs will have free access at set times.

Getya Kitoff of Milford Naturists Club said; "Against local opinion, I am excited that we will be able to ride the wheel naked. I am just hoping it does not swing too much, as we do not want any unfortunate jiggling or collisions." Another club member, Hugh Jass added; "As much as I like stripping off, I won't be hanging out on that thing."

When approached, local tourism chief, Lika Goodayout commented; "A project like this always has its ups and downs, I am sure the protestors will come round in time."

All of these public relation spins are falling on deaf ears with the Milford on Sea Protest Group, who has aptly renamed the observation wheel; The Hurst Horribilis.

Amanda Lynn, from the Milford Musical Group said; "We have been invited to provide a band for the opening ceremony, but we have declined, as our prima recorder player has chapped lips, and our percussionist cannot use his drum pedal due to just having had a new hip fitted." 

Health and safety officer, Kay Oss has said that, when it is raining in Sweden, customers have to, by law, wear reflective jackets when riding an observation wheel. It is not yet clear how the local observation wheel customers will know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Local residents are now planning a sit-in protest and barricades on Hurst Spit on the day before the building contractors team are due to arrive. Special tracks are being laid to enable mobility scooters to get onto Hurst Spit, and old boats and walking sticks are being broken up to create a spectacular bonfire. 

Hugh Jass has said that he will protest by staying clothed until the building of the wheel is cancelled, or the weather gets too hot.

To draw further attention to the village's plight, their are plans to have 24 hour sessions of interpretive dance on Milford on Sea Village Green, everyone is welcome to join in. 

It is hoped that local xylophone player, Joe King will accompany the dance by playing continuous renditions from the three painfully tedious musical pieces he knows.

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Editors Note:

If you have friends or family who love being taken for a ride, please feel free to share this news. On the other hand, if you consider this a travesty, please share this news with your friends in Milford on Sea and encourage them to protest, we must stand united!

If you have any comments you wish to make, please contact: 

ubin.hadd@gmailer.com