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Christmas Dining in Milford on Sea

11 February 2012

There is an Elephant in the Village


Local Milford on Sea musician, Alex Hall, has launched a new single called 'Boom boom boom', under the stage name of ‘Elephant’.  Having listened to the track a few times now I have to say it is an enjoyably catchy number that just makes you want to smile.

You can hear the track below.  If you like it, the track is available online as a ‘name your price’ download, in other words you just pay what you like for it.

The accompanying video for Alex’s latest track, ‘Boom, Boom, Boom’, was filmed in the village, with the help of another village resident, Leighton Allen.


The video features The Smugglers Inn, Mark at The Village News, a brief visit to The Village Charity Shop (Where a lady customer looks quite taken aback!) and a wander along the High Street to New Seasons Florists.

Alex has grown up in Milford on Sea and is very proud of the village and the community he is part of.  Today he is a self-produced independent singer songwriter and naturally hopes his new track is enjoyed by many people.  He does shows around the UK and can even be occasionally found busking in Lymington.

To hear Alex’s (As ‘Elephant’) latest track please click here

To buy the track: please click here 

To visit Elephant's Facebook Page: please click here

Food Week Programme Announced


The full seven day programme for Milford on Sea Food Week has now been announced, you can view each day’s activities on the link at the bottom of this article.

A Free printed programme will also be available in the village shops from the end of February.  Tickets are also now on sale for all major events in the online ticket office.

Food Week is a celebration about local food, with all corners of the community taking part.  The event is designed to for people to have a lot of fun, and at the same time establish Milford on Sea as a ‘Foodie Destination’, which will create long-term sustainability for the village centre shops and its restaurants, for the benefit of local residents and visitors alike.

From Easter Bank Holiday Monday Milford on Sea Food Week celebrates all that is great about food for an entire seven days.  This New Forest seaside village is blessed with great places to eat and surrounded by quality local producers, so what better way to celebrate this, than to have an entire week dedicated to the joys of food!

Everyone at every age is welcome, and Milford on Sea Food Week has over 100 activities including: Themed Dining Evenings, Professional Cookery Theatre, Celebrity Shows, Cooking Demonstrations, Educational Talks, Film Shows, Cookery Competitions, Wine Tastings, Dining Offers, Kid's Events & a large Sunday Food Market, all are organised by local organisations, clubs, businesses and individuals.  A Programme detailing all of the events is on sale in the village shops.

This year’s Food Week celebrity shows include ‘An Evening with Tom Kerridge’, a two star Michelin chef and TV personality, a ‘Comedy & Cake Night’ starring TV & radio comedian Jo Caulfield and the ever popular ‘Big Cook Off’ between top chefs in the local area. The ‘Great Dining Bus’ is also taking to the road, transporting diners to eat a different course in four village restaurants.  Now that really is a dining experience with a difference!  Tickets for the large events are available from the online ‘Food Week Ticket Office’ as well as in the village.

Milford on Sea is fast becoming recognised as the South coast’s ‘Foodie Heaven by the Sea!’. This small seaside village boasts over twenty places to eat, offering everything from fine dining to boutique cafés. It is also a vibrant village with an extremely active community spirit, and is home to the ‘Hampshire Restaurant of the Year’ and ‘Hampshire Chef of the Year’.

All of the village restaurants are running themed evenings & special offers throughout the week.  There is also a full programme of events to entertain the kid’s on half-term holiday. The professional Cookery Theatre provides a varied programme of events and activities that should excite every ‘foodie’.

On the final Sunday, the Food Market takes centre stage with over 50 stalls on the village green & along the High Street.  Local producers from throughout the New Forest will be selling tasty treats, and various types of hot food will be available.  You can also visit the many village shops that will be open.  Last year over 6000 people attended the Food Market, and this year all visitors will be entertained by a jazz quartet and The Milford Strummers as they shop.

Our event is truly ‘By the community, for the community’.


To view the Full Food Week Programme, please click link: www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/whats-on



New Cookery School in Village

Local chef, Christian Rivron, has open a new Cookery School in Milford on Sea.  The Granary Kitchen is in Newlands Manor Farm, and the first solo business venture for this award winning chef.  Christian is now bringing his skills from the kitchen to the classroom by offering a programme of courses, including subjects such as: Deserts & Pastries, Meat, Fish & Shellfish, Bread Baking, Vegetarian Meals and Soup, Bread & Dressings. (All can be viewed and booked on The Granary website.)

Christian has designed The Granary Kitchen Cookery School to mimic the relaxed feeling of cooking in your own home.  Christian aims to use the incredible range of fresh local & seasonal produce available throughout the New Forest, Hampshire and Dorset to their full potential.  The Granary Kitchen has also become a member of the New Forest Marque.

Starting the day with a coffee on the sofa, participants will then cooking a variety of dishes in a homely kitchen, before enjoying the prepared meal around the dining table.

All standards of cooks are welcome, from the novice gaining confidence in cooking, to an experienced cook looking to broaden their knowledge of different produce and techniques.  All ‘students’ help out and get a ‘hands on’ experience using easy to follow & understandable instructions.  The day is relaxed and informal as you learn new skills, techniques & tips from the professional world of cooking.  The cookery school aims to increase your interest in cooking & food, and to encourage people to try something different as they broaden their knowledge and experience for cooking at home.  At the end of the course there are take away recipe card for all dishes made on the day.

Already in the village we have the excellent Cookery Day’s offered by Dave Wykes, Hampshire Chef of the Year at Verveine.  Dave provides an fine insight into both the wonders of fish and his extraordinarily creative culinary mind.  Local people are now fortunate to have yet another opportunity to see inside the world of another professional chef.

The Granary Kitchen also offers Private Dining, where Christian can cook for you in your own home.  How impressive would that be having a professional chef cooking for your dinner party.  I might even consider giving my wife a night off!


You can contact Christian on: 01590 673040 or at: christian@thegranarykitchen.com

www.verveine.co.uk

Piers is a National Champion


click image to enlarge
Milford on Sea now has a National hockey champion living in the village. Piers Everleigh was part of the winning Havant Hockey Club team at the end of January.  (Piers is the son of Garry Everleigh, local resident, forager and operator of Puffin Cruises in Lymington.)

The U16 Havant Hockey Club team played and won all six games in the National Indoor Championship tournament at Aldersley Stadium, Wolverhampton 21st/22nd January 2012.  A very successful weekend saw the lads of U16 Havant Hockey Club team become the only team in the two pools to win all of their pool matches.  In the semi-final the Havant boys beat Canterbury, who are the reigning National Champions. The final was against Ashmoor Hockey Club (National Schools Indoor Champions) with Havant running out 2-1 winners to become crowned U16 Boys Clubs National Indoor Champions.

Piers also plays for the County and  SE England Wessex Leopards. Nice one Piers!

Havant Hockey Club Team: Piers Eveleigh, Laurie Bowden, JJ Brown, Joe Budgen, Josh Darlington, David Jones, Tom Lavery, Ethan Levy, Robbie Mansell, Ollie Nail, Tom Penlington. Coach: David Faulkner.

03 February 2012

Garry forages with The Hungry Sailors

A number of you may have seen local Milford on Sea resident, Garry Eveleigh, on afternoon TV on Thursday 26th January.  Garry is a well know character across the New Forest being both a forager and operator of Puffin Cruise in Lymington.  He is also known as 'The Wild Cook' and he forages for ingredients for many of his own recipes.  Not being busy enough!, he also forages for the kitchens at the impressive new restaurant/hotel The Pig in Brockenhurst, as well as providing foraging walks for guests at the luxury Limewood Hotel, in Lyndhurst in the heart of the New Forest.

Garry’s recent TV appearance was on the current ITV series of the ‘The Hungry Sailors’.  The show features an old friend of the village, Dick Strawbridge.  Dick was the headline celebrity at Milford on Sea Food Week in 2011, where he enthralled an audience of around 150 in his show; ‘An Evening with Dick Strawbridge’.  During the show Dick cooked a delicious full meal, interspersed with witty stories and anecdotes.  His skills in the kitchen are pretty well known since he made the final of the BBC series Celebrity Master Chef.

In ‘The Hungry Sailors’, Dick is joined by his son James on a sailing voyage around the south coast of Britain. James himself appears a decent cook, as well as a treat for the lady viewers. (I feel a bit odd having just written that!) 

During the programme the guys stop to meet local producers an interesting people, before cooking a meal from what they discover. (Sadly they used Lymington Harbour, rather than coming into Keyhaven.)  Garry took them to Hurst Spit where they foraged mainly for seaweeds such as samphire, laver weed, sea beet and sea purslane.  He also has a friend with a license to forage for gulls eggs.  Foraging complete, they set up a stove and using the ingredients found, cooked and tucked into a ‘Gull's Egg Tortilla’ on the water edge.

Garry will be demonstrating the type of wild edible food he collects, with various of his cooked creations, during this year’s Milford on Sea Food Week.  Come along to meet him, we can guarantee you will find out lots about the edible free fare only a short distance from your door.

To find out more about The Hungry Sailors’ TV Show, which is on ITV at 4pm, please hit the link below:
www.itv.com/food/programmes/hungry-sailors

You can also visit Garry's website here: www.garryeveleigh.com 

Gruffalo at the Library

As well as providing the services normally associated with a library, our own village establishment of books, provide a lot more in Milford on Sea.  As many rural and village location lose their libraries, it is good to see ours go from strength to strength.  The team have even set up a Facebook page which can be reached using the link at the end of this article.

Toddlertime already keeps kid’s entertained on the first Friday of the month, and on 16th February there will be an afternoon of free ‘Gruffalo fun and games’ for the village little ones.  Not forgetting the adults, Painting and Jewellery Workshops days are also planned in the diary. 

I guess like most people, I was unaware that National Love Library Day is on 4th February.  Should you find yourself in the village between 10am to 12noon it may be worth popping in, as there will be cakes on sale from the WI and a free prize draw.  The kids (over 4) are not forgotten either, as they will be enjoying a ‘Bear Hut’ at 11.30am.  Why not go along?

To see what’s on at the library, please visit:

Do you enjoy the guitar?

Like me, I suspect many of you can remember you parents or grandparents telling you about The Four Tops and Mungo Jerry.  Well, Phil Braithwaite has performed along such bands and he will be visiting Milford on Sea village later this month.

Phil is a leading session guitarist and teacher, and he will be ‘In Session’ providing the opportunity to listen to, and learn from, an expert musician.  This event is a chance for guitarists of all ages and abilities to learn from a master and even if you can't strum a single chord, you're welcome to come along and listen. 

Tickets are £7.50 and include some refreshments, abd the session takes place at 7.30pm on Saturday 25th February 2012 in the Guide Hut.

Tickets are available from Total Voice, email info@totalvoice.co.uk or call 07824 966912 or email richard@milfordstrummers.co.uk

26 January 2012

Village Voice Useful Numbers

Sue from the Village Voice has been in touch to say she has had a bad day at the office!  To explain; one column on the useful numbers page in the latest edition of The Village Voice has slipped slightly, so a lot of the numbers are incorrect. (Desmond Swayne cannot be reached by dialling 999!)

She is busy beating herself up for the error, and sends her apologies to all readers.  Normal service will be resumed in the next edition!

Seven great days for ‘Foodies’!

Don't miss Milford on Sea Food Week: 9th April to 15th April 2012

Milford on Sea is fast becoming recognised as the South coast’s ‘Foodie Heaven by the Sea!’. This small seaside village boasts over twenty places to eat, offering everything from fine dining to boutique cafés. It is also a vibrant village with an extremely active community spirit, and is home to the ‘Hampshire Restaurant of the Year’ and ‘Hampshire Chef of the Year’.

Food Week is a celebration about local food, with all corners of the community taking part.  The event is designed to for people to have a lot of fun, and at the same time establish Milford on Sea as a ‘Foodie Destination’, which will create long-term sustainability for the village centre shops and its restaurants, for the benefit of local residents and visitors alike.

From Easter Bank Holiday Monday Milford on Sea Food Week celebrates all that is great about food for an entire seven days.  This New Forest seaside village is blessed with great places to eat and surrounded by quality local producers, so what better way to celebrate this, than to have an entire week dedicated to the joys of food!

Everyone at every age is welcome, and Milford on Sea Food Week has over 100 activities including: Themed Dining Evenings, Professional Cookery Theatre, Celebrity Shows, Cooking Demonstrations, Educational Talks, Film Shows, Cookery Competitions, Wine Tastings, Dining Offers, Kid's Events & a large Sunday Food Market, all are organised by local organisations, clubs, businesses and individuals.  A Programme detailing all of the events will soon be on sale in the village shops.

This year’s Food Week celebrity shows include ‘An Evening with Tom Kerridge’, a two star Michelin chef and TV personality, a ‘Comedy & Cake Night’ starring TV & radio comedian Jo Caulfield and the ever popular ‘Big Cook Off’ between top chefs in the local area. The ‘Great Dining Bus’ is also taking to the road, transporting diners to eat a different course in four village restaurants.  Now that really is a dining experience with a difference!  Tickets for the large events are available from the online ‘Food Week Ticket Office’ as well as in the village.

All of the village restaurants are running themed evenings & special offers throughout the week.  There is also a full programme of events to entertain the kid’s on half-term holiday. The professional Cookery Theatre provides a varied programme of events and activities that should excite every ‘foodie’.

On the final Sunday, the Food Market takes centre stage with over 60 stalls on the village green & along the High Street.  Local producers from throughout the New Forest will be selling tasty treats, and various types of hot food will be available.  You can also visit the many village shops that will be open.  Last year over 6000 people attended the Food Market, and this year all visitors will be entertained by a jazz quartet as they shop.

Food Week is co-ordinated by a small dedicated group of volunteers who provide their expertise and time for free. We are also fortunate to have a generous group of sponsors & supporters. Any income generated by Food Week is only used to cover promotional costs, and no fees or expenses are taken by any of the Food Week organisers. Food Week is not a fundraising event, however it is ‘not for profit’ and we are delighted to support local charities from any profits that are made.

David Long one of the organising team said “Milford on Sea is a great place to eat and a fun place to visit, so we wanted to celebrate this with a series of varied food related events around the village for all locals & visitors to enjoy and learn.  Why not come & join in the fun!”

Our event is truly ‘By the community, for the community’.

To find out more please visit:

BUY YOUR TICKET TODAY!  To see tickets now on sale please visit:

New Seafront Houses Approved

A prime seafront site has been granted planning permission in Milford on Sea.  New Forest planners have approved that the old NHS care home site on the cliff top at Ravenhurst, Ravens Way, Milford on Sea can be developed as four detached luxury homes.

This former home for people with learning difficulties has been vacant for the last three years since the NHS Trust had moved the former residents to other premises in the District more suited to their present day needs.

The new development will be built by Pennyfarthing Homes with the existing dilapidated buildings on the site to be demolished to be replaced with four contemporary designed two-storey detached houses that will enjoy spectacular panoramic sea views of Christchurch Bay and the Isle of Wight.

This planning permission comes after an earlier appeal for 13 houses on the site was dismissed by a Government Inspector in November 2010.  That scheme was considered to have had adversely affected the setting of the nearby landmark building, ‘The White House’, a grade II listed building. In granting planning permission for the four modern seaside residences New Forest planners were satisfied that the revised proposal would preserve the setting of The White House and would maintain the spacious appearance of this cliff-top location.

The proposal generated a requirement for the provision of two affordable dwellings to be provided.  Normally the local authority would seek these to be provided on-site.  However Pennyfarthing have offered to provide 3 affordable family homes on one of their other sites at 29 Keyhaven Road in Milford-on-Sea, close to the village shops and facilities.  The New Forest District Council considered this a suitable offer.

Faster Broadband in Village

BT have announced that Milford on Sea had had an upgrade to make available download speeds of up to 20 megabits per second (Mbps) – more than double the speed previously available from BT.

Around 30,000 more homes and businesses in Hampshire have now benefited from access to faster broadband; Hartley Wintney, Alresford, Bransgore, Medstead, Twyford, Hook, Lee-on-Solent and Milford on Sea.

This investment in the copper network is in addition to BT’s £2.5 billion roll-out of fibre-based broadband, which will bring even faster speeds to around two-thirds of UK premises by the end of 2014.

14 January 2012

Don’t get nicked!

click image to enlarge
There I was, wandering down the High Street minding my own business, when I spotted an innocent car parked on what I understand is technically called the ‘funny paved island thing’ on the outer edge of the parking spaces outside of the Co-op.  I say, innocent, because I was under the impression that this was a legitimate parking space.  In fact, I am sure someone in a grown up position in village had told me that.  But true to form, I can’t remember who it was.

Well, the traffic warden who must have only recently passed by thought differently, and they had awarded the car with one of their special self-adhesive plastic wallets, containing a delightful parking ticket.  I then spotted a couple of police officers sitting in a car nearby, so I stopped for a chat.  They had also seen the ticket being awarded and thought it was probably a ‘traffic calming island’ rather than for parking.

I then decided I would wander to the Parish Council to see if I could clarify the situation.  However, I then couldn’t be bothered, and went for some tea and cake in the village instead.

So there you have it, no clarity on the parking situation and some badly researched useless information. (Up to par for these pages really.)  I guess the conclusion is, park at your peril!

Arts & Music Festival AGM


Everyone is invited to the Milford on Sea Arts & Music Festival  AGM next Wednesday (18th January) at 6pm in the Community Centre.

Feel free to come along if you are interested to hear how the festival is progressing.

If anyone wants to make any comments or representations please contact Sean below:
Tel: 01590 644777 | sean@hwsolicitors.com

New Writer’s Café

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If you are interested in writing there is now an informal gathering of village writers of all abilities in Inger-Lise’s Coffee Shop in the High Street, Milford on Sea every Tuesday afternoon.

The hour get together of the ‘Writer’s Café’ is from 3.30pm to 4.30pm and provides an opportunity to meet other writers, share information and basically enjoy a social get together for the price of a cuppa. (and if you are in the mood, perhaps a slice of cake!)

The organiser, Cate Sweeney said “Sometimes we do a brief exercise or share a short piece we’ve written, but mostly it’s a social thing, it gets us writers out!  Everyone is welcome to just come along, and it’s free, too!”

Cate is a published author, who also runs some formal writing courses at the Community Centre, there are a few places left if you are be interested.

If you would like to contact Cate her e-mail is below, or of course just pop along to Inger-Lise’s Coffee Shop any Tuesday afternoon.

www.wordaction.co.uk

Story of Bay Trees

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A few months ago Sarah & Mark Clayson took over The Bay Trees B&B in Milford on Sea High Street.  They are very keen to be involved in village life and Sarah is already involved in Food Week this year.

They are also very interested to learn about the history of The Bay Trees building and no doubt the many stories that people have.  So far they have heard about flooding in Milford on Sea, the buildings various reincarnations of restaurant, café & cake shop, and now of course it current life as a bed & breakfast.

Sarah & Mark would love to build up a photographic portfolio of stories and memories in relation to The Bay Trees formally known as Bridge House.  They have already joined the impressively informative Milford on Sea Historical Society, who I am sure can provide a lot of history for them.

If you have any personal or village stories to share, or photographs that you are willing to lend (they can to scan them and give back the originals) they would both be very grateful.

Please contact Sarah on:
01590 642186 | sarah.clayson@btinternet.com, or just call in when you are passing.

Chest Freezer Anyone?

The volunteer cooks at the Community Centre are in need of a chest freezer.  The valiant kitchen team provide the catering for many events in the Community Centre throughout the year, and it would really help them out if they had further storage for frozen food.

I did think I had this one sorted myself.  I was going to offer the services of a few people I know in the village, but then I realised they were after a 'chest freezer' and not an 'old geezer'.

Should you have a chest freezer you no longer require, or are feeling particularly generous and fancy sponsoring one, please contact Sue Whitlock on:
01590 643404 or susan@hwsolicitors.com


Singing Superstars!

Young singers in the village have an opportunity to join in a singing workshop run by professional singing teacher, Christine Mulgrew, who all runs the successful Total Voice Choir in the village.

The workshop will focus on singing skills, performing on stage, using a microphone and singing in harmony.  It sounds like it will be a bit of fun and likely to sell out quickly.

The workshop is on Saturday 4th February at the Guide Hut.  The cost is £20 and you can book by contacting Christine on:
0845 900 5929 or info@totalvoice.co.uk

www.totalvoice.co.uk

Charity Shop Helpers

Our busy and vibrant Village Charity Shop is looking for volunteers to do a few hours helping out serving in the shop.  It is a great place to meet people and have a good time.

Cover is required on regular or occasional basis throughout the year. 

Also, Shop Manager, Judit is taking a well deserved holiday for a couple of weeks in February and some cover is still needed for parts of those weeks.

If you can lend a hand please contact: Sue Whitlock on:
01590 643404 or susan@hwsolicitors.com

06 January 2012

Go on, get involved!

The events and activities for the Food Week programme are now almost complete. However it is not too late to get involved if you would like to.

If you have a cooking skill you would like to demonstrate, or are a organisation, club or society who would like to get involved in any way, please just drop me a line at the e-mail address below.

The Food Week Ticket Office is now open and contains lots of the main events we are running during Food Week.

If you fancy taking a look please just hit the ‘Ticket Office link’ on the Food Week website below.  Best to get your tickets before the events sell out.

david@milfordonsea.org

Local Artist in London Exhibition

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Local pastel artist Barbara Rousseau has had her painting of a “Storm over Dubrovnik” accepted for exhibition at the prestigious Mall Galleries in London from 14th to 25th February 2012 by the Pastel Society. Her work was selected for exhibition from amongst hundreds of entries.

Barbara has previously won the Society of All Artists (SAA) Artist of the Year competition in 2006, however she looks on this accolade by fellow pastelists to exhibit in London as the pinnacle of her career.

Barbara will be exhibiting more of her work at Exbury Gardens with the “Four Seasons Art Group” from 9th April to 9th June 2012.

Be a Food Week Sponsor

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To cover the cost of advertising for Milford on Sea Food Week we are delighted if anyone decides to become one of our sponsors.

This year we are offering even more for your money, with your sponsor advert appearing in 15,000 free programme which we will be delivering to homes in Milford on Sea, Barton, Lymington plus surrounding areas across the New Forest.

Your advert also appears on the Food Week website, and can be seen all year round at:

Prices are: Baby Silver £50 | Silver £75 | Gold £150

If you would like to support us with our community event please just drop me an e-mail at:
david@milfordonsea.org

http://www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/
Bank Holiday Monday 9th April to Sunday 15th April 2012

New Carnival Route

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We have received the letter below from Sean Reeves, with the arrangement details for the Milford on Sea Carnival in August 2012.

The committee have worked very hard to make it easy to join in, so if you have a club, organisation, business or even just a group of friends, why not become part of the carnival procession this year?

---------------------------------------------------
I am a member of the Milford on Sea Village Community Committee and as I am sure you are aware we did not to organise the procession this year. I have (with the assistance of four other volunteers) created a sub-committee whose specific remit is to revitalise the procession for the Milford-on-Sea August Carnival Procession 2012.

As a sub-committee we have opted for a smaller provisional route and a copy of the proposed route is enclosed for your information. This is of course is subject to the number of entrants and the council agreeing to the road closures (which they have in principle). The date for the event is 25 August 2012 and starting at 4 pm.

The theme as you can imagine can only be one thing and in keeping with the big event next year – the Olympics. We therefore are organising the ‘Milford on Sea Village Olympics’. With this in mind we are looking for entrants to enter the procession either on a motorised display float or as a walking display with the design consisting of anything to do with the Olympics.

The main committee shall also be organising (hopefully) village games on the green throughout the day and hope, like previous years, the event will be well attended.

Insurance has been arranged insurance through Events Insurance and the policy is underwritten by AXA. We are also happy to advise you that they have agreed to cover third party motorised float entrants for an administration premium of £30.00 per float subject, of course, that the vehicle is insured against all usual comprehensible risks under the Road Traffic Act. With this in mind we would be obliged for a minimum contribution of £15.00 for any motorised entrants.

On previous years we understand that you have participated in the procession and we would be very much obliged, at this early stage if you would confirm that you would be willing to participate in next year’s event. I attach a copy of our entrance form which should be returned to me together with the contribution for insurance or a copy of your insurance policy confirming that you are covered by your own insurance (if you are entering a motorised float).

We are unfortunately not able to accept any further entrants after 17 August 2012.

We look forward to hearing from you.


With kind regards

Sean Reeves

For and on behalf of Milford-on-Sea Carnival Sub-Committee

*Please contact Sean for an Entry From at:
01590 644777

30 December 2011

The Joy of Christmas Presents

My wife of course needs for nothing, she is pretty, youthful, a good cook and has a wonderful husband. Shortly before Christmas I had bought her a top of the range Dyson, but apparently this was not a good ‘Christmas present’.

Christmas (I am led to understand) demands a 'special present'. In our early years together gift buying was quite easy, but fifteen years later new ideas become more of a struggle. Fortunately, I have survived the past few years by my wife telling me what she wants and I give her the money. I’m happy, she’s happy and it is the perfect solution for us simple men. This year life got a little more complicated when she said; “I would like a bracelet”, “Which bracelet?”, “Surprise me”. That final comment struck terror into my whole being. ‘Surprise her’, the only surprise will be if I am capable of doing this.

Christmas is of course a time when I excel in being the perfect husband, I always compliment my wife on how well she get the tree from the loft and decorates it beautifully. I comment positively on all the presents she buys for everyone, and of course help out the best I can with all of the food she makes and buys. Not easy I know, but certainly worth the effort.

It was nearly Christmas Eve when I set about my Christmas present mission, only to discover Ratners had disappeared. Several online searches later I found out that this challenge may be a bridge to far. It soon became clear that I had no idea what I was looking at, the options were vast and my ability to tell the difference was nil. I became even more confused when faced with knowing what size I needed. Had it been shoes or a dress I could have raided her wardrobe to find out. But measuring her shirt cuffs did not help me much. How is any man supposed to know the wrist size of their partner?, I struggle remembering her age and birthday.

A call to my friend did not help, he could only advise me that the necklace he bought from Elizabeth Duke last year had resulted in his wife not speaking to him for a month. (Could be worth it?)  He then reminded me that they divorced a few months later, and I had no intention of spending that much!

A final attempt on Christmas Eve proved fruitless, so there was only one thing for it.

Christmas morning arrived and it was time to open our presents. My wife looked a little apprehensive as she received her plain envelope, I think she had worked out it was not a bracelet. Her ability to contain her excitement was impressive as she opened the enclosed letter with the loving words; “I owe you a bracelet. Love you xxxx”. Although not signed, somehow she knew it was from me.

To complete my wife’s surprise I took her shopping (online) just after Boxing Day, and she chose a bracelet ‘that she had wanted for ages’ (apparently). The ‘LoveLinks bracelet’ was perfect, she was happy, and my wallet had a big dent in it. Perhaps if I had known that a ‘surprise’ had actually meant ‘I want a LoveLinks Bracelet’ I may have solved this mammoth challenge a little earlier.

Roll on next Christmas.

Party on New Year’s Eve


We have heard that ‘The Raft’ is holding ‘The Shipwrecked After Party’ on New Year’s Eve. The newly opened bistro and bar will have a ‘shipwrecked theme’ and will be serving canapés. Doors open at 10pm and it is £10 to get in and party past midnight.

The Marine and Westover Hall both have celebration dinners with entertainment, La Perle has a six course French menu, Zaika & Britannia Thai are providing an Asian option to see the new year in, and of course all of our local pubs have events happening. So, if you haven’t made your plans for your New Year’s Eve yet, there are still plenty of options to party the night away in Milford on Sea village.

Doctors Advice

I watched a doctor on television this evening who said that, we all could use more calm in our lives; and in order to achieve inner peace, we should always try to finish the things we start.

So, I looked around my house to find the things I’d started and hadn’t finished. I finished off a bottle of Chassagne Montrachet 2004, a bottle of Chateau Pape-Clement 2008, a bodle of Jin, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a boks a chocletz.

Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now.

Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum!