Royal Wedding at Shorefield

If would like to watch the Royal Wedding on a big screen TV why not pop up to Shorefield Country Park. Coverage starts from around 9.30am.

The Cheers Bar will be open from 9am if anyone wants breakfast beforehand. It will also be open throughout the day for refreshments and lunch. In addition they are offering a buffet lunch at £5.00 a head served from 12 noon – 2pm. The fly past is at 1.30pm. Everyone welcome.

May Fayre on Monday 2nd May

Don’t miss this year May Fayre on the village green. This charming family day out on Monday 2nd May starts at 10am until 4pm. The main feature as always will be the crowning of the May Princess, Hannah Cornack and her attendant Emily Duckett at 2.00pm, both are pupils from our village school. That is followed by May Pole dancing by the children from Milford C of E primary school.

The village green will be full of stalls with something for everyone, In addition there will be lots of entertainment with an Assault course, Climbing wall, Coconut shy, Music Food from the BBQ. We also have Punch & Judy shows and a Magic show. Just come along & enjoy yourself!

HSBC dislodge Red Phone Box

Many may be nostalgic about the ‘old fashioned Red Telephone Box’ at the foot of the village green beside The Old Smithy.  Well, if you are one of them, it is possible that the village is at risk of losing it. 

To explain, whilst efforts continue to resolve our village banking issues following the withdrawal of HSBC. Our local MP Desmond Swayne, along with enthusiastic village campaigners are continuing to hold meeting in an attempt to keep a bank in our village, we wish them well, but honest expectation have to be low.

It is looking promising for the retention of an ATM Cash Machine in the village, with the news that the Coop are to have a free service in-store during their lengthy opening hours. The law of ‘unexpected consequences’ has also raised its head, as there is also another new proposal with NFDC Planning Department having received an application from BT Payphones to install a combined ‘Telephone kiosk with ATM’. The new unit is similar in size & shape to the existing Red Phone Box, but in a nice bright silver colour to blend in with our conservation area!  You will never guess the bank brand also emblazed on the pictures with the planning application?  Oh yes, our old friends HSBC.

artists impression
click image to enlarge

This installation will of course make our ‘old Red Phone Box’ obsolete. We have a choice, we can just lose it, or we can work together to keep for the village. Some unofficial discussions have identified that the village could buy it, and it is likely that the Parish Council would support a relocation to a suitable new position. The main issue will be who will be responsible for funding & physically maintaining the phone box, it is doubtful that the Parish Council will take this on.

So, if you would like to retain the Red Phone Box we need ideas on:

Who will take responsibility for maintenance? Perhaps, Milord on Sea Historical Society may be interested?

Who will fund the maintenance? Perhaps we could have a village appeal to cover costs for next five years?

Where could it be relocated? First idea, is in the raised flowerbed outside of HSBC & at top of Park Road? (See picture with the story)

What could it contain, as it would no longer be a phone?

If you have any ideas or thoughts, please feel free to share them by posting a comment below >>>

Lofty's Jive at Milford on Sea

Lofty’s Jive night is back as usual on Bank holiday Monday 2nd of May.

Kieran Loftus was one of the first people in the country to teach what is Known today as Modern Jive. He started dancing in1994, got hooked and soon became a qualified instructor. Kieran is a former UK National Jive Champion. He has appeared on BBC1 on a couple of occasions demonstrating and teaching. Among his pupils were Robson & Jerome!!! (he only taught them to dance, not sing!)

Modern Jives derives from French Jive known as Le Roc. It is one of the easiest dances to learn and is the biggest social dance at the moment. There is at least one dance class in every major city and many in smaller towns and villages. In fact just google "modern Jive" and you will be astonished how popular it is. Dances are held all over the country at weekends where lovers of the dance get together from different parts of the country. There are many "weekenders" dedicated to devotees of the dance.

The dance is for everyone, of all shapes, sizes and ages. You don't have to bring a partner and no experience is necessary. Is a great social night and ideal way to keep fit and lose those pounds. Music is played from Sinatra and Buble to Kylie and Take that. Once you have the basics you are ready to jive at weddings, parties and down the local club or pub. Once you have learnt it, you won’t forget it. In fact I hear it is addictive.

Kieran runs his popular class at Milford on Sea Community centre, every Monday night starting at 8pm. The age group is typically 40 yrs upwards. Feel free to give it a go and soon you will be impressing your friends, and making friends at the same time.

Any queries contact Kieran on 07802 815371

Email: kieran@loftuslaw.co.uk

Wow, What a Food Week!

New House Venison at Food Market

This year’s Milford on Sea Food Week has been amazing! The whole of the village got enthusiastically involved in organising over one hundred events, including the village eateries, shops, local producers, the Girl Guides, WI, clubs, schools, local charities, church and lots of individual food specialists.

We estimate that around 12,000 to 15,000 people attended the numerous food events, dining experiences, demonstrations, talks, cookery theatre, CakeFest! & food market during Food Week. It felt like the whole village attended the many events, along with holidaymakers and many people from neighbouring towns as far afield as Poole & Southampton. The whole week has been a joy, particularly when seeing thousands of people being fed and entertained all across the village.

All of the celebrity shows and themed dining events had enthusiastic support & great feedback. The numerous activities throughout Food Week also raised over £9000 for local charities. Best of all, it was great to see the smiling faces on the many kids, family groups, thirtysomethings & our lively older generation all enjoying everything that our special village has to offer.

A huge thank you goes to the massive team of volunteers and raffle sellers who did so much to ensure everything ran so smoothly. Even those working at Food Week had a great time!

Give us a few days for our legs to recover and lose a bit of weight!, then we will have a few stories of what happened, along with a photo album from Food Week.



The Neary Naked Chef | Hardeep Singh Kohli





An Evening with Dick Strawbridge (& Florence!)



Sunday Food Market



Come & See the Moustache

The fun of Food Week is getting into full swing following a successful Monday full of activities & food!  Just thought I would let you know that we still have tickets available for the ‘big events’. If you turn up at the door, there is a good chance there will still be tickets available. The ‘CakeFest! & Village Food Fair’ is free entry for all in the All Saints’ Church Hall from 10am to 3pm on Wednesday. Wednesday afternoon at 2.30pm is ‘The BIG Cook Off’ at the Cookery Theatre in the Community Centre, tickets will be available on the door, as they will be for ‘An Evening with Dick Strawbridge at 5pm on Thursday. Dick will be cooking & recalling amusing stories from his varied TV career. The ‘famous moustache’ should really be seen in person!

Friday night is party night at South Lawn with live music from local band 'Dorsal Fin', together with Scampi & Chips included in the ticket price. The final Cookery Theatre show is on Saturday night at 7.30pm, The Nearly Naked Chef Show with Hardeep Singh Kohli will be one not to miss! The Cookery Theatre also has many free entry events, and demonstrations, so please come along and take a look. Finally, Sunday will see the Three Tenors with their ‘Food Glorious Food show’.  This spectacular show will be at performed at South Lawn Hotel at 5pm & again at 8pm. Why not find the time to come along and get a ticket on the door.

No time to write anymore just now, I need to get out and eat my way through Food Week!

PS: If you tune into Radio Solent at around 1.30pm today you will hear some big bloke being interviewed about Food Week!

Glimmer of hope for bank

The village continues to be galvanised to resolve the problems resulting from HSBC’s decision to unceremoniously dump us. Many individual and groups in the village have been writing to all and sundry looking for solutions. Jan England has been in touch with the Daily Mail ‘Money Section’ with the result that they visited the village with a photographer yesterday, villagers Nick Martin, Freda Cheyney and others were also interviewed, so hopefully our village story will appear nationally soon. Geoffrey Hinds & several others has also been very active with correspondence. The Co-op have also been contacted, but whilst friendly, they do not see that Milford on Sea would fit into their plans in the near future. Helen White & friends are also speaking to numerous people and had a meeting with our local MP, Desmond Swayne a few weeks ago. He promised to speak to some banks in the city, and he has been true to his word. Whilst he drew a blank with HSBC & Santander, it appears that he has gained sufficient interest from RBS to investigate further.

We also hear that the Co-Op & HSBC are considering installing ATM cash machines within the village.

HSBC is looking a lost cause, but we certainly sense a will in the village to activate a ‘Lets transfer our money’ campaign should any bank show interest in supporting the village.

Whether the light at the end of proves to be good news, or a train coming, we will see.

Food Week Tickets on Door

Box Office: If you haven’t booked tickets for the major Milford on Sea Food Week events yet, there will be a Food Week Box Office selling tickets on this Saturday & Sunday from 9am to 12noon in the Community Centre.

At Door: It is likely you will be also able to buy tickets on the door of the major events.  But, please arrive as early as possible to ensure of getting in.

To see everything that is happening (& there is a lot!) please get your programme in almost any of the village shops.

To be sure of a ticket please pop into Gwen’s or order online by visiting: 

http://www.milfordonseafoodweek.ticketsource.co.uk/

Marshalls wanted

We are looking for a few Traffic Marshalls to keep an eye on the ‘No Entry’ barriers to the Food Market in the High Street on Sunday 17th April. We are really fortunate to have a large volunteer team covering all other duties at various events, but still need a hand with Traffic Marshalling.

If you could do ‘9am to 12noon’, or ‘12noon to 3.30pm’, or both, please just let me know:

davidlong@milfordonsea.org

Bon Appetit launch ‘Picnic on the Green’

Milford on Sea’s village creperie, Bon Appetit, has launched 'Picnic on the Green'. Christina is now offering picnic bags for families or individuals who want to eat outside, but don't have the time or desire to put together their own picnic. They have menu cards available for you to pick your picnic components (from £6.00 per person or £3.95 per child), including freshly made sandwiches, panini's, baguettes or salads, home baked cake, fruit, crisps and a drink. The pretty picnic bags also include plates, cutlery, condiments and an optional picnic mat to sit on and enjoy your outdoor feast!

You will find Bon Appetit on the High Street, opposite the Green, just pop in and pick up a picnic menu which are available inside or out. Then all you need to do, is fill it in and drop it back or give them a ring on 01590 641414 with your requirements. They will then have your picnic ready for you for any time that you choose. Looks like we all now have an option for al fresco dining on the village green or beach the easy way!

Having had lunch there yesterday I can vouch for the ‘Toasted brie & homemade red onion chutney sandwich’, my wife also enthused over the ‘Bacon, blue cheese & mushroom crepe’, all washed down with milkshakes freshly made with yummy ice cream. I would also like to tell you how delicious the Dorset apple cake and chocolate fudge cake was, but according to my wife ‘I didn’t need any’. Oh. I love how she always knows best!’. Think I will sneak back without her!

South Africa comes to Milford

Villagers now have the chance to buy South African wines from a new resident in our village. Daan Coetzee & his family moved into the village from Cape Town recently & he has set up a new business 'Cape Wine Cellars’. South Africa born Daan spent many years in the management of Franschhoek Vineyards & Doolhof Wine Estate in South Africa and is now bringing the pick of regional wines to the UK. Daan is married to a ‘Milford on Sea girl’, Rebecca, and they are the proud parents of two daughters.

Daan is already involved in Food Week and will be hosting a talk on ‘A Year in the Life of a Wine Estate’ at 7pm on Wednesday in the Community Centre. Daan will explore the complete wine production cycle from pruning, through the growing period to harvest, and the wine making process including barrel maturation & bottling. Also enjoy tasting six wines along with ideas on their ideal food pairing. If you fancy coming along entry is £5 on the door, and everyone receives a £5 Discount Voucher against 6 Bottles of Wine.

info@capewinecellars.com

Milford: A Dangerous Place to Live!

A couple of our observant readers have spotted an essential new sign at Sturt Pond.  Apparently the pond is full of dangerous water.  I was aware that it is wet, but thankfully I now know it has the ability to attack passers-by. 

I had also heard about a sign proclaming 'Dangerous Rocks'.  I suspect most who live in, or visit Milford on Sea would be unaware that we live in a such dangerous place.

After serving my wife tea in bed, (without early morning tea she really is dangerous) your intrepid reporter set out in search of evidence of the 'Dangerous Rocks'. My first thought was that Milford on Sea had been declared the drug capital of the UK, but as most drugs taken here are by legitimate prescription I soon realised we would not actually qualify for this disturbing title.

Perhaps the danger lurks in the village I thought, so off I set, but there did not appear to be any angry groups of ‘hoodies’ roaming the streets, & the biggest dangers I found on the street corners were the sharp edged curbs. I accept that here in Milford on Sea there is a higher percentage chance of being mown down by a mobility scooter, but I found no signs to warn us of this, so I concluded that this was not the danger I was looking for. It appeared that the village centre is pretty safe.

That being the case, I decided that the danger must lie at the seafront. My next investigations soon revealed the danger to me. (Do you think I found it so fast because I am married to a policeman’s daughter?) To my horror I discovered that we are all under threat from the seafront rocks. I stood back & calmly read the chilling sign: ‘Warning: Rocks can be dangerous’. The sign told me everything & nothing. However, now being alert to the danger I took a quick furtive look at the rocks in the immediate area.  Unfortunately, whoever had put up the sign had not been thorough enough to label each rock with ‘this one is dangerous’, this one is not’, ‘this one is dangerous’, ‘this one is not’ etc. The sign itself wasn’t really helping, as it just had an image of superman flying over some cotton wool balls, and no indication of where the 'dangerous rocks' actually were’.

I wondered if it was it just a small group of wicked rocks that were actually dangerous?, & if so, how could we tell which ones they are? More disturbingly, how would we know if they actullay roam in large vicious groups, or do they just slyly mingle in with the nice placid rocks, only revealing themselves when they attack? The sign did not actually reveal the exact nature of their danger, so I decided to keep one hand on my wallet, the other on the dogs, and at the same time kept looking behind me to ensure I was not mugged by surprise. Indeed, how daft would I have looked if I had been mugged by a rock. Can you imagine explaining the mugging to the police, & the officer asking: ‘Didn’t you see the warning sign sir?’.

Perhaps the rocks were dangerous because ten percent of them had been replaced by rubber rocks, so that when you walk on them you just bounce uncontrollably into the air towards the Needles. Could be funny to watch, and I do accept that this would qualify as dangerous. My investigations were coming to nothing, and it seemed being the husband of a policeman’s daughter was no longer helping me to solve the mystery. I therefore took the best course of action I could think of, & went home for a drink in the knowledge that the rocks may get me in an unexpected way sometime in the future.

Whilst rambling inanely about signs that are designed by people who studied ‘stating the bleeding obvious’ at university, I am now planning to add a few more to protect us all, I might start with: ‘Danger: Walking can make you tired’, ‘Warning: Pebbles can be nasty if roused’, ‘Attention: Nude bathing is prohibited, but encouraged’ and ‘Watch out, watch out there’s a Humphrey about’. If you see them, don’t tell anyone that it was me that did it. Perhaps we could even add to bottom of the village welcome sign: 'Beware: Our rocks are evil!’

Food Week nearly here!

April 11th is fast approaching and we are meeting many people who are busy planning what they are going to be doing throughout Food Week.

A few of the events have already sold out, but don't worry, it is not too late to get involved enjoying many of the events taking place, and we of course have many free events for you to enjoy.  Might be worth beating the rush, by booking any shows you want to see now.

If you would like to see the full events calendar please click link below:
http://www.milfordonseacalendar.org/

If you would like to buy some tickets for thr big events please click link below:
http://www.milfordonseafoodweek.ticketsource.co.uk/

HSBC try charm offensive

Helen White, one of the villages active campaigners again the closure of the Milford on Sea HSBC Branch, received an unexpected telephone call this week from an official at HSBC. During the conversation the guy said “if we close our accounts we will be cutting our nose off to spite our faces, after all we will still have to travel to Lymington or New Milton for other reasons." It looks like the investment HSBC has made in PR training for their staff has been extremely well spent. However, it might be worth spending a little bit of the cash saved on closing our branch on a tad more training for this guy. Mr PR Guru went on to say ‘that they had consulted everyone on this issue’. I guess he was calling from the HSBC fantasy department.

HSBC Protest Gathers Pace!

HSBC has certainly kicked a hornets nest by messing with our village!  Protests are appearing from many corners, and plans are now being made to create a more collective approach. Continuing its excellent approach to customer care, HSBC would not reveal the time of regional manager’s branch visit earlier this week. We also understand that the manager in question has also declined an invitation to lunch with a few concerned customers.

Last Saturday, Helen White and friends set out a ‘Protest Pitch’ outside the HSBC Bank doors in Milford on Sea and collected many signatures on a petition. It was quite exciting to see a constant crowd queuing to sign, in an attempt to get their voice heard by ‘Mr & Mrs big bonus’ in HSBC.

To date the Advertiser & Times have run a story and seem very willing to visit the village to report on our guerrilla activities against this faceless, bonus ridden, banking giant. Thanks guys. Wave Radio were outside the bank at around 7.10am on Wednesday morning, where they met Helen & friends with their banner, and conducted an interview with Hugh Whitlock, our village solicitor, who was accompanied by some other early rising protesters. We also understand that South Today are taking an interest in the story. A number of local people have contacted the national press and the story is now appearing on various websites as the news spreads. The village’s other community website http://www.milfordonsea.com/ has also covered the story.

Another local villager, Jan England, has been around nearly all of the village shops to find details of all those who bank with our HSBC branch. She is also contacting local clubs & organising to establish the same.

Judit, who manages the Village Charity Shop, has reported that her ‘in-shop’ petition is now ‘getting huge’, and is urging people to come and sign it. She also writes: "As the HSBC were only willing to meet with individual callers to discuss the closure today (Wednesday), I took the opportunity to call in and meet with Julian Collinson, Regional Service Manager, South West Region for the HSBC. He confirmed the "party line" on the closure, but was unable to comment on why the bank is keeping open the Brockenhurst branch and shutting the only bank in our unique village. Mr Collinson can be emailed on juliancollinson@hsbc.com. He has promised to pass on all of our many comments to head office, but I am sure he would love to hear from you all individually, so get typing and make his day."

We also know of a number of account holders who have personally written to HSBC expressing their displeasure. At this stage of course they have only received ‘Automated replies’, I am sure in time the ‘comedy letter department’ at HSBC will construct a formal patronising reply.

BBC News (Hampshire & Isle of Wight) have reported on our story, and interestingly also report that the HSBC branch in Findon Valley will shut on 10 September, apparently because not enough customers use it. HSBC (which recently announced profits of £7bn) have promised to help customers make alternative arrangements for managing their finances. (I bet that doesn’t included helping transfer accounts to other banks.) Maggie Winter of Findon Valley Residents' Association said: "The usage isn't actually as low as HSBC would like us to believe”. Does this sounds familiar? Maggie continues; "They were the last bank standing here and five years ago they made a promise that if they were in that position they would never ever close and now they are totally reneging on that undertaking." Hmmm, they made the same promises when Lloyds left our village. HSBC have also given the same garbage excuses to them, as they have to us. Nowhere can I find them revealing the real truth, which of course is, ‘we want to make more money and we couldn’t care a less about the problems it causes you’.

________________________________________

If you would like to get involved in the current protests…...

Saturday (Tomorrow): The petition will be available to sign outside of HSBC or in the Village Charity shop.

Monday: The Parish Council meeting has the bank closure on the agenda. Everyone welcome to attend. Venue: Monday evening at 6.30 in the Village Hall, Park Road. The bank representatives have been invited to attend, but there has been no response so far.

Friday (Today): Helen White and Mark Cummings have a meeting planned with Desmond Swayne to discuss position. They also plan to coordinate a meeting with HSBC at the village hall in the following weeks. (Should they be willing to attend)

Future Public Action Group Meeting: There is talk of bringing everyone together to create a collective action plan, but no news on this so far. Will let you know where & when if it happens.

You can also post comment below, or on a Facebook page started by Karen. We will let you have the address when we know it.

________________________________________

STOP PRESS:

We have heard that some replies are now been received from complaint letters to HSBC. One reiterates the patronising statement made to customers in the letter informing them of the closure. Amusingly, it says at the end ‘that if they don’t hear back, they will presume that the person is satisfied with their response to their complaint’. I guess this process just continues until someone get bored and gives in.

The HSBC Regional Services Manager, Julian G Collinson (juliancollinson@hsbc.com) who visited this week and met with a few customer individually, has also replied to some comments, saying: “Thank you for your contact, as promised I am collating the various feedback I received yesterday from many customers, and will contact you again as matters become clearer around the provision of an ATM. The decision to close Milford on Sea branch was a very difficult one to take in such challenging times and I do not dismiss the genuine concerns expressed to me by residents and business owners in the village. I do appreciate the feelings of the local community, equally a decision has been taken by ourselves which is not reversable. The issue of reduced hours is on reflection impractical, however I will be happy to pass on the thoughts to my colleagues for due consideration, although my personal view having reflected on this is that if we were to consider reducing hours this would not have the desired affect upon the contribution to the bank's business from this particular branch. Commercially the decision to close is sound, but having said that I understand the impact, emotionally and financially, upon customers as a result.”

Dear Julian G, Your reply to a friend gave me great comfort, as for a change the spelling errors in that letter are not mine! Interestingly, I have not once seen in any HSBC correspondence suggestions that the branch is losing money, so it is fair to assume it is not. Neither do you mention the value of the deposits which are held by HSBC customers in the village. I suspect with over 5000 people and some serious wealth it may be a nice few quid. We have heard that HSBC consider our branch ‘under-used’. This is of course not quantified by HSBC. How long does the queue have to be before a branch is considered ‘well-used’? I am sure we could call in a bit more often if you wanted us to. I would love to see the statistics on ‘Customers served per head of staff’ in comparison to other branches, but guess you will not publish them to us.

As we have been told that the decision to close the HSBC Milford on Sea branch was made after ‘careful consideration’, who forgot about the ATM Cash machine then? I know it is outside, but I guess the ‘grey suits’ knew the branch had one. I am unclear what you mean by; ‘and will contact you again as matters become clearer around the provision of an ATM’. Does that mean; ‘Ooops, we forgot about that, and need to come up with an idea’, or ‘We have already decided that this is going anyway, but by giving false hope we may quieten the silly villagers down a bit’. Being pedantic, we don’t actually want a ‘provision’ of an ATM, we just want to keep the one we have.

Your Corporate Responsibility pages on your website are quite humorous, there are quite a few that tickled me, but the best one is: “For HSBC, corporate social responsibility, or 'CSR', means managing our business responsibly and sensitively for long-term success. Our goal is not, and never has been, profit at any cost because we know that tomorrow's success depends on the trust we build today”. Absolutely hilarious!!  Who wrote this then Julian? Whoever they are, they must have forgotten to tell everyone involved in deciding to shut our branch. Perhaps the ‘knife wielding grey suits’ could have a chat with the 'nice & cuddly' directors that wrote your ‘feel good policy’ and see how this fits in with your closure decision. If you would like to sell tickets for this meeting I am happy to promote these for you. (Returning all profits to HSBC of course) I suspect many of us in the village would love to see senior HSBC blokes talking to themselves, as they try to work out why they say one thing, and then do exactly the other.

I know from previous correspondence that HSBC think we are a bit stupid, and I guess you may be right, because I just can’t get my head round how HSBC still enjoys tax payer underwritten inter-bank loans, the usage of the special liquidity scheme and the benefits of quantitative easing, and then after posting £7billion in profits, decide to attack a community in Milford on Sea simply because they are not delivering you enough profit.

Our local shopkeepers & businesses know all about ‘striving for a fair profit, whilst providing a service to the community’. Should HSBC ever rethink their corporate ‘profit only’ strategy, I am sure we could arrange a bus load of small business people from the village to mentor at one of your management training programmes. We would happily cover our own costs if you felt you were running a bit short of cash. We would also bring our own flasks of coffee and sandwiches so that we did not waste any of the profits destined for bonuses. In fact, whilst we were travelling to you we might also find a bank to pay in the shop takings, so sounds like a win-win’ to me. Perhaps, when you get it on ‘your radar’ & are ‘thinking outside of the box’, you can get everyone ‘onside’ & ‘going forward’, to ‘run the idea up the flagpole.’

Some in our community feel that we should appeal to HSBC’s better nature. My opinion differs, as I have seen no sign that HSBC have any intention of considering us in any way. I see HSBC as insensitive, arrogant, hypocritical, selfish and greedy.  Have nice day. 

Food Week on Radio this Sunday

If you happening to be listening to the Nick Girdler Show on BBC Radio Solent at 11.10am this coming Sunday you will hear a 5 minute interview about the delights of Milford on Sea Food Week. If you fancy tuning in the wavelengths are: 96.1 & 103.8FM: 999 and 1039 AM: DAB: bbc.co.uk/solent

Hugh Whitlock on Wave Radio

Wave Radio were outside the ‘closing’ HSBC bank in Milford on Sea at around 7.10am on Wednesday morning. Here they met a number of early rising protesters and conducted an interview with Hugh Whitlock, our village solicitor.

To hear Hugh Whitlock’s radio interview please click here:

www.wave105.com/Article.asp?id=2140661&spid=25629

HSBC think we are stupid

Dear Ben,

As an existing customer of the Milford on Sea branch that you intend to desert soon, I am in receipt of your letter dated ‘March 2011’.

At first I was not sure whether to laugh or cry, but I have now decided to be insulted instead.

I assume that as a senior manager in HSBC you are reasonably intelligent, therefore I have to assume that you consider your loyal customers in Milford on Sea to be stupid.

To explain, I do understand that you are unlikely to be the decision maker in the closure of our village branch, and that some grey suit, or even worse a collective of grey suits have loaded the gun for you to fire. (Is a collective of grey suits a ‘greed gaggle’, I am not sure?) Regardless, your name is the signatory on the letter, so I have to assume you have read it and may even have been involved in the content.

Firstly, your letter title: ‘Important changes to your branch.’ I think you will find there are no changes to our branch. There is going to be no branch. That is not a change, that is a closure. So why not just say, ‘Closure of your branch’ it makes things clearer for our limited intelligence, and factually correct. (Hope this is helping for when HSBC help to wreck another local community in the near future.)

Your first sentence is a gem, and I quote; ‘At HSBC, we are constantly evolving and developing our services to help you do your banking at a time and place that suits you.’ Unbelievable! Whoever wrote this letter must really consider me and my fellow local customers to be morons. The place that suits us is Milford on Sea, and you are closing it!  Furthermore if HSBC really wanted to 'help me do my banking' they would not close the branch.

You go on to say ‘after careful consideration, we have taken the difficult decision...’. Hmm, ‘careful consideration.’ I guess this means, ‘We have looked at our profits and decided to make some more, without consideration of our customers.' ‘Difficult decision’, I don’t really believe it was that difficult. HSBC just decided and did it. If I am faced with a difficult decision, I normally consult others to get the best result for all. I guess HSBC know that any form of local consultation would have caused issues, so why waste your time and go through the hassle.

Your second paragraph. Again I quote; ‘But don’t worry...’ I say ‘don’t patronise us!'  You go on to write, in a way that we should be grateful, that you are ‘automatically transferring’ our accounts to Lymington. Well bully for HSBC, I didn’t actually expect you to say that you were closing our accounts and inviting us to find new banks.

Your third paragraph goes on to list ‘the benefits’ I will get from the moving my account somewhere I did not ask. 1. Longer opening hours. (Ours were fine thanks) 2. Additional staff to assist with my banking needs. (We had plenty thanks) 2 and 3 I can’t even be bothered to comment on because they are so ridiculous.

You do not mention anything about our village cash machine in your letter, other than to tell us that machines exist in Lymington & New Milton. (We already knew that thanks.) I do not suppose HSBC care, but a lot of people fight daily to keep our village shops alive. We are also reliant on holiday makers to keep things going. By removing our cash machine, visitors and locals will not be able to get cash easily and sales will undoubtedly suffer. People will now have no choice other than to leave the village to get cash, and may shop near where they are visiting. This could be the final straw for some of our shops and they may close, and not out of choice like yourselves. If you remove our cash machine as well this would be more than shameful.

The irony is that HSBC could push hard working, but struggling businesses over the edge, at the same time that they have been helping the struggle by providing accessible bank loans. Oh no my mistake, you don't lend money to people that need it any more. 

In your final paragraph you provide an invitation to ask questions, Thank you so very much. It would have been handy if you had included an e-mail address, especially as your letter tells us how wonderful electronic banking is, but you didn’t. However, I have no intention of wasting the cost of postage stamp writing to you in snail mail, neither do I choose to call your 0845 telephone number at my expense. You also offer the opportunity to ‘call in’, ‘where any member of the team will be happy to help’. Help with what?! I suspect any conversation would go something like this: ‘Can you help me keep our branch open please?, Err, no. Thanks for helping, I will now make the four mile journey back to Milford, once I can get back to my car that has taken over an hour to find a parking space. My pleasure sir, have a nice day.

Your letter closes by ‘apologising for any inconvenience caused’. When I was at school I was taught that an apology is an expression of remorse or regret used when you had done something wrong. Do HSBC really think they have done something wrong and are feeling remorse? I suspect not.

HSBC may not care about our village, be we certainly do. I am confident that many villagers hope that HSBC’s decision to close our branch results in sufficient account defections to make your move a net loss. Even better would be that the ‘grey suit gang’ responsible receive a reduced bonus as a consequence. Better still we would love one of them to be on holiday in Milford on Sea when they run out of cash & their car breaks down. A resulting eight mile return walk to Lymington would be great to watch.

HSBC should be ashamed of their decision and of how the process has been handled. The banks were once an institution we all trusted and respected. They now have a well earned reputation for exactly the opposite.

PS: The footer on your letterhead has an icon encouraging us to ‘visit your branch’. Funny, oh so very funny. Do HSBC have a department who design mailings with an office & adjoining sound proofed room? Why a sound proofed room? Well, I guess they would need a place to go to raucously laugh their head off at our expense. ‘Hey John, look at this one. The morons out there will never spot the patronising garbage I have just put in this letter.’ He, he, he....'

PPS: I wonder what the consequence would be if every Milford on Sea resident decided to close all of their accounts with HSBC.  My guess is that some HSBC 'grey suits' would end up with very red faces.  I have no idea if this could happen in practise, but you might find enough people who wish to protest in this way.  Should this happen you may discover that decisions made on balance sheets don't always work out, - mainly because there are real people at the other end.

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Should anyone wish to sign a petition to try to keep the bank open, simply call into the Village Charity Shop.  You will also find a number of active campaigners set up in the village at various times.

If anyone has a view they would like to express, please feel free to post a comment below.

HSBC Protest on Wednesday

A village protest against the bank closure is being planned for next Wednesday on & near the village green. The time is yet to be decided, but if you would like to get involved please pop into the Village Charity Shop and Judit will be happy to give you the details.

HSBC deserting our village

The village rumour mill is circulating with stories that HSBC Bank will be closing our Milford on Sea branch in June. It would be great if this was proved to be untrue, but my guess is that the rumour is based on fact. Over several years of using the bank the team has always been very helpful, and indeed the same goes for the Lymington branch. It now looks as though some good people may be looking for alternative careers, which is of course really easy to do in today’s world!

It seems the faceless grey suits in some grand building housing the HSBC HQ have decided our branch no longer provides a sufficient financial return for their coffers.  I doubt the resulting issues and difficulties created for loyal customers and local businesses are of any concern to any of them.  It is not all bad news though, at least they will be able to give themselves more bonuses and their shareholders a few more quid.

Hysterically, the bank prides itself on the strapline: ‘HSBC The worlds local bank’. Which of course may be more factual if it said ‘HSBC The worlds local bank, if we make enough money from it’.  Taking a look at the HSBC website I spotted that they offer ‘Bereavement support’.  It was not clear if their ‘Bereavement support team’ will be happy to counsel us in our time of loss?  Despite continued searches I did not find a ‘Branches we are closing to make more money’ page.

As a business owner myself I need no lessons in profitability, but perhaps I could teach them a thing or two about the rewards from sometimes doing 'the greater good'.   I have to admit that doing things for others benefit doesn't always line your pockets, but it has many other rewards.  Our company truely values our reputation above all else and we have constantly proven 'what goes around, comes around'.  For us this is good news, perhaps for the banks as a whole a judgement day will arrive.  How can it possible to constantly upset so many people without a consequence?

Big corporates paranoia with share prices drive just about all decisions, so all that seems to matter today is what they can take out of your piggy bank. Once your piggy is empty your value ceases. Fortunately we live a village with a real community, and we have many people who do good for others without any more return than feeling good for helping another soul.

If you fancy signing a petition there is one open & running in the Community Centre Charity Shop.  We also understand that our local MP Desmond Swayne is aware of the HSBC closure and has contacted them.

Please feel free to post a comment below if you wish. Who knows some suit from HSBC HQ may just read it and change their mind. I wouldn’t hold your breath though!