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Saturday 12 June 2010

Free parking going at last!

Congratulations must go to our local New Forest District Council on their recent decision to remove the current free winter parking in the Lymington Quay car park from the 1st November to the end of February.

Milford on Sea beach & cliff car parks have not been mentioned, but it would be remiss of them not to include us as well. How they have previously missed this opportunity to increase revenue in this way is not explained, but we are pleased that they have got there in the end. Perhaps in the past, car parking charges did not apply during this period to encourage people to visit the village? The problem with this, is that it results in more people visiting & spending money, but of course these additional people can make the village look untidy.

Our village centre car park already happily charges all year round and it is clever how all of the village pay machines do not give change, which we are pleased to say squeezes extra cash from people who have not arrived with the correct coinage. To ensure that this over payment is a regular occurrence I love the way they cleverly apply different charges in various car park just to ensure that you can’t remember which change to bring. I particularly commend the wag at the council who included the statement on the pay machine instructions which says; ‘Overpayment Accepted’, that’s funny, very funny. Giving official permission to overpay could perhaps also be included on council tax & utility bills then we can all make our own extra little donations on a more regular basis.

It is unclear whether our glorious district councillors have yet spotted that we still have some free parking remaining in the High Street & we now look forward to the introduction of parking bay machines & more signs to enhance the quaint character of our village.

Some local motorists may say that they already pay road tax, fuel duty & council tax, but they are missing the point, just because you pay to drive, you shouldn’t expect to also be able to enjoy the places you visit. The council will now be able to derive additional benefits should they be successful in ensuring people avoid the village, as there are substantial additional hidden savings to be made in the reduction of road maintenance & cleaning costs.

Some may ask why we charge for parking in the village centre car park when people want to pop in to visit the shops. The giants of Tesco & the like mistakenly provide free parking because they believe that charging is a significant deterrent to shoppers, little do they know that our council know a lot more than they do. In my years of running multimillion pound businesses I obviously missed out on the benefits to be made by making it difficult for customers to buy from us.

Disappointingly, the ‘park & ride’ plan we never suggested has been shelved as the bus company could not afford the parking charges to allow people to get on & off. Our further suggestion of a ‘roulette park & ride’, where everyone had to jump on & off a moving bus, has also unfortunately been rejected by our friends at ‘health & safety’.

To help the council coffers Milford on Sea Food Week did it’s bit by bringing crowds into the village during a normally quiet April week. Thankfully our local council did not just accept the additional car parking income, but also supplied a team of traffic wardens to ensure that any parking offenders got a parking ticket. We of course also paid for the road to be closed for the Food Market. We are not sure how much extra the council made from the event but with a bit of luck it was more than the donation that Food Week made to the Community Centre.

When I was explaining the car park situation to my wife she wondered what would happen when the village is full of empty shops & the council have lost the council tax revenue paid by the shopkeepers. I of course have a simple solution, they can then double the car parking charges. The slow death of traditional High Street’s is often blamed on the supermarkets, but my wife reckons the council are actually doing a better job of getting rid of independent shopkeepers than the ‘big boys’.

A council spokesman was quoted in the Daily Echo as saying: “We’re looking at making charges applicable throughout the year because we are maintaining the car parks throughout the winter and are not receiving any income.” My wife suspects that ‘Mr council spokesman’ may be using maintenance as a bit of a red herring. I am guessing that if my wife could be bothered to have a conversation with the councillors responsible for this decision she would say; “No mate, your increase in revenue is not as important as the survival of our village centre’. If he had any sense he would not argue with her & just do as she says, I have many bruises to prove not agreeing is both futile & often painful. Just a thought, can someone tell me what significant ‘maintenance’ there is for a car park?! How about we maintain the car park? We have around 40 shops, if each contributed five pounds a week that would raise two hundred pounds weekly, and I reckon we could remove any weeds & keep the white lines lovely for that amount. My wife has suggested ‘Free two hour parking permits for residents’ to make it as easy as possible for everyone to support our village shops, but what would she know, she’s just a girl who can’t park properly anyway. Have you any idea how many extra people would shop in the village with that plan, and the additional wear & tear this would cause to our pavements!

Some cynics may say that the council now thinks of itself as a business, and may have forgotten that they are public servants, there to provide and support services for the community. Fortunately the district councillors that voted for this decision appear not to have taken into account the livelihood of our local shops, as of course a few extra quid in the councils pocket is much more important. It is always a pleasure to see our council demonstrate their commercial acumen and we can only applaud their ability to focus on raising revenue to fund critical projects like the numerous twelve foot signs along the seafront warning us that there is no lifeguard & that getting in the sea may make you wet, resurfacing the High Street in a nice sandy colour and spending one hundred & forty five thousand pounds on an essential luxury toilet block refurbishment in Keyhaven car park.

Whilst it is gratifying to witness the council maximising revenue through stealth taxes, I do not personally think these additional car parking charges go far enough. So I have another idea. It seems a little unfair that some people use the village centre pavements a bit more than others, so I think anyone stopping or walking slower than two miles an hour on the pavement should incur a charge of £1 per minute. To save costs, the collection can be made by the shop keepers as they can easily spot offenders, & of course the council are helping to ensure they are not wasting their time serving customers by keeping drivers out of the village.

An insider tells me of further council plans afoot to make the main road in & out of Milford on Sea a Toll Road, and also to tarmac the village green to make way for an industrial incinerator where can all empty our own rubbish bins. The removal of refuse collection lorries visiting the village will reduce carbon emissions & little old Milford can really do its bit to save the planet. Now all we need is a plan of what to do with the old shops once the council has emptied them.

1 comment:

  1. My wife and I plus our dog will be visiting Milford for a weeks holiday from the 17th can you advise your council of our impending visit so that they may increase your parking charges, as we are always in favour of helping the economy. By the way , we have a rather large vehicle, will that incur a surcharge? Keep smiling, K and J ( and the dog )

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