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Tuesday, 15 July 2014

Sturt Pond Monster

Rumours have been circulating the village for the past few months of strange goings on at the beginning of Hurst Spit. Something large and unexplained has been lurking in the waters of Sturt Pond and concern has been growing that local wildlife and even small dogs might be in danger. 

click image to enlarge
Jon, an eagle eyed reader of these pages, has used his sharp camera skills to capture this amazing picture of a monster.

Under the cover of darkness, we have been fortunate to obtain an exclusive interview with the monster, who wishes to be called Jock The Monster.

It appears that Jock is the brother of the Loch Ness Monster. Apparently, the monster family were become quite concerned that the 'Yes' vote may win the Scottish Independence Referendum, as they see themselves very much as 'British Monsters'. 

Whilst delighted to be associated with Scotland, and with no intention to leave on-mass, the monster family felt it would be wise to spread themselves across Britain to ensure that they are seen as a British rather than exclusively 'Scottish'. 

Sturt Pond was their first choice due to the fun they plan to have with people trying to see them from the Bird Hide, plus the cliffs of the Isle of Wight has the feel of a Scottish mountain range. Jock The Monster also told me that other members of the family are looking for suitable places to set up home in Cardiff, Belfast, Manchester and Wolverhampton.

In a thick Highland accent, Jock The Monster said; "Their is no need for anyone to be concerned for safety as I only eat plankton and the occasional Mars Bar, or perhaps a Snickers."

Local shop owners were pleased to hear that Jock will be increasing their sales of Mars & Snickers, and the Milford Conservation Volunteers did not make a statement saying; "We look forward to Jock living in harmony with his new surroundings. We are slightly surprised for the village to now have its own monster, but all wildlife is welcome here."

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