Mole Men claim more territory

No sooner do I reveal the truth about the mole men living in their hole in Lymington Road, that they test my patience by now appearing with a new hole in Cliff Road! Their efforts to conceal their real activity by installing temporary traffic lights and a spurious Southern Gas Networks sign, doesn’t fool me for one minute. I suppose that these could be independent burrowing structures by different tribes of mole men, but my theory is that our resident family has tunnelled from one side of the village to the other. Considering the length that the tunnel must be, it is not inconceivable that they are building an underground town, bringing their in reinforcements in by the dark of night. Not that I am really that bothered, as even mole men need to live somewhere. Indeed I am sure if we were asked nicely I guess most of us would not object strongly. (Wouldn’t fancy their chances of getting permission from the Parish Council though). The likelihood is that they are under your house right now. Anyway, I hope I have not alarmed you with my revelation, as I am sure that they are quite friendly, although that may give a nasty nip if approached unexpectedly. (A bit like my wife really).

Footnote: Driving home tonight I spotted a sign saying that Sea Road is going to be closed for a few days from the 10th to 13th February. It seems the mole men are wasting no time in colonising the entire Milford on Sea sub terrain. I wonder if we asked them nicely whether they would put in an underground railway? Do you know anyone in the Milford on Sea Wildlife Group who speaks ‘mole’? Looks like we may need someone to negotiate on behalf of us surface dwellers.

On a related but separate note, I have to say that some readers of these news pages don’t always seem to take my stories seriously. After my story last week on the road mole works in Lymington Road, I then speculated that the holes are dug by mole men, who then disappear down the hole to live. My challenge to send in some photo’s showing any men actually working on the site was met with a response, but not quite as expected. Not being an expert on manual labour, I cannot be 100% sure, but I have to say, I do not think the photo’s sent in are genuine. On reflection, I am not sure it is a good idea to ask readers to send in pictures. If you would like to see the nonsense photos sent in, here you go...

click image to enlarge

The Germans are coming!

When we started out on creating Milford on Sea Food Week we never quite expected that it would draw in visitors from Germany! To explain, Rex Harrod is a former resident of Milford on Sea, and was at Milford school from 1959 to 1965, he now lives in Calle, near Meschede in Germany. (No idea why!) Well, Rex has been a reader of our News Bulletins for some time now, & on hearing about Milford on Sea Food Week he decided that this was just the excuse he needed to return to his old village. It has been several years since Rex was last here, so he will love our new custard road surface in the High Street. Unfortunately the Salad Bowl hasn’t been changed one bit. Taking full advantage of his trip to fill his stomach, he is also hoping to meet up with some ‘old faces’ he once knew. Rex has made the ‘schoolboy error’ of sending me some old photographs: one as he is now, one as a smoking milkman with a mullet from the seventies, and one of Milford football team from 1964. However, he then revealed that he wasn’t actually in the football team in 1964! I felt it would be unfair to embarrass him by publishing these pictures. But I then changed my mind, & you can see the pictures on the link at the bottom of this page. Not content with embarrassing himself, Rex has also given me a picture from 1964 which includes Chris Barrass, Ian Sims, Binksy Setchel, Geoff Woodford, John Cox, Bob Briad, Beefy Strong, Donald Reed, Spud Taylor, Digger Hodgson & Stuart Davies. Rex also recalls, Chris Hobby, Mervyn Cousins and David Gates, so watch out lads he knows where you live!

Strangely, Rex is now known as Rick. (I wonder if he changed it because Rex is a rude word in German?) Rex’s Rick’s family used to live in Orchard Cottage, right next to All Saint’s Church. If you knew Rex & would like to get in touch now let me know. Rex will be in the Smugglers Inn at 1pm on 11th April - Food Market Sunday, (he thinks he is going to The Crown & has no idea the name changed years ago), so put it in your diary to pop in & say hello. (I was going to ask him if he would wear a daft German moustache & lederhosen, so we all know who he is – However, from his photo I see he already has the daft moustache, so only the lederhosen to find.) Alternatively, if you did know him, but would never like to meet him again, might be best to hide during Food Week. Although I have never met Rex, (or Rick), I am going to go to the Smugglers & pretend we were at school together. Then I will claim that my heart is still broken after he stole my girlfriend & that my life has been ruined since that day. Can’t wait to see how he reacts when I break down sobbing in a packed bar, - and then ask him if he will take me back to live with him in Germany! Rex has promised to bring my wife a German beer when he comes over, and I wonder if Rick will bring a bottle as well? - Roll on Food Week!

Note: For anyone who cares: Calle and is near Meschede in the 'county' of Hochsauerlandkreis which is East of Dortmund, West of Kassel and North of Frankfurt. No wonder no one bothers to visit him with an address like that!

PS: Rick, Rex, or whatever he calls himself today, has said John Cox who now runs his own Radiology business in Australia may also be making his way back to Milford on Sea for Food Week. I am reliably informed that John was actually in the football team in 1964, unlike my new mate Rolf, as I now call him.

If you would like to see Rex’s old photos please visit: www.milfordonsea.org/news-rex

Newcomers get a warm welcome

On Saturday night anyone new to the village in the past year was invited to a free supper at the All Saints Church Hall. Prior to eating, the guests were able to attend a ‘mini exhibition’ of the clubs, associations & services in the village. Over 40 representatives met & greeted the newcomers, explaining the offerings they had for them. Not being new to the village I had wangled an invitation on the basis of being an organiser of Food Week. It wasn’t long before I was back into the patter I had once used at Petticoat Lane & the Ideal Home Exhibition many years ago. No one was going to get past without hearing about the special event the village will be enjoying in April. It was fun jumping out & scaring people, before explaining about this website, & our new village event just after Easter. It was enjoyable to hear how everyone I met was so delighted to be now living in the village & they were astounded at all that was available to participate in. Most places I know are wary of newcomers, but our special little place goes out of its way to welcome them with a warm heart. The ‘mini exhibition’ was followed with a sit down meal for the newcomers. Now at this stage I should have gone home, but I decided to put on an apron to pretend I was working with the girls in the kitchen. This enabled me to see what happened next. All of the guests were the welcomed by various notaries from the village, each giving a little speech. My favourite was Rev Barbara Jefferies, she had a warm smile & excellent sense of humour. As the meals were about to leave the kitchen, I disrobed from my apron (just in case I had to do any work) & left for home to check if my wife had noticed if I had gone out. This evening will leave a special memory for many who attended.  Thanks must go to the girls & guys in & around the kitchen who did a sterling job looking after everyone.  The event was predominately organised by one lady, - Ruth Bufton stand up & take a bow, you deserve it!

David Gates to Celebrate 25 years at The Butchers Shop

I am sure it only feels like yesterday to him, but David Gates is approaching twenty five years running a butchers shop in Milford on Sea. David opened ‘The Butchers Shop’ in Church Hill on the 5th April 1985 and has been trading from there ever since. Coincidentally, his anniversary falls within Milford on Sea Food Week. To share his celebration with his customers, and as a way to say thank you for all the years of trade, David will have a Food Week Offer of: ‘One pound of Sausages at 1985 price with every purchase of £15 or more.’ Over the years David has won many awards for his sausages, so his offer sounds good to me! Happy anniversary David.

Milford to Celebrate the Guiding Centenary

Anne Briad has been in touch, to let us know that 2010 is the Centenary year of the Girl Guide movement. In Milford on Sea the event is being marked with a reunion party for all present and former members of Milford's Guide, Brownie and Rainbow units. Anne would like to contact as many former members as she can, as soon as possible. To mark the Centenary year of Guiding there will be a reunion party on Saturday evening 16th October 2010 for anyone who has been associated with Guiding in Milford since the first company was formed in 1918, that is to say current and former Leaders, Young Leaders, Guides, Brownies, Rainbows, Trefoil Guild members and helpers. The organisers are also hoping to mount a display of photographs of Milford Guides and Guiding activities across the years, so as well as meeting up again with old friends there will be plenty to reminisce over during the evening. Anyone who would like to join in the occasion, or who has pictures of Milford Guides or Milford Guiding occasions which they would be prepared to lend should contact Janet Reed (nee Knight) on 01425 615522 (answer phone) or e-mail janlesreed@btinternet.com

Milford on Sea Food Week Keeps Growing!

Milford on Sea Food Week is a community event celebrating all that is great about food. The village will be alive with a wide variety of activities for everyone in the family. The website contains a full programme of daily events with a main family attraction being the Sunday Food Market. The Milford on Sea Food Market is an exciting event which spans the length of the High Street, & also covers the village green. The event runs from 10am to 3pm on Sunday 11th April 2010, and is the finale to the 70 events & activities that will be taking place on a daily basis throughout Milford on Sea Food Week. The Food Market has around thirty five different stalls, & is a great celebration of all that is great about local food. The stalls feature a tremendous variety of local produce, including chutneys & cooking sauces made in the village, jams, English cheeses, New Forest goats cheese, venison, smoked fish, pies, pasties, savoury treats, olives, and English wine. For the sweet toothed there are handmade chocolates from New Milton, double baked biscuits from Lymington, bags of sweets, candy floss, handmade fudge, exotic desserts & delicious cakes from Yum of Milford on Sea. No one visiting will go hungry, as the market offers hot snacks like chicken tikka, paella, hog roast, and sweet or savoury hot crepes. The market even has a Children’s Pottery Experience, food related ceramic pottery, & contemporary local paintings.

For the ‘green visitors’, The New Forest Transition Group have a seedling exchange, and the New Forest Park Authority will have a stand discussing Food Miles & the New Forest Marque. There will also be presentations for the local schools ‘Kids Egg Painting Competition’, the village ‘Best Breakfast Competition’ & the prize winner’s draw for the ‘Scrummy Food Raffle’. To keep everyone entertained there is also a Recipe Book Swap for everyone to join in with, and The New Forest Plonkers will be providing live music in their unique ‘agricultural’ style.

We will also have lots of our village shops opening especially for the day, providing fresh fruit & vegetables, fresh flowers, delicatessen counter, a Food in Art Exhibition, gifts for the home, local art and beauty treatments, you can even go back to your childhood in the Milford Models Shop! Plus of course, the village’s tea shops & pubs offer full English breakfasts, Sunday roast dinners, snacks, Danish pastries, cakes, afternoon teas and continental coffee’s. With so much happening this really is a day not to miss!

Milford on Sea Food Week itself runs from the Bank Holiday Monday 5th April until Sunday 11th April 2010 and has daily dining offers & themed events in all restaurants & cafes, cookery experiences & demonstrations, educational events & talks, children’s fun cooking competitions, & the chance to buy local produce at our very own Food Market on the closing Sunday. Over 70 individual events are already planned throughout the week which runs every day from Easter Bank Holiday Monday through to the following Sunday every year. Don’t miss a thing, mark it out in your diary now!

Please visit the Milford on Sea Food Week website to find out more: www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/food-market

Lymington Road Slalom

It appears the invisible mole men from 'Southern Gas Networks' have appeared in the village. Their hobby is to dig holes that cut roads in half, & then to disappear. Having passed through several times, I have yet to see any mole men working. Some may assume that they have left the site, I however have another theory, - they live down the hole. I suspect they only come out at night only to replace the batteries in the temporary traffic lights, or to pop down to The Smugglers. The regular traffic queues remind me of my birthplace in London, but without the muggers. If anyone see’s the mole men working in Lymington Road, please send in a pictures, as I won’t believe you otherwise!

Some great images of Milford on Sea

Surfing the web recently I came across a nice collection of creative photographs of Milford on Sea. The photographer is Steve Elson, & having introduced ourselves he has kindly given us permission to add some of his shots to our website. Whilst we have Milford on Sea Food Week to sort out first, I thought you might like to take a look at some of his work now. To view Steve’s Milford on Sea picture gallery please click this link: www.picturesofengland.com/user/fotoboy/pictures/1//England/Hampshire/Milford_on_Sea

Braxton Gardens reopening with Off License & Farmers Market

When Braxton Gardens reopens on Monday 1st February, they will be licensed, and offering a fully stocked Wine & Beer Shop. The shop will feature a comprehensive selection of over 50 fine wines, champagne and beer, all with local free home or office delivery. Braxton not only has its famous David Austin Rose Gardens, but also offers a café serving fresh coffee, premium teas, cakes and light lunches. They will be open from 9am for seven days a week.

The New Forest Producers Market will also have a new home at Braxton Gardens in Milford on Sea from Saturday 6th March (9am to 3pm). The Braxton Gardens Farmers Market will run on the First Saturday of Every Month, with additional markets on selected Tuesdays (3pm to 7pm) during the summer season. The farmers market will sell fresh and seasonal New Forest Marque local produce, direct from the farmers and small holders of the New Forest. The stalls will include honey, bread, cakes, eggs, wool, beef, local game, pork and bacon, cheese, vegetables, specialist plants and much more. They are a great opportunity to meet producers and find out about your local food. You can view the entire programme of Farmers Markets on the following link. Braxton Gardens Farmers Marker Calendar: www.milfordonsea.org/farmers-market-calendar

Wicked Smokers Punished

Whist my businesses offices are not in Milford on Sea, there is a tenuous link to this story because I do live in the village. More importantly, I thought you might be amused by my recent correspondence to our landlords about our office, which is in a building called The Hub.

LETTER:

Not sure who is responsible for the new ‘smoking shelter’, so I would grateful if you could pass this on to them please.

To whom it may concern.

I have just attempted to take a smoke outside Stalag Hub. It is now an interesting experience sitting in wet clothes attempting to carry on with my work. Whilst I appreciate you do not have control of the weather, (you don’t do you?), you could make my working life a little less hassle. How about a shelter within a reasonable distance of an entrance from our office block? I have to let you know that your new smoking shelter is not my best friend. Life is now a bit tricky when a wicked working smoker needs a fix & it must be disappointing for you to hear that your covert attempt to get me fit is not appreciated. There was a day when I would appreciate a quick sprint to get somewhere, but today I prefer a gentle stroll. It is a shame that the smoking shelter is a lifetime away & completely inaccessible without braving the elements. I do recognise the undoubted amusement that the smoking expeditions bring to all watching from the windows, as smokers of various shapes & sizes attempt to dodge the rain at speed, perhaps the humour levels could be raised by adding some grease to the steps or pavements?, then everyone can watch the addicted fall over – always a funny one. In sunnier times I tested a theory & it proved to be true that I could light a cigarette on leaving the door & finish it by the time I reached the shelter. Having arrived it seemed a shame not to stay a while, so I had another one. After a chat, it is time for the return journey, & a last cigarette. So ‘three’ when I normally would have had ‘one’. Did you know that you are actually increasing the carbon footprint of The Hub now. (I guess this was not you intention?) Rumour has it that our own smoking area was removed because someone (who has now left) complained that they could smell faint traces of smoke in their office? Quite a feat, as all of the buildings windows are sealed, they must therefore be applauded for their ultra sensitive nostrils – wherever they are now.

I have even been advised by ‘an official’, that smoking outside our back door, (where the original ‘official’ smoking bin was up until a few weeks ago!) is now a ‘Health & Safety’ risk, as I pointed out to him, I believe this to be complete nonsense. We all know that ‘Health & Safety’ rules can at times be ridiculous, but I am sure that even these regulations cannot meet these depths of ludicrousness. Unsurprisingly, my research was unable to identify which section of the ‘Health & Safety Act’ that was now being contravened. Anyway, regulatory nonsense aside, what is the ‘depth’ of the newly invented ‘building smoking exclusion zone’?, as I can spot no signs. To help us unfortunates, perhaps we could have a red line, two foot ditch, or even an electric fence around the building, which would indicate to us evil smokers where we are being a dangerous threat to mankind & where we are reluctantly acceptable. As smoke control is the aim, wind direction & speed can obviously make life complicated for the rule makers with this one, so will the ‘building smoking exclusion zones depth’ expand and contract based on the wind direction or speed? If so, a wind sock or electronic indicator on the side of the building would be appreciated. Another idea may be to have heat or smoke sensitive sensors on all building walls with search lights & alarms to let us all know when someone deviates into the no go area. It might also be fun if the security guys have paint guns to splat the offenders. I quite like this idea. As I expect to be paint covered most of the time, can I choose the paint colours please?

Perhaps we could protect people further by sinking the new shelter into a bunker thirty feet underground, then no one working or visiting here will be offended by the sight of these unfortunate nicotine stained people. No smokers in our office were asked their opinions before the changes were made, therefore I hope my following suggestions are also implemented without consultation. In the pursuit of fairness I believe we should now eradicate all evil from The Hub. We could start will removing all bad substances, starting with coffee & tea due to the addictive nature of caffeine. Also calories are a problem in managing weight, so The Aviators Café should be replaced totally with a Tofu & Prune Bar.

PS: At times I can smell fruit fumes in my office, can all fruit be banned from all offices as well please.

PPS: You may consider reading this a waste of your time, but I am only getting my own back for the time you waste of my team as they continually venture daily to the ‘smoking den of iniquity’ & back. Must go now, there is a break in the rain & I need a fag.

DL

Chairman

Read more stuff: http://www.milfordonsea.org/

Verveine Restaurant Open for Valentine’s Day

Milford on Sea is to welcome its latest quality restaurant when they open on 12th February, in fact they are taking booking now if you want to be one of the first to dine there. Based On the site of Monks Fishmongers, Verveine Fishmarket Restaurant is a new contemporary dining venue in the heart of Milford on Sea village. Having seen the menu, which features fresh local produce cooked in imaginative ways, the impression is one of exciting, quality food served at affordable prices. The menu consists of personal touches like freshly smoked bacon from their own in-house smokery, homemade daily baked fresh bread, plus homemade pasta, ice cream and sorbets. The idea is to use ingredients from our local doorstep, whether its wild bass from The Solent, crab and lobster from Lymington, local cheeses from Sway or pheasants from a local shoot in the New Forest. The menu is Modern British cuisine, featuring fish and seafood, complimented with contemporary meat & pasta dishes. Verveine is a concept born from the ideas of Stacey Crouch and David Wykes, and they are making every effort to make dining at Verveine a special experience, whether you are visiting for a light lunch of home smoked scallops Maryland or the tasting menu “From our shores”. The decor in the new restaurant looks great & is designed to create a friendly & relaxed informal atmosphere.

Thankfully Milford on Sea village hasn’t lost its traditional fishmongers. The new Verveine Fishmarket sits in front of the restaurant, and still supplies the local villagers & of course now, the restaurant menu. We also hear that there are future plans for a ‘Fish Cookery School’, (this is to train people - not fish, to cook seafood meals), now that sounds a great idea! If you fancy making a dining booking now, you can call Verveine on 01590 642176. You can also visit their new restaurant on the following link: http://www.verveine.co.uk/

New Belle Epoque Wine Bar & Cafe has opening date

The transformation of Attic Attack (& before that Clarkes Shoe shop), in Milford on Sea High Street is reaching completion & we understand the new wine bar cafe with be opening on Wednesday 3rd February. 

As well as taking on a new function the building will also carry the new name ‘Belle Opoque’, which we have translated to mean something like ‘Beautiful time’. The ‘cafe food’ element of the plan with arrive around Easter, when the kitchens are expected to be completed. He menu includes a glass of champagne & smoked salmon for £5, and prosseco & smoked salmon, cheese or cured ham for £4. 

There are also plans to develop the food offering to included a tapas bar. Having heard of a sneak preview of the interior we understand that it is Mike’s version of ‘shabby chic’, with an eclectic mix of aged furniture & walls adorned with ‘nic-knacks’. A significant range of books & paperbacks will be also be available to buy with the proceeds going to the British Legion. 

The bar’s lounge will have papers & magazines to read, & people will be able to enjoy a relaxing glass of wine, or coffee & other hot drinks on visits. The new opening hours will be 8am to 8pm Wednesday to Sunday.

There will also be an off license inside called ‘Vine Associates’, which will be run by John James. The off license will also open Wednesday to Sunday with 12 noon to 8pm opening hours.