Only a few days to go!

It all starts next Monday down on the beach front, so I hope everyone is ready for a week of non stop eating! In the final preparations I can report that I have been doing my duty over the last week or so, by judging the Best Breakfast Competition. I know, it is a tough job, but someone has to do it! As I have visited our local hotels & B&B’s it has been great to discover how many of our village hostelries use local produce from our village butchers. All of the Food Week PR is now done & we estimate that over half a million people will have read about Milford on Sea Food Week before we kick off. We have advertised in numerous publications from Bournemouth, up to Fordingbridge, across to Southampton & everywhere in between! We have also had editorial articles in many newspapers & magazines, including Hampshire Life, Lymington Times, Daily Echo, Christchurch Advertiser, New Forest Post & the New Forest Today, - which goes to 77,000 homes across the New Forest. We are also appearing in around 80 different food & event related websites, and you may have also noticed a few advertising signs around the village!

Hopefully you now have a programme, which is available in many of the village shops. All of the events are of course also on the website. So far there are no last minute panics & it certainly seems that we have a lot of people looking forward to the week. If you are planning to attend any of the Themed Evening’s in the restaurants, be quick in booking, as I hear a number of them are already selling out.

When the concept of Food Week was created our aim was to boost trade for every trader in the village, to help ensure we kept a vibrant village for us all. We are also looking to put Milford on Sea on the map for food. But, perhaps most importantly, we hope that everybody has a great time!

PS: Just planning another event that we may all soon need: Milford on Sea Crash Diet Week!

PPS: More good news, my wife is still here, which is a result, as I wouldn’t want to go hungry before Food Week.

Milford on Sea Food Week Website:
http://www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/

Fancy a pint?

I recently heard more about Menmeet, which is an informal local gathering for the men of the village. I had heard of Menmeet before, but knew nothing about what it actually was. Not sure if I am disappointed, but it is not the secret meeting of Ex-MI6 Spy’s that I had imagined. In fact it is a regular monthly get together open to all local men, where they meet to chat & for a bit of local entertainment. Menmeet was set up by a group of guys from All Saints and Everton churches. Now, don’t be scared, it is not a religious group, but it is simply designed to get the men in village together, indeed non church goers are particularly welcomed. Our local church simply want to enable the men in the village to get together, whether they attend church or not. In fact, you will be pleased to hear how most events involve beer! Menmeet sounds like a great way to get to know more local people in an informal way.

Menmeet hold a variety of activities, in the winter most meetings are held in a room at the White Horse pub, where they invite locally based speakers to do illustrated talks. Other activities include evening walks, finishing at a local pub, outside games evenings. (probably near a pub), and a BBQ on Hordle cliff beach, where they have access to a beach hut (presumably with beer?!) The only cost is the price of a pint, and the occasional meal together. They also have an evening meal around Christmas at the Needles Eye Cafe on Milford on Sea seafront. The groups numbers are constantly increasing, & at a recent meeting at the pub they had some 23 people. There is no formal set up, just a 'secretary' to keep a note of things. (& I guess extra bar staff wherever they visit!)

In the next week or so, we plan to have a full list of Menmeet events in out What’s On Diary, so please keep an eye out for the events & join in if you are interested.

Just a thought: It would be good if they could get one of our local butchers to do a talk, then I could write an article with a title: The men at the Menmeet meeting meet the men who sell meat!

Jamie at Home joins Food Week

A team from a Jamie Oliver company have joined Milford on Sea Food Week at the last minute. They will be offering a selection of ‘Jamie at Home’ kitchen items for you to buy at South Lawn Hotel between 11am & 3pm on Saturday 10th April. There is also an opportunity to find out how you can hold a ‘Jamie At Home’ Party in your own home if you want to. The Jamie Oliver team can tell you more if you pop down to see them on Food Week Saturday.

Jamie At Home Website:
http://www.jamieathome.com/

Danes ‘Stream' or 'River’?

You may recall that a few months ago I had a debate on these pages (mainly with myself), as to which was correct ‘Danes Stream’, Danestream’, or even ‘Dane Stream’.

That research was inconclusive & as you may recall that I put several ridiculous arguments to ensure the confusion continued. Anyway, my friend Dan (who ludicrously claimed the stream was named after him!), wanted to know whether it was a stream, or as he suspected, was it actually a river? Naturally, I had no idea, & Dan is normally wrong about most things, but I felt that it was another excuse to do some more inane research. I thought it might be best to start with a definition of a river. "A river is a natural stream of water, usually freshwater, flowing toward the ocean, a lake, or another stream. Usually larger streams are called rivers while smaller streams are called creeks, brooks, rivulets, rills, and many other terms, but there is no general rule that defines what can be called a river.” Blimey, we may have a ‘Creek’?! I had been hoping that my research would have ended with the definition & I could then go down to the The Smugglers, but a statement like ‘no general rule that defines what can be called a river’ really doesn’t help.

To steel myself for the next phase of this challenge I did what all self respecting sudo-geographers do, I asked my wife to get me a beer from the fridge. A couple of minutes later I was back, having been to the fridge myself as my darling had gently suggested this was a better option.

Back to work, my next discovery was a New Forest District Council planning application which contained ‘an advisory comment from the Environment Agency, that no development should take place within 8 metres of the Danestream River.’ River?, it’s a river!

Next, I found on the web the Parish Council News from October 2003, which referred to the ‘Footpath & Danes Stream River Revetment Work’. Oh no, Why is my life so complicated? I now have to find out what ‘Revetment’ means. Hang on a second. Ah, right, Revetment means ‘a facing of stones, sandbags, etc., to protect a wall, embankment, or earthworks’ or ‘A barricade against explosives’. My guess is that they were referring to the first definition.

The Department of Geography at the University of Portsmouth, have a record of the ‘Hampshire Olim Pars Belgarum County Map’ by John Norden in 1595, on this our little waterway is indexed as Danes Stream & it also shows two tributaries that flow into it upstream. (Just like a river?)

By now I was getting bored reading maps with silly names, & my wife’s legs still had no intention of going anywhere near the fridge, so I used my own to pop down to The Smugglers. A couple of pints later I was on my way home when my quest returned to haunt me. Walking down Sea Road & over Danes Stream, I spotted a road name sign saying ‘River Gardens’, now even more fuel was added to the fire. My final investigation found that our very own Parish Vision 2020 refers to the ‘Danestream River.’ So there you have it, our stream may well be a river.

Unfortunately, Eastenders had now finished & my wife had decided to take an interest in what I was up to, rather than Pete Beale or whoever else shouts in that daft soap. I suddenly wished that it had been an hour long episode when she said “I'd say that any water that flows could be considered a stream, but a large stream is a river, & boats go on rivers not streams” Great, just when I thought that I had sorted it for all mankind.

Only one answer to solve it then. If you see a large man in shorts, with a canoe on his back heading towards the river/stream’s mouth at Sturt Pond, don’t stop me, I will be on a mission to see if I can get from one end to the other!

15 Days to Go!

In just about two weeks time Milford on Sea Food Week will be well underway, starting on the seafront on Bank Holiday Monday. All of the participants running events are eagerly awaiting the start, & hopefully there will be lots of empty stomachs to feed! As of next Wednesday, Programme’s will be on sale for one pound in a number of the village shops, & with a bit of luck you will bump into a 'Scrummy Food Raffle Ticket' seller soon, - & feel a need to be generous! We are really hoping that you will attend as many events as you can & that we can put Milford on Sea on the map for fun & food!  |  http://www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/

Gordon Ramsay’s coming to our village

Michelin starred chef & TV culinary star Gordon Ramsay is coming to our village, well, actually he’s not, at least not yet. To explain, I have been contacted by the company representing the producers of Gordon Ramsay’s TV hit show, The F Word. They are now looking for nominations for ‘Ramsay’s Best Restaurant’ for the next series. The nominations are now underway & it would be great if you could nominate one or more of our local establishments. We are blessed with great places to eat like Westover Hall, Zaika, Britannia Thai, & now, Verveine, and it would be great fun to see them on national TV. If we could get any selected, it would also be great publicity for Milford on Sea as a village & of course well deserved recognition for our restaurants. I have already made my nominations online, so why not vote for your favourite local restaurants, & join me in getting Gordon Ramsay to our village – he would love it!

‘Ramsay’s Best Restaurant’ website: www.fword.tv/nominate.aspx

Milford on Sea Food Week Volunteer Appeal

Just thought I would keep you up to date with the progress of Milford on Sea Food Week. The great news is; my wife hasn’t left me yet. I have also been thrilled with the genuine support we have been getting from local traders & lots of village residents. Over 100 events are now planned & you can of course view these all on the Milford on Sea Food Week website. We have now ordered 1000 printed programmes for the Food Week, and have also now had the Raffle Tickets delivered. We have a first prize of a Spa Day & Lunch for 2 at Chewton Glen, second is a Gourmet Dining Meal for 2 at the Westover Hall Hotel, plus another 19 great prizes from Food Hampers to Dining Vouchers.

As you probably know this is not a fund raising event, however, we to do need to raise funds to cover venue hire, printing & advertising etc. Any cash left over will be donated to the Community Centre. We are now looking for volunteers to help us to sell raffle tickets & programmes! If you can spare a few hours to come along to any of the selected events any help would be gratefully received. If you would like to be involved please just drop me an e-mail with the rough times & days you could be free from Saturday 3rd to Sunday 11th April. It could be a good way to have a bit of fun, meet some new people & to help out a man that is feeling older by the day!

*Please E-Mail david@milfordonsea.org if you would like to volunteer to help.

Milford on Sea Food Week Website: http://www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/

Milford Gardeners Club goes Online

The Milford on Sea Gardeners Club has launched a new website to keep their membership of over 200 local people fully informed of what is happening in the world of green fingers. The club regularly meet at The Milford on Sea Primary School, from 7pm to 9pm on the third Wednesday of every month. So why not go along & see how you can keep plants alive in our salt soaked turbulent air! If you are interested in joining, please call Jenny Spenser on 01590 644489.

Milford Gardeners Club New Website:
http://www.milfordgardenersclub.co.uk/

Milford on Sea Food Week Events Underway

Although Food Week doesn’t start for another 23 days, some events are already underway. Lesley at Sullivan Mitchell has a large selection of recipe books which have been donated by generous residents, and she can still accept anymore you may have. You can also call into her estate agent shop from now on to swap or buy any of the recipe books she has. Still on the recipe theme, our online ‘Village Recipe Book’ is growing. You can get involved by simply sending me any recipes you have. We then add them to the website, & hopefully we will be able to print our own ‘Village Recipe Book’ next year. In addition to this the Food Week Auction is now underway for ‘A tour of the Palace of Westminster & lunch for Two hosted by Desmond Swayne MP’. You could take the opportunity to ask him about the forthcoming election! Your own political persuasion is irrelevant, as Desmond says that his mission is to represent all of his constituents irrespective of how they voted or intend to vote. The current highest bid stands at £105, so why not go online & beat it!

You may have noticed that Food Week signs are now appearing around the village, these are soon to be followed by Programmes & Raffle Tickets in the village shops, and hopefully also in the hands of enthusiastic sellers at Food Week events! Food Week is on its way, so please come & enjoy it!

Milford on Sea Food Week Website:
http://www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/

David Danby heads up South East Tourism Group

Long time Milford on Sea resident David Danby, has recently been elected as the Chair person for the New Forest Tourist Association Self Catering Group. The self catering group meet four times a year and share information on best practices, marketing ideas, web site development, public relations activities and other related issues. They also hear at these meetings tourism initiatives being undertaken by the NFDC and South East Tourism. David then represents the self caterers at the NFDC marketing steering committee.

David retired from the hotel industry five years ago where he held senior marketing positions for international companies. He has now built up a small self catering holiday business with two places in Milford on Sea and a third in Everton.

For anyone interested in joining the New Forest Tourist Association Self Catering Group please contact David Danby on 01590 64218  |  Old Walls website: http://www.oldwalls.com/

New B&B for the village

Milford on Sea now has a new addition to its options of places for visitors to stay. Jenny Spenser has launched Little Brook B&B at her charming home in Lymore, Milford on Sea. She will also soon be opening a cosy Self Catering cottage in the grounds of the garden. So if your usual favourites are full when you have visitors, this newly available accommodation could be a nice option for you.

Valley Cottage Holiday website:
http://www.valleycottagemilford.co.uk/

Carrington Farmhouse: We also spotted on our travels that Carrington Farmhouse B&B Is now under new management. We welcome Nici & family to the village, & wish them good luck in their new venture. They also have a new website that can be found at: http://www.carringtonfarmhouse.co.uk/

Light it up

We recently came across a local man with an interesting business. Peter Reid sells one the world's best garden lighting brands online from here in Milford on Sea. It is strange how so much can be going on around us, which we can’t even see! If you were thinking about getting some exciting lighting for your garden, I have found a man down the road that can help!

Engineering with Light website:
http://www.engineeringwithlight.com/

Our MP joins in Food Week!

Desmond Swayne, our local MP has generously donated ‘A Tour of the Palace of Westminster & Lunch for Two - hosted by Desmond Swayne MP’ to Milford on Sea Food Week. Anyone over 18 can place a bid, so why not bid to experience a visit inside the Houses of Parliament & enjoy a meal as a guest of Desmond Swayne, our local MP. You can also take the opportunity to ask him about the forthcoming election! Your own political persuasion is irrelevant, as Desmond says that his mission is to represent all my constituents irrespective of how they voted or intend to vote. Online Bidding Closes: 6pm Friday 9th April 2010. Final Bids: 8pm at Five Course Gourmet Evening at Westover Hall, Non diners can come along to place bids if they wish. Thanks go to: Desmond Swayne for the generous donation to support Milford on Sea Food Week & also to Tricia, for having the gumption to ask him! Auction Web Page: www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/auction

Farmers Market at Braxton’s Next Saturday

The New Forest Produce Farmers Market is coming to Braxton Gardens in Lymore Lane, Milford on Sea. The first farmers market will be next Saturday 3rd March from 9am to 3pm. The market will then run monthly thoughout the year on the first Saturday of every month. In addition to this, Braxton Gardens will also be holding additional farmers markets on Tuesday’s from 3pm to 7pm from May to August. This sounds a great chance to buy some tasty local produce, & a good warm up to our own village Food Market on Sunday 11th April. Neil & Emma have really revitalised Braxton Gardens since taking over last year. If you haven’t been up there recently it is certainly worth a visit. The gardens have had a substantial makeover and the tea rooms are really inviting. In additional to this they now sell an interesting selection of wines for you to take away, or you can simply enjoy a glass on the terrace. During Milford on Sea Food Week they are also putting on a number of events, including ‘An Introduction to Wine Tasting’, a ‘ Choir & Cocktail Evening’ and a ‘Teddy Bear Picnic’ for the kids. Looks like Braxton’s is certainly worth a visit if you haven’t been there for a while!

You can see all of Braxton Gardens Farmers Market dates at: www.milfordonsea.org/farmers-market-calendar

Milford Tennis & Squash Club rises from ashes

Following the devastating fire at Milford Tennis & Squash Club on Boxing Day, rebuilding work is now underway. The damaged building and asbestos roof are now being removed & reconnection of the electricity is being scheduled. The planned new layout for the building will be on display at the club very soon. The club is a great part of the Milford on Sea Community, and they cater for a lot more than the energetic amongst us. In addition to lawn tennis, squash & table tennis, (all games where people choose to run about for some reason), they also host more sedate activities, such as Bridge, Mahjong and even an Art Club & an active social scene. I suspect that a lot of people can’t wait for the club to be back in full flow. Milford Tennis & Squash Club website http://www.milfordtennisandsquash.net/

New Flood Defences at Danes Stream

Milford on Sea is to get New Flood Defences at the Danes Stream. The Environment Agency is investing in excess of £700,000 into three New Forest Flood Zones. Our own sheet pile flood defences will be replaced at a cost of £60,000 sometime during this year.

Need any odd jobs done?

Time are pretty tough out there for many trying to make a living, but thankfully things still need to be done around the home. If you are looking for a local service of any kind it is worth taking a look at the ‘Village Business & Home Services’ page on the ‘Our Village’ tab. We have information on some good local handymen & other trades that could come in useful. Local services: www.milfordonsea.org/village-businesshome-services

More Awards for David’s Sausages & Bacon!

Our local butcher, David Gates from The Butchers Shop in Milford on Sea has won more awards for his already substantial trophy cabinet. Impressively, David has been awarded the title of ‘Hampshire Home Cured Bacon Champion’ at ‘The Great Hampshire Sausage, Pie & Ready Meal Competition’. David was also awarded with six gold awards for his village made sausages, plus he also won another two gold awards for his bacon. Sounds like these could be worth a try!

The Great Hampshire Sausage, Pie & Ready Meal Competition is organised by Hampshire Fare, and was held at Sparsholt Agricultural College near Winchester. The event is the biggest county competition of its kind, with the competition attracting around 200 individual entries from 30 Hampshire butchers and livestock farmers.

David is also celebrating 25 years of trading in Milford on Sea during Food Week. To mark the occasion he is planning to offer ‘One pound of Sausages at the 1985 price’ during his anniversary. Congratulations David, it great to have the ‘Hampshire Sausage & Bacon King’ in our village!

Verveine Restaurant opens to rave reviews

Our new local fine dining fish restaurant has now opened to rave reviews in Milford on Sea. Already people who have dined there are saying it is even better than Pebble Beach at Barton on Sea, & that is quite an accolade. Now of course you should not take my word for it, particularly as Stacey & David are friends of mine. Having visited the build on numerous occasions the transformation is extraordinary, Stacey’s eye for design is very impressive. However, as with most projects of this kind there was blind panic in the run up to opening. I would have course lent a hand personally, but I am more of the cerebral & arty kind. My wife however is the practical one in our family, so I sent her along to do a few hours of painting alongside Uncle John & several others. The end result was staggering as you will find when you visit. (Particularly the painting of the ‘arched window’ I have been instructed to tell you.)

I do have one complaint though. ‘My friends’ had sold out on the night we wanted to go, friends eh! Anyway, to keep myself happy I decided to gate crash their ‘opening reception’ for local hoteliers & B&B’s on Tuesday night. Free drinks & canapés is my kind of evening. (My wife couldn’t make it as she was still trying to get the smell of white spirit out of her hair.) As I had no formal invitation I told the guy on the door that I owned Chewton Glen, & he happily let me in. The amassed gathering were having a great time, so I just blended into the background & tucked into the canapés. Did you think that smoked salmon & granny smiths apples would go?, what about chocolate truffles with peanut butter? No, I didn’t either but they were amazing & the hot smoked salmon & mackerel pate was fantastic. (Yes, I did eat them in that order.) It will come as no surprise that everyone else was equally impressed & the bookings taken proved this. It was also great to have a chat with Chris Monk who had run the original Monks Fishmongers on the site for many years. Chris was thrilled with the transformation, & he was more than pleased that not only have we retained a great wet fish shop in the village, but we have also gained a great restaurant.

Last Saturday my son Matthew, took his girlfriend Kayleigh to Verveine’s for an early Valentine's treat. You would think that I would be pleased when he confidently told me that they both felt it was the best meal they had ever had. However, when I considered all of the expensive restaurants I have taken him to over the years, I was slightly annoyed that Verveine hadn’t opened sooner. Dave is without doubt an amazing chef & Stacey is passionate about ensuring everyone has a great experience. One day we will get to dine there, - that is if ‘my friends’ can fit us in, & my wife can eradicate the white spirit from her hair! http://www.verveine.co.uk/

Milford Croft goes gold!

Milford Croft Self Catering bungalow, just off the seafront in Hurst Road, Milford on Sea, has recently undergone its annual assessment by VisitBritain and has now been awarded their five star status for the accommodation being ‘exceptional with a degree of luxury’. To add to this Colin & Tricia have also received the Quality Assessment Scheme Gold Award. This award only became available for self catering establishments during 2009 and is used sparingly. There’s only one other self catering cottage in Milford on Sea that has been assessed to this level and just a handful in the New Forest area. The owners, Tricia and Colin are understandably delighted. http://www.milfordcroft.co.uk/

A lunchtime surprise at Zaika

Anyone who reads the nonsense I report on these pages will be well aware that I am partial to a great curry. Fortunately, I know a lot of you are as well.

As part of my research for the Milford on Sea Food Week I decided that it would be good to get a picture, and a bit of background on all of the chefs, or owners of the eateries in the village. To find out about the chef at Zaika I called Kalam & arranged an appointment to call.

On arriving I had no idea that I was about to enter my own personal heaven. I soon met Souel Bodrul, who I was to discover was trained at the Dhaka Sheraton Hotel in his home country of Bangladesh, and that in the UK, Souel has been a specialist tandoori chef at the Bombay Brassiere, & Chutney Mary in London. He now loves creating unique dishes at our own local Zaika restaurant. After taking some photos to accompany the pen pictures on the website, Kalam asked if I would like to see the dishes from the new menu he will be launching in a couple of weeks. Would I?!!

In no time the kitchen was in full flow & one incredible dish followed another, & each was art on a plate. You of course know what I was now thinking. Four exquisite dishes on the table that had only been touched by the flash from my camera, - they looked lovely, but very lonely! Right on cue, Kalam asked if I would like to taste them. Now, my desired answer was of course a foregone conclusion, but like most things in my life, situations are not simple.

To explain, just before coming to Zaika my wife had said ‘don’t be too long, I am doing tomato soup with homemade bread for lunch’. You can see my dilemma, I was now faced with the wrath of my wife, or a fantastic meal.

I decided that I have survived most misdemeanours in the past, all that I needed was a good story for getting home late. Again looking at the table ladened with glorious food, I decided my excuse would wait.

So, not wanting to eat alone I said to Kalam, ‘only if you join me’. I know, a risky strategy, but luckily it worked. Kalam & I then sat down & tucked our way through a new starter of Kurkure Stuffed Mushrooms, a breadcrumb coated ball containing mushroom, potato, sweetcorn & cottage cheese, served on a bed of vegetable curry. Then we tucked into the first new main course, which was a Cinnamon Tossed Grilled Chicken Breast, made with free range corn fed chicken stuffed with spinach & flavoured with spices & garlic, served on a sweet & sour sweet corn sauce, still going, we then had Chicken Chameli, tandoori free range corn fed chicken breasts stuffed with spiced peas & carrots, served on a black lentil & homemade mango sauce. Finally we reached the Dipped Chocolate Strawberries & mango pulp! As we ate, Souel & his team watched us intently, & we could see their satisfied smiles as we savoured each different taste.

Hard to believe that things could get even better, but Kalam then told me the dishes will be on his menu in a couple of weeks, & that they were starting an ‘All You Can Eat Sunday Buffet’ at the same time. I just love living in Milford on Sea!

On leaving, and having said my thanks, I remembered I had to explain why I had been out for two hours. So walking back I bought some mints, & then rolled in the muddy grass by the Danes Stream.

As I arrived home there was no welcoming kiss for me, just a slightly uncomfortable feeling, as my wife look up & down at my muddy clothes. Things were not going so well now. I endeavoured to explain how I had been mugged in Sea Road by a gang of four old ladies on motorised scooters, but she was having none of it. Worse still, she recalled the time I had been mugged by a gang of particularly large girl guides, & a few months later by a troup of vertically challenged guys from the local circus. It then occurred to me that it was probably time that I now thought of a more creative line of excuses.

Looks like I will be getting my own tea tonight, but I’m a bit nervous to ask if there is any tomato soup left.

Duncan is back!

A familiar face has returned to the Milford on Sea estate agent scene. Duncan Broomfield is now managing Sullivan Mitchell having returned to work in the village. Previously Duncan has worked at Murray Hayward for 7 years & before this he spent 7 years in the RAF Police serving on overseas detachments and UK based. Duncan is married to Charlie who runs Purple Paperclips IT services and they have two children Holly 15 and Archie 5. When not working around the village, you will find Duncan indulging in his favourite pastime of enjoying his 1969 mk2 Mini Cooper. Following Duncan’s arrival the Sullivan Mitchell office will be open 7 days a week from 1st March 2010. http://www.sullivanmitchell.net/

Join in Food Week with ‘Come Dine with Me!

Come Dine with Me! is an opportunity to have a bit of culinary fun with friends, family or neighbours, or even to get to know someone new, - & at the same time enjoy your own home entertaining skills!

Milford on Sea has an exciting & fun addition to the Food Week events calendar, and you can easily join in. Come dine with Me is a fun competition amongst the keen amateur cooks & hosts in the village. This one really is ‘not about the winning’, taking part is the bit that counts. Come Dine with Me! is an opportunity to have a bit of culinary fun with friends, neighbours, or to get to know someone new, - & at the same time enjoy your own home entertaining skills! Entering is simple, we need one 'Head Chef' to find 3 other people to be in their 'Come Dine with Me! Group. Each member of the group takes a turn to entertain the other 3 at home with a three course meal which is made from produce purchased in the village shops. The group can be made up of 'individuals', or 'couples'. All couples must cook individually on 'their own hosting night'. At the end of all dining evenings each invited guest scores each evening out of ten & gives their scores to the 'Head Chef'. The winner will be the host with the highest final score, & the winners of each group will get to be featured on this website! The scoring is just a bit of fun, the real idea is to have some great nights dining with friends!

How to Enter Come Dine with Me!

1. The 'Head Chef' to e-mail names & e-mail addresses of themselves & the 3 other people to be in their 'Come Dine with Me! Group' to david@milfordonseafoodweek.org

2. The 'Head Chef' then arranges the dates for each of the dining evenings, which must be completed between 1st March & 11th April.

3. Each cook in the 'Come dine with Me! Group', must send a copy of their nights menu to the rest of the group no later than one week before your entertaining date.

4. For all meals the produce should be purchased from the Milford on Sea village shops.

5. At the end of the dining evenings the 'Head Chef' sends the groups results to David for the winners to be featured on this website.

david@milfordonseafoodweek.org

6. Closing date for entries: End of February

7. Any groups that do not enjoy themselves will be disqualified! Come Dine with Me! is fun - Come on, join in now!

Why not join in now? |  www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/come-dine-with-me

Live Bomb Detonated on Hurst Spit

At around 3.30 pm Sunday afternoon the flashing blue lights from a Bomb Disposal Unit truck was spotted driving though Milford on Sea village. Your intrepid reporter was enjoying a afternoon relaxation after a particularly spectacular Sunday lunch with friends at Westover Hall. (Surely the pastry chef, is one of the finest masters of his craft in the country. His sweets are so amazing that we ordered five between the four of us.) I digress, so back to the bomb disposal.

I now had a duty to find out what’s going on, but couldn’t really be bothered. I then decided to wake my sleeping wife to tell her of the excitement. Not sure why, but she wasn’t greatly impressed. Her speech is quite incoherent when unexpectedly woken, but I guessed she was trying to tell me how much she adored being with me. I quickly asked ‘Do you fancy a walk to Hurst Spit?’, ‘Yes, why not’ she said as clearly as she could under the circumstances.

For some inexplicable reason, her eye’s became glazed with that ‘mass murder look’ when I replied: ‘Great, can you find out what’s going on & tell me when you get back’. I was a bit worried for my life for a few seconds, but mustered the courage to explain that I had just got comfortable & was watching the rugby.

Without her saying anything I got the impression that my wife was not the least concerned about my afternoon pleasure.

Anyway, my wife soon trotted off with our two sniffer dogs, both of whom would be willing to help out if the bomb disposal guys needed a hand. Around 4pm I heard an loud explosion. Dutifully, my wife later reported back that the Bomb Disposal guys had detonated a device on the beach just along the Spit after the bridge. My wife had failed to investigate what type of bomb it was, but I thought it best not to mention her error to her, as I hear ‘strange accidents’ can happen to husbands when a wife is annoyed!

www.milfordonsea.org/news

TV fame for our local boat boy!

At the end of October you may recall a story in these pages entitled ‘War Boats Ahoy’, which was about how Milford on Sea’s own Phil Clabburn had restored two historical war boats, which were subsequently purchased by Portsmouth Historic Dockyard. Well, Phil is on BBC Breakfast on Tuesday morning. The news clip will be repeated throughout the day. The BBC came down to Portsmouth and interviewed him on how he had restored the boats & then filmed him driving them on the water. For anyone who gets National Geographic on Sky, there will be an hour long programme on Phil and the boats he restored called 'Great British Machines' at 9pm on 15th February. Phil has one last remaining boat RAF 206, which was originally Lawrence of Arabia's boat and the first boat Phil ever restored, this has now been purchased by Hendon RAF museum in London. It will make its last voyage by sea around the south coast and up through the Thames in stages, taking in Newhaven, Dover and St. Catherine’s Dock before being placed under the wing of a flying boat in the Museum. A true and fitting end has been achieved for all Phil’s hard work over the years.

On a more sombre note, Phil’s faithful black Labrador ‘Guinness’, who stayed by his side whilst he worked on the boats all those years, died aged 12 on Wednesday. He'll be sadly missed by Phil, and anyone who met him on his regular trips to the Red Lion in the village. When you see his picture you can imagine it was a fun 12 years. Rest in peace old friend.

Mole Men claim more territory

No sooner do I reveal the truth about the mole men living in their hole in Lymington Road, that they test my patience by now appearing with a new hole in Cliff Road! Their efforts to conceal their real activity by installing temporary traffic lights and a spurious Southern Gas Networks sign, doesn’t fool me for one minute. I suppose that these could be independent burrowing structures by different tribes of mole men, but my theory is that our resident family has tunnelled from one side of the village to the other. Considering the length that the tunnel must be, it is not inconceivable that they are building an underground town, bringing their in reinforcements in by the dark of night. Not that I am really that bothered, as even mole men need to live somewhere. Indeed I am sure if we were asked nicely I guess most of us would not object strongly. (Wouldn’t fancy their chances of getting permission from the Parish Council though). The likelihood is that they are under your house right now. Anyway, I hope I have not alarmed you with my revelation, as I am sure that they are quite friendly, although that may give a nasty nip if approached unexpectedly. (A bit like my wife really).

Footnote: Driving home tonight I spotted a sign saying that Sea Road is going to be closed for a few days from the 10th to 13th February. It seems the mole men are wasting no time in colonising the entire Milford on Sea sub terrain. I wonder if we asked them nicely whether they would put in an underground railway? Do you know anyone in the Milford on Sea Wildlife Group who speaks ‘mole’? Looks like we may need someone to negotiate on behalf of us surface dwellers.

On a related but separate note, I have to say that some readers of these news pages don’t always seem to take my stories seriously. After my story last week on the road mole works in Lymington Road, I then speculated that the holes are dug by mole men, who then disappear down the hole to live. My challenge to send in some photo’s showing any men actually working on the site was met with a response, but not quite as expected. Not being an expert on manual labour, I cannot be 100% sure, but I have to say, I do not think the photo’s sent in are genuine. On reflection, I am not sure it is a good idea to ask readers to send in pictures. If you would like to see the nonsense photos sent in, here you go...

click image to enlarge

The Germans are coming!

When we started out on creating Milford on Sea Food Week we never quite expected that it would draw in visitors from Germany! To explain, Rex Harrod is a former resident of Milford on Sea, and was at Milford school from 1959 to 1965, he now lives in Calle, near Meschede in Germany. (No idea why!) Well, Rex has been a reader of our News Bulletins for some time now, & on hearing about Milford on Sea Food Week he decided that this was just the excuse he needed to return to his old village. It has been several years since Rex was last here, so he will love our new custard road surface in the High Street. Unfortunately the Salad Bowl hasn’t been changed one bit. Taking full advantage of his trip to fill his stomach, he is also hoping to meet up with some ‘old faces’ he once knew. Rex has made the ‘schoolboy error’ of sending me some old photographs: one as he is now, one as a smoking milkman with a mullet from the seventies, and one of Milford football team from 1964. However, he then revealed that he wasn’t actually in the football team in 1964! I felt it would be unfair to embarrass him by publishing these pictures. But I then changed my mind, & you can see the pictures on the link at the bottom of this page. Not content with embarrassing himself, Rex has also given me a picture from 1964 which includes Chris Barrass, Ian Sims, Binksy Setchel, Geoff Woodford, John Cox, Bob Briad, Beefy Strong, Donald Reed, Spud Taylor, Digger Hodgson & Stuart Davies. Rex also recalls, Chris Hobby, Mervyn Cousins and David Gates, so watch out lads he knows where you live!

Strangely, Rex is now known as Rick. (I wonder if he changed it because Rex is a rude word in German?) Rex’s Rick’s family used to live in Orchard Cottage, right next to All Saint’s Church. If you knew Rex & would like to get in touch now let me know. Rex will be in the Smugglers Inn at 1pm on 11th April - Food Market Sunday, (he thinks he is going to The Crown & has no idea the name changed years ago), so put it in your diary to pop in & say hello. (I was going to ask him if he would wear a daft German moustache & lederhosen, so we all know who he is – However, from his photo I see he already has the daft moustache, so only the lederhosen to find.) Alternatively, if you did know him, but would never like to meet him again, might be best to hide during Food Week. Although I have never met Rex, (or Rick), I am going to go to the Smugglers & pretend we were at school together. Then I will claim that my heart is still broken after he stole my girlfriend & that my life has been ruined since that day. Can’t wait to see how he reacts when I break down sobbing in a packed bar, - and then ask him if he will take me back to live with him in Germany! Rex has promised to bring my wife a German beer when he comes over, and I wonder if Rick will bring a bottle as well? - Roll on Food Week!

Note: For anyone who cares: Calle and is near Meschede in the 'county' of Hochsauerlandkreis which is East of Dortmund, West of Kassel and North of Frankfurt. No wonder no one bothers to visit him with an address like that!

PS: Rick, Rex, or whatever he calls himself today, has said John Cox who now runs his own Radiology business in Australia may also be making his way back to Milford on Sea for Food Week. I am reliably informed that John was actually in the football team in 1964, unlike my new mate Rolf, as I now call him.

If you would like to see Rex’s old photos please visit: www.milfordonsea.org/news-rex

Newcomers get a warm welcome

On Saturday night anyone new to the village in the past year was invited to a free supper at the All Saints Church Hall. Prior to eating, the guests were able to attend a ‘mini exhibition’ of the clubs, associations & services in the village. Over 40 representatives met & greeted the newcomers, explaining the offerings they had for them. Not being new to the village I had wangled an invitation on the basis of being an organiser of Food Week. It wasn’t long before I was back into the patter I had once used at Petticoat Lane & the Ideal Home Exhibition many years ago. No one was going to get past without hearing about the special event the village will be enjoying in April. It was fun jumping out & scaring people, before explaining about this website, & our new village event just after Easter. It was enjoyable to hear how everyone I met was so delighted to be now living in the village & they were astounded at all that was available to participate in. Most places I know are wary of newcomers, but our special little place goes out of its way to welcome them with a warm heart. The ‘mini exhibition’ was followed with a sit down meal for the newcomers. Now at this stage I should have gone home, but I decided to put on an apron to pretend I was working with the girls in the kitchen. This enabled me to see what happened next. All of the guests were the welcomed by various notaries from the village, each giving a little speech. My favourite was Rev Barbara Jefferies, she had a warm smile & excellent sense of humour. As the meals were about to leave the kitchen, I disrobed from my apron (just in case I had to do any work) & left for home to check if my wife had noticed if I had gone out. This evening will leave a special memory for many who attended.  Thanks must go to the girls & guys in & around the kitchen who did a sterling job looking after everyone.  The event was predominately organised by one lady, - Ruth Bufton stand up & take a bow, you deserve it!

David Gates to Celebrate 25 years at The Butchers Shop

I am sure it only feels like yesterday to him, but David Gates is approaching twenty five years running a butchers shop in Milford on Sea. David opened ‘The Butchers Shop’ in Church Hill on the 5th April 1985 and has been trading from there ever since. Coincidentally, his anniversary falls within Milford on Sea Food Week. To share his celebration with his customers, and as a way to say thank you for all the years of trade, David will have a Food Week Offer of: ‘One pound of Sausages at 1985 price with every purchase of £15 or more.’ Over the years David has won many awards for his sausages, so his offer sounds good to me! Happy anniversary David.

Milford to Celebrate the Guiding Centenary

Anne Briad has been in touch, to let us know that 2010 is the Centenary year of the Girl Guide movement. In Milford on Sea the event is being marked with a reunion party for all present and former members of Milford's Guide, Brownie and Rainbow units. Anne would like to contact as many former members as she can, as soon as possible. To mark the Centenary year of Guiding there will be a reunion party on Saturday evening 16th October 2010 for anyone who has been associated with Guiding in Milford since the first company was formed in 1918, that is to say current and former Leaders, Young Leaders, Guides, Brownies, Rainbows, Trefoil Guild members and helpers. The organisers are also hoping to mount a display of photographs of Milford Guides and Guiding activities across the years, so as well as meeting up again with old friends there will be plenty to reminisce over during the evening. Anyone who would like to join in the occasion, or who has pictures of Milford Guides or Milford Guiding occasions which they would be prepared to lend should contact Janet Reed (nee Knight) on 01425 615522 (answer phone) or e-mail janlesreed@btinternet.com

Milford on Sea Food Week Keeps Growing!

Milford on Sea Food Week is a community event celebrating all that is great about food. The village will be alive with a wide variety of activities for everyone in the family. The website contains a full programme of daily events with a main family attraction being the Sunday Food Market. The Milford on Sea Food Market is an exciting event which spans the length of the High Street, & also covers the village green. The event runs from 10am to 3pm on Sunday 11th April 2010, and is the finale to the 70 events & activities that will be taking place on a daily basis throughout Milford on Sea Food Week. The Food Market has around thirty five different stalls, & is a great celebration of all that is great about local food. The stalls feature a tremendous variety of local produce, including chutneys & cooking sauces made in the village, jams, English cheeses, New Forest goats cheese, venison, smoked fish, pies, pasties, savoury treats, olives, and English wine. For the sweet toothed there are handmade chocolates from New Milton, double baked biscuits from Lymington, bags of sweets, candy floss, handmade fudge, exotic desserts & delicious cakes from Yum of Milford on Sea. No one visiting will go hungry, as the market offers hot snacks like chicken tikka, paella, hog roast, and sweet or savoury hot crepes. The market even has a Children’s Pottery Experience, food related ceramic pottery, & contemporary local paintings.

For the ‘green visitors’, The New Forest Transition Group have a seedling exchange, and the New Forest Park Authority will have a stand discussing Food Miles & the New Forest Marque. There will also be presentations for the local schools ‘Kids Egg Painting Competition’, the village ‘Best Breakfast Competition’ & the prize winner’s draw for the ‘Scrummy Food Raffle’. To keep everyone entertained there is also a Recipe Book Swap for everyone to join in with, and The New Forest Plonkers will be providing live music in their unique ‘agricultural’ style.

We will also have lots of our village shops opening especially for the day, providing fresh fruit & vegetables, fresh flowers, delicatessen counter, a Food in Art Exhibition, gifts for the home, local art and beauty treatments, you can even go back to your childhood in the Milford Models Shop! Plus of course, the village’s tea shops & pubs offer full English breakfasts, Sunday roast dinners, snacks, Danish pastries, cakes, afternoon teas and continental coffee’s. With so much happening this really is a day not to miss!

Milford on Sea Food Week itself runs from the Bank Holiday Monday 5th April until Sunday 11th April 2010 and has daily dining offers & themed events in all restaurants & cafes, cookery experiences & demonstrations, educational events & talks, children’s fun cooking competitions, & the chance to buy local produce at our very own Food Market on the closing Sunday. Over 70 individual events are already planned throughout the week which runs every day from Easter Bank Holiday Monday through to the following Sunday every year. Don’t miss a thing, mark it out in your diary now!

Please visit the Milford on Sea Food Week website to find out more: www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/food-market

Lymington Road Slalom

It appears the invisible mole men from 'Southern Gas Networks' have appeared in the village. Their hobby is to dig holes that cut roads in half, & then to disappear. Having passed through several times, I have yet to see any mole men working. Some may assume that they have left the site, I however have another theory, - they live down the hole. I suspect they only come out at night only to replace the batteries in the temporary traffic lights, or to pop down to The Smugglers. The regular traffic queues remind me of my birthplace in London, but without the muggers. If anyone see’s the mole men working in Lymington Road, please send in a pictures, as I won’t believe you otherwise!

Some great images of Milford on Sea

Surfing the web recently I came across a nice collection of creative photographs of Milford on Sea. The photographer is Steve Elson, & having introduced ourselves he has kindly given us permission to add some of his shots to our website. Whilst we have Milford on Sea Food Week to sort out first, I thought you might like to take a look at some of his work now. To view Steve’s Milford on Sea picture gallery please click this link: www.picturesofengland.com/user/fotoboy/pictures/1//England/Hampshire/Milford_on_Sea

Braxton Gardens reopening with Off License & Farmers Market

When Braxton Gardens reopens on Monday 1st February, they will be licensed, and offering a fully stocked Wine & Beer Shop. The shop will feature a comprehensive selection of over 50 fine wines, champagne and beer, all with local free home or office delivery. Braxton not only has its famous David Austin Rose Gardens, but also offers a café serving fresh coffee, premium teas, cakes and light lunches. They will be open from 9am for seven days a week.

The New Forest Producers Market will also have a new home at Braxton Gardens in Milford on Sea from Saturday 6th March (9am to 3pm). The Braxton Gardens Farmers Market will run on the First Saturday of Every Month, with additional markets on selected Tuesdays (3pm to 7pm) during the summer season. The farmers market will sell fresh and seasonal New Forest Marque local produce, direct from the farmers and small holders of the New Forest. The stalls will include honey, bread, cakes, eggs, wool, beef, local game, pork and bacon, cheese, vegetables, specialist plants and much more. They are a great opportunity to meet producers and find out about your local food. You can view the entire programme of Farmers Markets on the following link. Braxton Gardens Farmers Marker Calendar: www.milfordonsea.org/farmers-market-calendar

Wicked Smokers Punished

Whist my businesses offices are not in Milford on Sea, there is a tenuous link to this story because I do live in the village. More importantly, I thought you might be amused by my recent correspondence to our landlords about our office, which is in a building called The Hub.

LETTER:

Not sure who is responsible for the new ‘smoking shelter’, so I would grateful if you could pass this on to them please.

To whom it may concern.

I have just attempted to take a smoke outside Stalag Hub. It is now an interesting experience sitting in wet clothes attempting to carry on with my work. Whilst I appreciate you do not have control of the weather, (you don’t do you?), you could make my working life a little less hassle. How about a shelter within a reasonable distance of an entrance from our office block? I have to let you know that your new smoking shelter is not my best friend. Life is now a bit tricky when a wicked working smoker needs a fix & it must be disappointing for you to hear that your covert attempt to get me fit is not appreciated. There was a day when I would appreciate a quick sprint to get somewhere, but today I prefer a gentle stroll. It is a shame that the smoking shelter is a lifetime away & completely inaccessible without braving the elements. I do recognise the undoubted amusement that the smoking expeditions bring to all watching from the windows, as smokers of various shapes & sizes attempt to dodge the rain at speed, perhaps the humour levels could be raised by adding some grease to the steps or pavements?, then everyone can watch the addicted fall over – always a funny one. In sunnier times I tested a theory & it proved to be true that I could light a cigarette on leaving the door & finish it by the time I reached the shelter. Having arrived it seemed a shame not to stay a while, so I had another one. After a chat, it is time for the return journey, & a last cigarette. So ‘three’ when I normally would have had ‘one’. Did you know that you are actually increasing the carbon footprint of The Hub now. (I guess this was not you intention?) Rumour has it that our own smoking area was removed because someone (who has now left) complained that they could smell faint traces of smoke in their office? Quite a feat, as all of the buildings windows are sealed, they must therefore be applauded for their ultra sensitive nostrils – wherever they are now.

I have even been advised by ‘an official’, that smoking outside our back door, (where the original ‘official’ smoking bin was up until a few weeks ago!) is now a ‘Health & Safety’ risk, as I pointed out to him, I believe this to be complete nonsense. We all know that ‘Health & Safety’ rules can at times be ridiculous, but I am sure that even these regulations cannot meet these depths of ludicrousness. Unsurprisingly, my research was unable to identify which section of the ‘Health & Safety Act’ that was now being contravened. Anyway, regulatory nonsense aside, what is the ‘depth’ of the newly invented ‘building smoking exclusion zone’?, as I can spot no signs. To help us unfortunates, perhaps we could have a red line, two foot ditch, or even an electric fence around the building, which would indicate to us evil smokers where we are being a dangerous threat to mankind & where we are reluctantly acceptable. As smoke control is the aim, wind direction & speed can obviously make life complicated for the rule makers with this one, so will the ‘building smoking exclusion zones depth’ expand and contract based on the wind direction or speed? If so, a wind sock or electronic indicator on the side of the building would be appreciated. Another idea may be to have heat or smoke sensitive sensors on all building walls with search lights & alarms to let us all know when someone deviates into the no go area. It might also be fun if the security guys have paint guns to splat the offenders. I quite like this idea. As I expect to be paint covered most of the time, can I choose the paint colours please?

Perhaps we could protect people further by sinking the new shelter into a bunker thirty feet underground, then no one working or visiting here will be offended by the sight of these unfortunate nicotine stained people. No smokers in our office were asked their opinions before the changes were made, therefore I hope my following suggestions are also implemented without consultation. In the pursuit of fairness I believe we should now eradicate all evil from The Hub. We could start will removing all bad substances, starting with coffee & tea due to the addictive nature of caffeine. Also calories are a problem in managing weight, so The Aviators Café should be replaced totally with a Tofu & Prune Bar.

PS: At times I can smell fruit fumes in my office, can all fruit be banned from all offices as well please.

PPS: You may consider reading this a waste of your time, but I am only getting my own back for the time you waste of my team as they continually venture daily to the ‘smoking den of iniquity’ & back. Must go now, there is a break in the rain & I need a fag.

DL

Chairman

Read more stuff: http://www.milfordonsea.org/

Verveine Restaurant Open for Valentine’s Day

Milford on Sea is to welcome its latest quality restaurant when they open on 12th February, in fact they are taking booking now if you want to be one of the first to dine there. Based On the site of Monks Fishmongers, Verveine Fishmarket Restaurant is a new contemporary dining venue in the heart of Milford on Sea village. Having seen the menu, which features fresh local produce cooked in imaginative ways, the impression is one of exciting, quality food served at affordable prices. The menu consists of personal touches like freshly smoked bacon from their own in-house smokery, homemade daily baked fresh bread, plus homemade pasta, ice cream and sorbets. The idea is to use ingredients from our local doorstep, whether its wild bass from The Solent, crab and lobster from Lymington, local cheeses from Sway or pheasants from a local shoot in the New Forest. The menu is Modern British cuisine, featuring fish and seafood, complimented with contemporary meat & pasta dishes. Verveine is a concept born from the ideas of Stacey Crouch and David Wykes, and they are making every effort to make dining at Verveine a special experience, whether you are visiting for a light lunch of home smoked scallops Maryland or the tasting menu “From our shores”. The decor in the new restaurant looks great & is designed to create a friendly & relaxed informal atmosphere.

Thankfully Milford on Sea village hasn’t lost its traditional fishmongers. The new Verveine Fishmarket sits in front of the restaurant, and still supplies the local villagers & of course now, the restaurant menu. We also hear that there are future plans for a ‘Fish Cookery School’, (this is to train people - not fish, to cook seafood meals), now that sounds a great idea! If you fancy making a dining booking now, you can call Verveine on 01590 642176. You can also visit their new restaurant on the following link: http://www.verveine.co.uk/

New Belle Epoque Wine Bar & Cafe has opening date

The transformation of Attic Attack (& before that Clarkes Shoe shop), in Milford on Sea High Street is reaching completion & we understand the new wine bar cafe with be opening on Wednesday 3rd February. 

As well as taking on a new function the building will also carry the new name ‘Belle Opoque’, which we have translated to mean something like ‘Beautiful time’. The ‘cafe food’ element of the plan with arrive around Easter, when the kitchens are expected to be completed. He menu includes a glass of champagne & smoked salmon for £5, and prosseco & smoked salmon, cheese or cured ham for £4. 

There are also plans to develop the food offering to included a tapas bar. Having heard of a sneak preview of the interior we understand that it is Mike’s version of ‘shabby chic’, with an eclectic mix of aged furniture & walls adorned with ‘nic-knacks’. A significant range of books & paperbacks will be also be available to buy with the proceeds going to the British Legion. 

The bar’s lounge will have papers & magazines to read, & people will be able to enjoy a relaxing glass of wine, or coffee & other hot drinks on visits. The new opening hours will be 8am to 8pm Wednesday to Sunday.

There will also be an off license inside called ‘Vine Associates’, which will be run by John James. The off license will also open Wednesday to Sunday with 12 noon to 8pm opening hours.

Ravens Way Planning Application Objections

The Parish Council Planning Committee met recently and heard briefly from the NHS, the developers, Penny Farthing, plus a more detailed presentation from the architect regarding the proposed development for the Ravens Way site just west of The White House on Milford on Sea seafront. The committee were unhappy, & in their view the proposal was an over-development of the site. In particular parts of the development were too tall relative to the White House and the properties in The Boltons. It was noted that the plans and drawings presented were not to scale and there was a degree of vagueness as to the height (specially of the four storey tower) against the rooflines of surrounding buildings. There was also concern that the plan lacked any element of 'affordable housing', although an indication was given that it was 'hoped' to provide some of this on a different site in Milford on Sea. There were suggestions that the sewage system would be placed under additional strain despite assurances from the developers. NFDC have to finally decide the application and will get the Parish Councils view that in its present form it should be refused. Watch this space to see what happens!

Pointless Cycle Paths for Milford on Sea

We have discovered through Colin, our intrepid local newshound, that plans are currently being considered by New Forest District Council for Cycle Routes through Milford on Sea, I guess these are designed as a covert plan to get us all fit. (Although their chances of achieving this with Colin & I are pretty remote.)

The proposed cycle routes appear to crisscross happily right across the village. I have only had the pleasure of seeing the proposed map online without any written explanation text. That however is not an issue on two fronts.

Firstly, if there is such a document, it is unlikely that I would be bothered to try to decipher the ‘council speak’ in what is likely to be a be a weighty tomb of nonsense.

Secondly, it is much more fun to make wild assumptions. On viewing the map it soon became clear to me that the ‘Cycle Routes’ were actually currently being used for another purpose, - existing roads. Hmmm, so does this mean the roads are to become cycle routes, & in turn new roads will be built later for the cars that no longer have anywhere else to drive on? Perhaps not. Not being a cyclist myself I am unclear of their strange customs, but I always thought they could ride on these roads already? Possibly I am missing something.

I know, the Cycle Route will have ‘cycle lanes’ added to indicate to cyclists that they can cycle on roads that they could always cycle on before. Brilliant idea! Thinking through the practicalities, I could not work out how the cycle lanes would be accommodated, then it came to me, it is simply a case of deciding which side of the roads will have all of their houses demolished to add in the cycle lanes. I suppose by removing houses it will also provide an opportunity to drop in a dual carriageway, bus lane & perhaps if there is enough room a lane exclusively for rickshaws. The map also shows a ‘possible short contra-cycle lane’ for the High Street. ‘Contra cycle lane’ – what does that mean? No, I have no idea either. Researching the dictionary I ended up with three definitions for ‘contra’. Firstly, ‘A member of the guerrilla force that opposed a left-wing government in Nicaragua’. Perhaps the lane will just be for them, but quite honestly it has been a while since I saw a guerrilla in the village. The next definition was; ‘A deal that allows for the exchange of services, goods or publicity without money changing hands’. Ah, perhaps you have to offer something to the council on entry, if they like the swap deal you can go through, if not you just have to use a normal road I’m afraid. The final definition is; ‘In contrast or opposition to; or against’, that’s the one I reckon. The cycle lane will go in the opposite direction to the current one way traffic. To some this may seem daft, but thinking about it, the shopkeepers will love watching our friends on two wheels dodging oncoming cars in panic, plus of course it will draw extra people to the village to watch the ‘cycle run of death!’.

My wife was taking a lot of interest in my one way discussions on this subject, whilst at the same time pretending to be reading a book. Suddenly, she suggested that I should buy a bike. She went on to say how I could then cycle twenty five miles a day for ten days. Not understanding her reasoning I asked whether this was a plan to help lose the five stone I had put on over Christmas? No, she said, it simply means you will then end up two hundred & fifty miles away from here. I don’t think she is taking the situation seriously.

It may be pretty obvious that I live in my own little world (without a bike or any cycle lanes), but someone was telling me the other day about something called the ‘credit crunch’. As a result it appears the government need to save quite a lot of money. Well, I have one idea, how about shutting the ‘NFDC Pointless Cycle Route Department’. Alternatively, the council team could be redeployed to something of a bit more value, like building a Milford on Sea underground railway, or they could even resurface the High Street again if they are really stuck for ideas. Apparently these are ‘Preliminary plans for consultation only’, and I bet they will have great fun chatting to any people they can find who understands their plan. If you can be bothered you can view the ‘Proposed Cycle Route Map’ on the following link:
http://www.newforest.gov.uk/media/adobe/g/2/Milford_on_Sea_Cycle_Map.pdf

Elvis is coming to town!

Yep, Elvis is coming to join us at Milford on Sea Food Week. The Asian cousin of the King will be performing at Zaika Indian Restaurant on Tuesday 6th April 2010. Elvis will be in full voice, & hearing him singing with a touch of ‘Bhangra style’ just has to be seen. I have already booked & I am taking my wife to make up for not sending a valentine’s card. (I know it is a month away, but I always forget!) My guess is that you will never have seen an act like this before. Tickets are £35 for the show & a set course finest Indian meal. If you don’t want to miss out on this fun evening I would suggest booking now on 01590 643084.

Hit link below to see Indian Elvis in action! - http://www.indianelvis.com/

Jazz/Swing Evenings moves to South Lawns Hotel

Following the fire which ravaged Milford on Sea Tennis Club the Jazz/Swing Evening were once again looking for a new temporary venue. Since the closure of their normal home at the Community Centre, due to the rebuilding, the club had been accommodated by the Tennis Club. The good news is that South Lawn Hotel has come to the rescue & will be hosting the evenings for five months from January to May. The next Jazz/Swing evening, will be on 22nd January & features Simon Woodley on piano and vocals, plus the villages own resident Windmill Band. Everyone is welcome & the admission charge will be £3 at the door. Doors open at 8pm and the evening finishes at 10.30pm.

The Windmill Swing Band, is a saxophone and rhythm group, which meets every Friday in the Guide Hut in Milford on Sea. They always welcome new players, the only qualification is that they can read music. So if you fancy giving it a go just pop along.