Mole Men head for Whitby Road!

As the Mole Men continue to burrow deep below Milford on Sea village green, we have been contacted by one of the head moles. We suspect that the Mole Men are trying to gain friendships, and that this may be a plan to divert from their work of creating a network of tunnels under the village for their new subterranean community. Jim Stark, who claims to be the Operations Manager for Southern Gas Networks, wrote to us, saying that; ‘following recent gas escapes, works will be starting shortly in Cliff Road to replace a section of main between Cornwallis Road and Whitby Road’. Hmmm, I never smelt any gas leak. Interestingly, Jim contacted me by e-mail, which of course means that they have already installed broadband under a number of houses in the village. If your web connection speed has increased recently, this may be why. I wonder if they have installed their own mobile phone mast yet, as I am sure we will all get a better signal when they do.  I must remember to ask when I next see a Mole Man in the Red Lion.  Indeed, I must also remember to ask them how they are getting on with the underground railway to Hurst Castle that I had requested..

Demonstrating my lack of judgement in understanding women, I  attempted to explain to my wonderful wife the latest development in the Mole Men saga.  As she gazed into my eyes, with what I thought was a stare of wonderment, I felt a sharp pain.  Once again she had demonstrated that a size 10 is more than capable of delivering a perfect kidney punch.  As I laid on the floor, I decided not to retaliate, mainly because she was now emptying the dishwasher, & there were a lot of knives around. 

Undeterred, and now breathing again, I carried on my quest and discovered that the Mole Men had also written to local residents in the area using paper with a Southern Gas Networks letterhead. The various corporate disguises they use always amuses me. They claim the work should be completed within 3 weeks, and by my reckoning they will be able to build underground accommodation for at least forty Mole Men Families in that time. Jim goes on to say that, ‘it is impossible to carry out this essential work without some disruption and I would like to apologise for any inconvenience caused’. What he actually means is; ‘please do not disturb us, as we have a lot to do & complaints about the noise delays our progress towards our perfect home in the darkness’. It is nice to know the Mole Men are friendly, as once their underground town is complete, & Mole Men from across the country move in, we will all be neighbours!