Danestream, or Danes Stream, who knows?

I was feeling a bit mischievous today, and I was trying to gather the courage to put a big plastic spider in my wife’s knicker drawer. To kill time whilst I was waiting for her to come out the bedroom, I decided to find out which of my arms were the longest. As I used a six inch ruler to measure, I recalled the News Story I had written in these pages a few weeks ago, which investigated whether ‘Milford on Sea should contain hyphens or not’? The story concluded with some ‘comedian’ then asking me another question; ‘which is correct, Danestream or Danes Stream?’

Well, no time like the present I decided, and my latest nonsensical research was soon under way. Local addresses would be a good indicator I thought, & I was soon to discover that Sea Road contains both a Danestream House and Danestream Court. Hampshire County Council also list our waterway as Danestream in their Hampshire treasures pages. Danestream Farm Shop in New Milton had also obviously decided that a space was not for them. To try & get another clear opinion I called my mate Dan, he was however less than helpful, as he reckoned it was named after him. The New Forest National Park Authority has both versions (cunning move boys), plus two of our local B&B’s also go for Danestream. Just as the opinion was going strongly one way, the tide quickly turned, as I spotted that the Environment Agency, the New Forest District Council, and Hampshire County Council, all go for Danes Stream, & as they control the public signage I reckon they have an advantage on this one. Our own Parish Council website however goes for Danestream, they even go further by explaining that got its name from a local legend about when the Saxons once fought a fierce battle against the Danes nearby, and every year on the anniversary of the battle the water turns red! Danes in Milford on Sea? This sounded a bit farfetched, until I remembered that today we have Inger Lise’s Coffee Shop in the village High Street. Inger Lise’s is run by a real live Swedish lady, & they serve smorgasbord, waffles, Danish pastries & reindeer sandwiches. (I made one of those up.) Perhaps Milford on Sea has a mystical power to draw in Scandinavians? Alternatively, it was historically a place where people just turned up for a fight, as there was also the reputed 18th Century Battle of Milford Green between smugglers and the militia, so it looks like Milford on Sea was a bit like a dodgy nightclub in the olden days.

I was sure someone in the village must know, so off I went. I approached several people but all they wanted to talk about was: ‘why is the High Street now made of custard?’ My dilemma did not look like getting resolved, so I soon went home again. I then decided to view our own (this) website for the correct terminology, this was totally inconclusive, as I have used both versions to ensure that we have it correct sometimes. My final research really perplexed me, as I found several entries on the web for a new singular version: ‘Dane Stream’, I however dismissed these, as I was getting bored by now. Anyway, whatever the stream is properly called, I do know that it flows through The Pleasure Grounds. To be factual, the Danes Stream forms part of the Milford on Sea conservation area & runs the length of the parish, through the Pleasure Grounds, Westerly through Studland Common & Sharvells Copse, & Eastwards along the rear of the village shops exiting into Sturt Pond. The Pleasure Grounds have 14 acres of ancient woodland with a network of footpaths along the Danes Stream as it runs parallel to the coast.

So there you go another fine piece of investigative journalism, with absolutely no conclusion whatsoever. On her eventual exit from the bedroom, (Why is it that women spend so long getting dressed?) I asked my wife her valued opinion on my latest cutting edge village research, & she calmly asked me, “have you thought of moving?”, “why’s that monkey?” (Monkey?! Perhaps a story for another day) I warmly replied, she swiftly retorted “because there must a another village somewhere that needs an idiot!”. It is hard to believe that she actually quite liked me on our wedding day. Fortunately, my wife’s sharp wit did not spoil what had been a good day, as I was happy that my mini ruler had revealed that both of my arms are the same length. Now, where’s that plastic spider.

PS: Dan just called, (still insisting the stream was named after him) (- & my wife thinks I am the one who is an idiot?!), he now wanted to know the difference between a stream & a river! Will my quest for answers never be over!