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Friday, 30 December 2011

The Joy of Christmas Presents

My wife of course needs for nothing, she is pretty, youthful, a good cook and has a wonderful husband. Shortly before Christmas I had bought her a top of the range Dyson, but apparently this was not a good ‘Christmas present’.

Christmas (I am led to understand) demands a 'special present'. In our early years together gift buying was quite easy, but fifteen years later new ideas become more of a struggle. Fortunately, I have survived the past few years by my wife telling me what she wants and I give her the money. I’m happy, she’s happy and it is the perfect solution for us simple men. This year life got a little more complicated when she said; “I would like a bracelet”, “Which bracelet?”, “Surprise me”. That final comment struck terror into my whole being. ‘Surprise her’, the only surprise will be if I am capable of doing this.

Christmas is of course a time when I excel in being the perfect husband, I always compliment my wife on how well she get the tree from the loft and decorates it beautifully. I comment positively on all the presents she buys for everyone, and of course help out the best I can with all of the food she makes and buys. Not easy I know, but certainly worth the effort.

It was nearly Christmas Eve when I set about my Christmas present mission, only to discover Ratners had disappeared. Several online searches later I found out that this challenge may be a bridge to far. It soon became clear that I had no idea what I was looking at, the options were vast and my ability to tell the difference was nil. I became even more confused when faced with knowing what size I needed. Had it been shoes or a dress I could have raided her wardrobe to find out. But measuring her shirt cuffs did not help me much. How is any man supposed to know the wrist size of their partner?, I struggle remembering her age and birthday.

A call to my friend did not help, he could only advise me that the necklace he bought from Elizabeth Duke last year had resulted in his wife not speaking to him for a month. (Could be worth it?)  He then reminded me that they divorced a few months later, and I had no intention of spending that much!

A final attempt on Christmas Eve proved fruitless, so there was only one thing for it.

Christmas morning arrived and it was time to open our presents. My wife looked a little apprehensive as she received her plain envelope, I think she had worked out it was not a bracelet. Her ability to contain her excitement was impressive as she opened the enclosed letter with the loving words; “I owe you a bracelet. Love you xxxx”. Although not signed, somehow she knew it was from me.

To complete my wife’s surprise I took her shopping (online) just after Boxing Day, and she chose a bracelet ‘that she had wanted for ages’ (apparently). The ‘LoveLinks bracelet’ was perfect, she was happy, and my wallet had a big dent in it. Perhaps if I had known that a ‘surprise’ had actually meant ‘I want a LoveLinks Bracelet’ I may have solved this mammoth challenge a little earlier.

Roll on next Christmas.


  1. Isn't this one of those bracelets that you are supposed to buy a new "Love Link" to add to it at least once a month???

  2. Arghhhh!! No one told me that. What have I let myself in for!!