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Sunday 27 June 2010

French for a day

A beautiful sunny sky welcomed my Saturday morning & I was up bright and early to go shopping for my wife’s birthday BBQ on Sunday. Plans had been made for a run around the village shops & then a godforsaken trip to Tesco’s.

On checking the website’s ‘Whats On Diary’ I spotted there was a ‘French Market’ in Christchurch. My wife was still in her blissful beauty sleep (takes a little bit more time these days) & she was unaware I now had a new plan. As she awoke from her slumbers, she stumbled bleary eyed into the lounge. I was sitting in a blue & white striped top with nonchalantly placed beret, reading an old copy of ‘Le Figaro’. I greeted her with a cheery ‘bonjour madame’. It is always hard to hear anything she mumbles before her second morning cup of tea, but she did manage a brief ‘idiot’ in my direction.

Whilst my wife reconstructed herself for the day, I sat reminiscing of 2007 & the time we emigrated to Deauville in France. It all came flooding back; my fluent pigeon French, our beachside home, friends visiting & of course the food markets. During our time in France I considered applying for French residency & a French passport. My wife insisted that I could not do this, as we hadn’t actually emigrated, but just had an extravagant six week holiday.

My wife then appeared resplendent in a new summer outfit from her magic wardrobe that contains ‘nothing to wear’, mumbling that she had decided to join me on my market trip. ‘Ah, that’s nice, you want us to go together’. ‘Not really’ she explained, ‘The last time you went to a French market you came back with some unidentifiable fish, some goose gizzards & a book in French neither of us could read’.

On the way over to Christchurch my wife was still in the grunting phase before normal conversation had been rediscovered from the second cup of tea kicking in. This did not however prevent a number of large ‘tuts’ relating to my driving. I commented that I could not understand how I used to drive up to 30,000 miles a year without her help, but from the blow I received to my arm I think she felt I was being sarcastic. As I awaited further driving instructions, I mused as to why the French do not have their own words for things like ‘au pair’, ‘saboteur’ or ‘eclair? My wife looked at me & simply said; ‘vous ĂȘtes un imbĂ©cile’, which I believe means ‘You are so clever’.

The French market was worth the effort, although small, it was perfectly formed. First stop was the cheese stall. As we tasted the cheese offered for ‘degustation’ I chatted in French to the stallholder, but he did not appear to fully understand me. I guessed that it must have been the ‘Northern French brogue’ I had acquired. My wife thought it was more likely because I made most of the words up & just added a silly accent. I hate to admit it, but she may be right. So I decided to just shout.

After purchasing our French cheeses, we then enjoyed the aroma & colourful displays from the stalls overflowing with fresh fruit, olives, meats & pates, there were also large ‘paella style’ pans offering hot garlic prawns & other Gallic concoctions. The hot crepes stall looked irresistible as my wife dragged me past, saying ‘oh no, you don’t want one of those’. I think it is wonderful how she always knows what I don’t want, when I actually think I do. Le Boulanger had a great trailer with three fully active bread ovens baking baguettes, loaves and croissants. My wife then imposed yet another ban, as I was instructed that ‘we don’t want any cakes from the Patisserie stall’. Blimey, she’d done it again, I thought I did want some, but somehow she knew I really thought that I didn’t.

By now I was getting slightly distressed as to who knew better what I wanted, & that she was winning. My wife then amazed me by deciding she wanted to buy some loose Breton biscuits. It was quite painful watching her putting occasional single biscuits in a bag, so I showed her how to do it properly by adding lots of biscuits by the handful. I think it ended up a little more expensive than she had imagined.

Before we left, my wife ‘needed’ to buy some shoes. (To go with the other few hundred pairs she already has.) I considered saying ‘you don’t want any shoes’, but I knew I would lose that one before I even started. ‘Wait here & don’t move’ I was instructed. Of course, as soon as she entered the shop I immediately disappeared. As she returned from her ‘essential shoe mission’ I was exactly where I had been instructed to stay, but it did not go unnoticed that I was just enjoying the last mouthful of a tasty hot crepe.

Before returning to the village to get our BBQ steaks, sausages, and some extra stuff, I was informed that we had to pop into Sainsbury’s to get some bits we couldn’t get in the village. Oh no, I hate supermarket shopping.

After patiently following my wife around some strange aisles, I got my customary chastising for wanting to take a bit of time looking at the different wines. Then, wine unread, we went to the till. I have to be honest supermarket shopping is one of my least favourite activities, but what is worse is queuing at the till, what is even worse is getting out of crowded supermarket car parks. The particular Sainsbury’s were we in had decided to have their car park designed by a Hungarian of the name of Erno Rubik, & he had managed to make it even more complicated to escape than his cube. Lucky it wasn’t really hot, - oh yes it was!

On returning home our lunch took us back to our life in Deauville, as we tucked into a fresh baguette, creamy goat’s cheese, ripe camembert & Normandy brie. I thought a glass or two of Dows vintage port would be a perfect accompaniment. ‘You will be asleep by 3pm’ my wife advised. ‘Not me’ I said.  To round off a perfect lunch I settled to watch the afternoon’s World Cup match.  I was delighted to prove her wrong by being awake at 3pm for the kick off, - but I did sleep through the second half though!

Saturday 12 June 2010

Free parking going at last!

Congratulations must go to our local New Forest District Council on their recent decision to remove the current free winter parking in the Lymington Quay car park from the 1st November to the end of February.

Milford on Sea beach & cliff car parks have not been mentioned, but it would be remiss of them not to include us as well. How they have previously missed this opportunity to increase revenue in this way is not explained, but we are pleased that they have got there in the end. Perhaps in the past, car parking charges did not apply during this period to encourage people to visit the village? The problem with this, is that it results in more people visiting & spending money, but of course these additional people can make the village look untidy.

Our village centre car park already happily charges all year round and it is clever how all of the village pay machines do not give change, which we are pleased to say squeezes extra cash from people who have not arrived with the correct coinage. To ensure that this over payment is a regular occurrence I love the way they cleverly apply different charges in various car park just to ensure that you can’t remember which change to bring. I particularly commend the wag at the council who included the statement on the pay machine instructions which says; ‘Overpayment Accepted’, that’s funny, very funny. Giving official permission to overpay could perhaps also be included on council tax & utility bills then we can all make our own extra little donations on a more regular basis.

It is unclear whether our glorious district councillors have yet spotted that we still have some free parking remaining in the High Street & we now look forward to the introduction of parking bay machines & more signs to enhance the quaint character of our village.

Some local motorists may say that they already pay road tax, fuel duty & council tax, but they are missing the point, just because you pay to drive, you shouldn’t expect to also be able to enjoy the places you visit. The council will now be able to derive additional benefits should they be successful in ensuring people avoid the village, as there are substantial additional hidden savings to be made in the reduction of road maintenance & cleaning costs.

Some may ask why we charge for parking in the village centre car park when people want to pop in to visit the shops. The giants of Tesco & the like mistakenly provide free parking because they believe that charging is a significant deterrent to shoppers, little do they know that our council know a lot more than they do. In my years of running multimillion pound businesses I obviously missed out on the benefits to be made by making it difficult for customers to buy from us.

Disappointingly, the ‘park & ride’ plan we never suggested has been shelved as the bus company could not afford the parking charges to allow people to get on & off. Our further suggestion of a ‘roulette park & ride’, where everyone had to jump on & off a moving bus, has also unfortunately been rejected by our friends at ‘health & safety’.

To help the council coffers Milford on Sea Food Week did it’s bit by bringing crowds into the village during a normally quiet April week. Thankfully our local council did not just accept the additional car parking income, but also supplied a team of traffic wardens to ensure that any parking offenders got a parking ticket. We of course also paid for the road to be closed for the Food Market. We are not sure how much extra the council made from the event but with a bit of luck it was more than the donation that Food Week made to the Community Centre.

When I was explaining the car park situation to my wife she wondered what would happen when the village is full of empty shops & the council have lost the council tax revenue paid by the shopkeepers. I of course have a simple solution, they can then double the car parking charges. The slow death of traditional High Street’s is often blamed on the supermarkets, but my wife reckons the council are actually doing a better job of getting rid of independent shopkeepers than the ‘big boys’.

A council spokesman was quoted in the Daily Echo as saying: “We’re looking at making charges applicable throughout the year because we are maintaining the car parks throughout the winter and are not receiving any income.” My wife suspects that ‘Mr council spokesman’ may be using maintenance as a bit of a red herring. I am guessing that if my wife could be bothered to have a conversation with the councillors responsible for this decision she would say; “No mate, your increase in revenue is not as important as the survival of our village centre’. If he had any sense he would not argue with her & just do as she says, I have many bruises to prove not agreeing is both futile & often painful. Just a thought, can someone tell me what significant ‘maintenance’ there is for a car park?! How about we maintain the car park? We have around 40 shops, if each contributed five pounds a week that would raise two hundred pounds weekly, and I reckon we could remove any weeds & keep the white lines lovely for that amount. My wife has suggested ‘Free two hour parking permits for residents’ to make it as easy as possible for everyone to support our village shops, but what would she know, she’s just a girl who can’t park properly anyway. Have you any idea how many extra people would shop in the village with that plan, and the additional wear & tear this would cause to our pavements!

Some cynics may say that the council now thinks of itself as a business, and may have forgotten that they are public servants, there to provide and support services for the community. Fortunately the district councillors that voted for this decision appear not to have taken into account the livelihood of our local shops, as of course a few extra quid in the councils pocket is much more important. It is always a pleasure to see our council demonstrate their commercial acumen and we can only applaud their ability to focus on raising revenue to fund critical projects like the numerous twelve foot signs along the seafront warning us that there is no lifeguard & that getting in the sea may make you wet, resurfacing the High Street in a nice sandy colour and spending one hundred & forty five thousand pounds on an essential luxury toilet block refurbishment in Keyhaven car park.

Whilst it is gratifying to witness the council maximising revenue through stealth taxes, I do not personally think these additional car parking charges go far enough. So I have another idea. It seems a little unfair that some people use the village centre pavements a bit more than others, so I think anyone stopping or walking slower than two miles an hour on the pavement should incur a charge of £1 per minute. To save costs, the collection can be made by the shop keepers as they can easily spot offenders, & of course the council are helping to ensure they are not wasting their time serving customers by keeping drivers out of the village.

An insider tells me of further council plans afoot to make the main road in & out of Milford on Sea a Toll Road, and also to tarmac the village green to make way for an industrial incinerator where can all empty our own rubbish bins. The removal of refuse collection lorries visiting the village will reduce carbon emissions & little old Milford can really do its bit to save the planet. Now all we need is a plan of what to do with the old shops once the council has emptied them.

Milford on Sea Village Open Gardens

A large variety of private gardens will be open across Milford on Sea village on Sunday 13th June & everyone is welcome. The pupils at Milford on Sea Pre-School will also be showing off their green fingered efforts with plants grown most from seeds & buckets of flowers, they have also made scarecrows & constructed windmills to give the garden even more colour & interest. Selected gardens will be serving tea & cake. If you would like to make a visit you can get a ticket in advance from Gwens or from the Village Green on the day. The five pound tickets gives you entry to all of the 15 to 20 village gardens which will be open & transport between the gardens is also available. The event has been organised by Milford Gardeners Club.


Milford on Sea Club looking to Help the Heroes

The Milford on Sea club is running a Help For Heroes Fundraising Night on Saturday 26th June. The club are aiming to raise around £10,000 for the 'Help For Heroes' charity & are hoping that members bring plenty of guests to enjoy the fun. The evening will be free for members, with a £1 charity box donations for members guests. The evening entertainment will be opened by State Trumpeters from The Blues and Royals, followed by burlesque dancers, wartime act, and a late night disco. Food will be served from an army style kitchen offering a curry and a BBQ. There will also be a Super Draw, a Raffle, and an Auction with an opportunity to bid for donated gifts, including a day out at Chewton Glen and a power boat racing experience. For more information please contact Mark Ketchen on 07967 547639

Martin off to World Cup

Martin Scott, from our local estate agents Murray & Hayward, is of on an all-expenses-paid five day trip to watch England take part in the World Cup. His trip to South Africa is courtesy of the prize draw he won at Everton Hyundai Garage, and includes two tickets to watch England take on Slovenia on the 23rd June 2010.

In spite of my offer to accompany him he has decided to take his friend Rob Crouch. Let’s hope they have a great time & see our team progress in style. Everton Hyundai Garage website:
http://www.evertonhyundai.co.uk/

Saturday 29 May 2010

Milford wins top status in Good Beach Guide

The Marine Conservation Society has again listed Milford on Sea beach as having one of best beach conditions in the country. This follows similar status awards made in 2009 & 2008. The Marine Conservation Society’s Good Beach Guide has awarded Milford on Sea Beach their top ‘MCS Recommended’ status, which recognises the highest UK standard for bathing water quality. Our beach is also one of a few holding this status whilst still allowing dogs onto the beach.

Dogs on beaches is always an active area for debate, and our Parish Council recognises the pleasure many responsible local & visiting dog walkers take from our seafront. It is nice to see a local government body that does not take the view to punish the many, for the irresponsible behaviour of a few. Fortunately we are well served with dog bins & good canine walkers are easily recognised by bulging pockets of plastic bags. I think you may find that the good dog owners possibly find the irresponsible dog owners even more offensive than everyone else does. Perhaps a way to deal with the few offenders we have, could be the installation of ‘Taser Stations’ every hundred yards. Then any of us could give any offenders a quick electric shock to explain to them that cleaning up would be appreciated.

With the latest good news about our beach, I may have to rethink my plans on waiting for the sea to warm up before attempting to go swimming. Looks like it may be time to apply a liberal coating of goose fat & get my Speedo’s on!

Marine Conservation Society – Good Beach Guide website:

Anyone seen Vic?

We have been contact by Brian Mundy who is looking for an old friend. Brian used to live in River Gardens in Milford on Sea around 30 years ago & he now resides in Surrey, at that time he had a very good friend called Vic Grant that he would like to find. The last address that Brian had for Vic was 'Glengarry' in Park Close. He also recalls that Vic was a member of Milford Club, where Brian sometimes did a Disco. If anyone knows where Vic is please let us know & we will put Brian in touch with him.

Bank Holiday Jewellery Sale

The temporary outlet shop ‘Silverbox’ on the old site of Allure Ladies Fashions in Church Hill, Milford on Sea is holding a Jewellery Outlet Sale. The sale will run every day across this Bank Holiday weekend. They will be offering a minimum 60% off retail prices on individual Italian jewellery, plus several ex-display one-off pieces. Once the stock is sold the shop will then start preparations to re-open as Le Petit Monde Patisserie.

Milford Korean War Veteran remembers Singapore

Last year we ran a story about Derek Newland & fellow servicemen on RAF National Service during the Korean War 1951-1953. We have now received another recollection from Derek which we are more than happy to share with you.

“In the early 1950’s I was posted to RAF Seletar in Singapore 205 Squadron as a clerk looking after five 4-Engined Sunderland Flying Boats. As such I did all of the documentation for the flying crews & ground servicemen, engine mechanics, airframe mechanics & electrical wireless fitters, which was a fulltime job then. We did three months in Singapore, then a week on sea rescue duty in Hong Kong, followed by three months at Iwakoni in Japan. When moving around not all of our men could get back to Singapore on the Sunderland’s at times. After one particular detachment we got transported on a York 4-Engined Transport Plane, only to have one of the engines fail. We were forced put into the huge USAF Air Base at Clark Field near Manila in the Philippines for an engine change. We were there for a week, with no money whilst we waited for the replacement engines to come from Singapore. What an education, we came across for the first time small individual cartons of cornflakes & small cartons of milk, not milk out of a churn or cornflakes from a big tub as we were used too. Grilled streaky bacon, fried eggs – ‘easy over, smashed or sunnyside up’, iced tea or coffee in mugs with no handles. These ‘Yanks’ certainly lived it up there. We got friendly some of the Americans who took us to a ‘drive-in cinema’ for the first time and we sat in their cars eating popcorn & drinking Coke. The Korean War was good for a few of us & leaves good memories from 60 years ago.”

Derek lives in Sea Road, Milford on Sea & is an active member of Milford on Sea Bowling Club, he can often be seen around the village on his bike.

RAF Seletar Association Website:


Derek’s Previous Story

Reading some old archives in the Daily Echo, we came across the following fascinating story that we thought was worth sharing:

Chatting with two fellow bowlers at the Milford on Sea Bowling Club in 2003, Derek Newland got on to the subject of the Korean War in the early 1950s. Derek, of Sea Road, Milford on Sea, commented that he did most of his National Service at Iwakuni, an RAF detachment station about eight miles from Hiroshima in Japan. "Blimey," said ex-Bowls club captain Sam Randle, "I was there, too!" "So was I!" said Jim Donaldson. "What a coincidence - to be 11,000 miles away from the UK together and not know each other". Jim and Derek were on the same troopship HMT Lancashire at the same time but didn't know each other. Jim was in the Army section of the ship and Derek in the RAF side.

Derek was a Leading Aircraftman and 205 Squadron Clerk in 1951 and travelled with the squadron wherever their three serviceable Sunderland Flying Boats were sent in the Far East. Derek wrote: "The job of the Sunderland’s in Japan was to take aerial photographs in Tsushima Straits between Korea and Japan of merchant ships carrying Russian tanks and guns between Cuba and Korea. Also they were an air-sea rescue service. The aircraft did eight-hour patrols in all weather every day in conjunction with American mariner Flying Boats, dividing the 24-hour day between them."

Sam Randle was a Sergeant Flight Engineer with 88 Squadron, also on four-engined Sunderland’s and travelled with his three aircraft wherever they went. Jim Donaldson was a Corporal in the Army Medical Service with the 26th Field Ambulance Corps in Korea. On one occasion he injured his hand and was flown to a military hospital in Kure in an old Australian Dakota (DC3) so old that, Jim said, "he could see daylight through the closed door".

Derek finished his letter saying that considering there were only 35 RAF Personnel in the whole of Japan at any one time it was a big coincidence for all three Milford-on-Sea bowlers to be on the same unit at the same time. He would like to know if any other Sunderland men or "Kypper fleet" men as they were known are living in the Hampshire or Dorset area who were at RAF Iwakuni early in 1950/52. Derek can be contacted on 01590 642134.

Saturday 22 May 2010

Happy Birthday to Us!

Our website is now one year old & it has been fun! When we decided to create this website it was purely as a hobby & to provide some more local information about the village. I say ‘we’, but there is only me, my wife (who inadvertently provides story lines) & our two dogs (who contribute much less than they should!) From day one we have always loved our independence, and as we take no revenue from anyone this means we can say & do exactly what we like! We never really considered that people would enjoy what we built, however it is very satisfying to provide a service to the local community which a number of people seem to enjoy. The site has now taken on a life of its own & a small hobby has now turned into a big one! The most regularly visited pages on the site are the News, What’s On Calendar and Where to Eat in Milford on Sea.

We now have 620 local people who regularly receive our e-mail News Bulletins & we are always looking for more people to join us, so if you can spread the word to any friends, family or neighbours who you think would like to get our newsletter please ask them to register on the link below, or drop me an e-mail at david@milfordonsea.org. We can then ensure all of our community are kept informed of local news, which on some occasions contain actual facts!

Thanks to the wonders of Google Analytics we also know that we have had 146,134 visits to the site since we launched last year, & in the past month we have been getting over 160 visitors per day. To delve even deeper, we have found that the average visit lasts over 5 minutes, with an average of 4 pages being visited, & 66% of all visits are from people new to the site. Thanks for your support & for as long as you keep reading, I’ll keep writing!

Join our E-Newsletter: www.milfordonsea.org/join-us

Braxton Gardens Launch Summer Musical Evenings

A range a free music is going to be available at Braxton Gardens from Friday 28th May and running all the way through to the end of August. Friday evenings will feature a classical guitarist from 6pm to 9pm, and on Sunday evenings a Jazz duo will provide entertainment from 6pm to 8.30pm. Food, beer and wine will be available on both evenings, and we hear that both professional acts have a good local reputation. Braxton Gardens are also looking for another act to fill a regular Saturday evening spot, so if you know of anyone who is interested they can give Neil Munton a call on 01590 645663.

Braxton Gardens website:

Saturday 15 May 2010

Milford on Sea Dining & Accommodation Guide

Having had such fun with Milford on Sea Food Week we wanted to find a way to keep celebrating the great places we have to eat & stay in the village. We also want to put Milford on Sea on the map as the place to dine out. So, we are now onto our next project!, which is a ‘Milford on Sea Dining & Accommodation Guide’. We recently launched the concept at a ‘Traders Meeting’ generously hosted by Pat Ogden at The White Horse. The guide will contain a listing of all of the places to stay & eat in the village, and we hope will encourage people to try out the great variety of eating places we all have in the village. The support of the restaurants, pubs, bistros & tea shops has been fabulous & nearly all of them are offering ‘free discount vouchers’ in the pages of the guide.

We are now printing 10,000 copies of the guide (yes, 10,000!) & these will be available free to both holidaymakers & all locals in the village shops, eateries, B&B’s, self catering premises, Shorefield, local tourism offices & anywhere else we can find to give them to people! In addition to the free discount dining vouchers, the Milford on Sea Dining & Accommodation Guide also contains a map of where to find all of our local dining places. To ensure that everyone has the opportunity to visit & try out new eating places we have also added the free discount vouchers to this website, which you can view on the link below. To fund the project our local food establishments are paying for their vouchers & we have also been fortunate in securing sponsorship support from ‘Brand New Forest’ at the NFDC. The remaining costs are covered from the ‘fighting fund’ we had retained from Food Week. The guide should be printed in the next three weeks, we hope you enjoy it!

Dinning vouchers online & map of restaurants:

Wednesday 12 May 2010

Red Lion Live ‘n Kickin' this Saturday

A favourite local band will be playing at the Red Lion this coming Saturday evening. Live ‘n Kickin' comprises of a number of local faces & was formed about 6 months ago. Since then they have played around three times a month since & were last at the Red Lion in December. On lead vocals, guitar and keyboard is Adrian Withers a well known face in the village. Unfortunately this will be Adrian’s last Milford gig as he is moving to Cornwall on the 25th May. Adrian has played & helped out with many other local bands over the last years, & has made regular appearances at the village Milford on Sea Arts & Music Festival, we think he must be the one of the most recognised faces in the Milford on Sea music scene! His son, Jason, is again from the village & a number of people will also know from his day job at Collins & Butler. In the band he plays guitar and backing vocals, & he has been gigging locally for many years. The rest of the band comprises of Roger, on bass with a fantastically over-elaborate style! Roger lives in Poole, most well known from playing in his original band called 'Mission Impossible', Bournemouth based band of 25 years. You will find Damian on Drums and backing vocals, he lives near Southampton, & also plays in a band called 'The Shift'. The Live ‘n Kickin' band covers a range of music from Pink Floyd, Gary Moore, Cheap Trick, Lynyrd Skynyrd... & to keep everyone happy there are a few more up-to-date numbers thrown in! So, if you can make it on Saturday it sounds like the Red Lion will be rocking!

Where there's a Will there's a Film

We now have another film of the Food Market for you to enjoy. The film was created by Will Mann, who’s Mum & close family live in Milford on Sea. His video production company, E-Motion Productions based in London, have made the film free of charge, no doubt with the encouragement of ‘Mum’! The film features interviews with a number of the local traders & New Forest food producers. To keep things in the family, the interviewer is Sue Tobitt, who is Will’s aunt. Nice work Will!


Duncan’s Classic Mini off to Brighton

Duncan Broomfield from Sullivan Mitchell is off to compete in the London to Brighton Rally this weekend. Duncan has a classic 1969 Mk2 Mini Cooper & unlike the editor he can fit in it. Before joining Sullivan Mitchell, Duncan had previously worked at Murray Hayward in Milford on Sea for 7 years, & before this he spent 7 years in the RAF Police serving on overseas detachments and in UK bases. Let’s all hope his car makes it & he is not stopped by the real police!

Sullivan Mitchell website: http://www.sullivanmitchell.net/

Dan the new Co-Op Man

Our Milford on Sea local Co-Op now has a new manager. The new man is Dan Haynes, who originates from New Milton. The previous manager, Leon, has moved to a store nearer his home close to Southampton.

Wednesday 5 May 2010

Stuck on Beach Pebble Mountain

If you have strolled along the beach recently you will have noticed that the beach keeps growing - upwards!

We decided to go and take a look, & were met by a stone cliff face with a fierce drop of around twelve foot down to the sea edge. I decided to try and get down, this wasn’t difficult, as once you were sliding there was no way to stop 20 stone of muscle! (well, mostly err... some muscle)

My wife for some reason was very amused, & whilst it is always a pleasure to see her smiling, it was a shame that her mirth was purely based on how I was going to get back up.

Milford on Sea Beach in calmer times!
No problem, I thought to myself as I took a run up. I progressed two strides up & was soon back where I started. On numerous attempts the shifting stones had no trouble to move faster than my size twelves & I soon became accustomed to sliding backwards. In fact over the time I think I perfected an Olympic standard rearwards slide. The dogs thought it was great fun to regularly visit me & then run back up to show how easy it is when you are fit & have four legs.

By now my wife’s cackling had reached a level where I really hoped she’d wet herself. Her help was restricted to useful comments like ‘Do you want me to find an elephant to pull you out?’ Dismissing the idea of calling the coastguard I resorted to one last plan, so on all fours & with the help of the sea groynes, I made my way back up in the most dignified manner I could. Waiting for my congratulations, & perhaps a small round of applause, I soon realised my wife had got bored & walked home.

For those that like some useful information in a story, I can tell you that the Milford on Sea beach is once again being replenished with approximately 10,000 tonnes of additional beach material. This coastal works is to provide continued protection to the beach frontage at Milford on Sea. The New Forest District Council has secured £310,000 from the Environment Agency to carry out the works, which started on 19 April and is expected to last for three weeks. The bid for funding was made following last year's storm damage, which resulted in substantial loss of beach material. It seems good news to me that a focus remains on maintaining the coastal defenses for us all – even if traps me by the sea.

On arriving home I muttered, ‘I wonder how many pebbles they have used on the beach?’. My wife said ‘I hope you don’t intend to count them’, & then enjoyed recalling how I had once spent two days counting the hairs on my legs. For some reason she felt this was of no real value, but then again she wouldn’t understand a man’s need to know such things. Us men enjoy doing some strange things, & I defy any bloke left alone in a room with a tea cosy not to put it on their head at some stage.

New Jewellery Shop & Village Patisserie

A new shop ‘Silverbox’ was open in the village on Bank Holiday Monday on the old site of Allure Ladies Fashions in Church Hill, Milford on Sea. The temporary outlet shop was offering a stylish range of ‘Silverbox’ Italian silver designer style jewellery at outlet prices, there was also a range of Italian handbags. The jewellery is from another business owned by Val & Nick (from Piccolo Mondo), which sells a selection of individual Italian jewellery from Val’s own brand jewellery range (Silverbox). The couple took the opportunity to offer some special prices on end of line, display & sample stocks. Silverbox will again be offering items from their range at outlet prices on the weekend of the Spring Bank Holiday between 29th & 31st May 2010.

Nick & Val also run the Piccolo Mondo restaurant in the village. Having now taken over the ‘old Allure’ site they are currently preparing the shop to open as a Patisserie in July. We understand that ‘Le Petit Monde Patisserie’ will offer a delightful range of patisseries & fresh breads. The new bakery will also offer fresh croissants, pain au chocolat, loaves, speciality breads, cup cakes, family cakes, individual desserts, apple tarts, Ă©clairs, pizza slices, savoury pasties, pies, sandwiches & takeaway lunches. In fact a list of my favourite diet! Roll on July!!

May Fayre Fun

The annual Milford on Sea May Fayre survived some suspect weather to once again put on a great show for the village. The Milford on Sea Village Green was festooned with colour & a variety of side stalls offering gifts, hot food, local charity displays & my favourite; the WI cake stall! The children had plenty to entertain them with the bouncy castles, climbing wall & regular ‘Punch & Judy’ shows. At the centre of the village green stood the traditional May Pole, where in the afternoon our local children had great fun showing us their May Pole dancing. The afternoon concluded with the crowning of this year’s May Queen. Once again Ray Sales & the team on the VCC had put on a great show for all in the village. Well done all.

Bandstand for Seafront

The Parish Council has received positive feedback from the District Council about using the sea front shelter near the Needles Eye Cafe as a bandstand.

The Milford on Sea Parish Council are now looking for someone to put on a Summer Show or two to see how the project can be bought to fruition. One of the suggestions made has been about holding a ‘Picnic on the Lawn’ for all of the family. This all sounds like a good idea to us. The entertainment certainly seems in tune with the village character. Hopefully our local bands, choir & musicians will take up the opportunity & give us all some pleasant afternoons & evenings enjoying music by the sea. 
Milford on Sea Parish Council website: http://www.milfordonsea.org.uk/

Flower and Produce Show – Enter Now

Looking forward to the summer the Milford on Sea Flower and Produce Show is due to take place on July 17th on the village green. There are a wide choice of classes. As well as Flowers, Fruit, and Vegetables, there will also be Craft, Photography, Baking, and classes especially for children of 12 and under. For anyone who wishes to enter any of the categories the free Schedules for the Show are now available from Gwen’s, and other High Street shops. Just look for the ‘Schedules Here’ notice is in the window. This event is one that will allow almost everyone to find something to interest them and help maintain the traditional atmosphere of a village show, so we hope that everyone who has ever said 'mine is as good as that' will plan their entries and be part of it.

Thursday 29 April 2010

Food Week donates £4500 to Community Centre

After all of the great fun that was had during Milford on Sea Food Week we have recently had the great pleasure of donating £4500 to the Milford on Sea Community Centre. Food Week was never run as a fund raising event, but thanks to everyone who bought a programme or raffle ticket, our sponsors & the participants who made a donation, we have raised some valuable funds which we know will be spent for the benefit of everyone in the village. We were also very happy to hear that a number of charities that joined in with our various events managed to raise over £1600 for their own good causes.

In addition to the Community Centre donation we have also been able to retain a ‘fighting fund’ to enable us to create more future initiatives in the village & to prepare for next year’s event. Thank you to everyone who parted with their hard earned cash in whatever way you did. Milford on Sea is, as we all know, a special place, & this is in no small part because of people who live & work here. Hopefully you tried something new in the village during Food Week & it would be great if we can all continue to support our village shops & eateries – they are worth it! Off to start planning next year now, & if there is anything new you would like us to include please just let me know.  |  http://www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/

Take a Guided Village Tour

Our parish Community Tourism Group are running a number of Village Guided Walks. The first walk is next Wednesday 5th May 2010 & it is a great opportunity to find out a bit more about Milford on Sea & the village in which we live. All of the family are welcome, simply meet at the Village Green at 10.30am to join the tour, which will conclude at All Saints' Church at noon for refreshments. The cost is only £1 per adult with all children free.

Our Community Tourism Group will also hold guided walks at the same time on Wednesday 2nd June, 7th July & 4th August 2010. In addition to this, the Lymington Town Tours team are also running guided walks in the village. Dates for all of these walks can be found in our ‘Whats On’ pages.

Jazz Swing in May

The next Jazz Swing session is on 28th May at South Lawn Hotel and features ‘SubbDance’ who we hear are a great band to dance to. Everyone is welcome & the admission is £4. After that there will be no more Jazz/Swing evenings until September 24th when it will be held at the new Community Centre and will feature a perennial favourite ‘The Regular Joes’.

Danes ‘Stream' or 'River’? - An Update

Since recently publishing the story below, I have heard from Terry Langford. Now this is quite scary on two levels, firstly it means that someone reads the nonsense I write, & secondly he knows what he is talking about, something I have never claimed to do!

Terry writes: Dear Ed, As a freshwater biologist for over 50 years, I regard the Dane stream as a "stream", one of the suite of New Forest streams, albeit more urbanised than most. Actually, the definition is immaterial...a stream or river to most of us is what we want it to be. In America the Dane stream would probably be called a ditch. The Danes stream is quite interesting ecologically in that it suffers urban run-off but still manages to hold a head of sea-trout, quite large some of them. It has mayflies too, but the fauna is not a diverse as those of the less urbanised streams. There seem to be no major inherent problems apart from the urban run-off in the stream above Milford, but it is interesting. Probably a bit too much silt near the bridge but that is because the channel is too wide for the low flows and silt settles out then.

So there you have it, you can call it what you like, you can fish for the odd sea-trout, & if you hear an American call it a ditch, tell them that it is a river which is full of salmon.

ORIGINAL STORY:
You may recall that a few months ago I had a debate on these pages (mainly with myself), as to which was correct ‘Danes Stream’, Danestream’, or even ‘Dane Stream’. That research was inconclusive & as you may recall that I put several ridiculous arguments to ensure the confusion continued. Anyway, my friend Dan (who ludicrously claimed the stream was named after him!), wanted to know whether it was a stream, or as he suspected, was it actually a river? Naturally, I had no idea, & Dan is normally wrong about most things, but I felt that it was another excuse to do some more inane research. I thought it might be best to start with a definition of a river. "A river is a natural stream of water, usually freshwater, flowing toward the ocean, a lake, or another stream. Usually larger streams are called rivers while smaller streams are called creeks, brooks, rivulets, rills, and many other terms, but there is no general rule that defines what can be called a river.” Blimey, we may have a ‘Creek’?! I had been hoping that my research would have ended with the definition & I could then go down to the Smugglers, but a statement like ‘no general rule that defines what can be called a river’ really doesn’t help. To steel myself for the next phase of this challenge I did what all self respecting sudo-geographers do, I asked my wife to get me a beer from the fridge. A couple of minutes later I was back, having been to the fridge myself as my darling had gently suggested this was a better option. Back to work, my next discovery was a New Forest District Council planning application which contained ‘an advisory comment from the Environment Agency, that no development should take place within 8 metres of the Danestream River.’ River?, it’s a river! Next, I found on the web the Parish Council News from October 2003, which referred to the ‘Footpath & Danes Stream River Revetment Work’. Oh no, Why is my life so complicated? I now have to find out what ‘Revetment’ means. Hang on a second. Ah, right, Revetment means ‘a facing of stones, sandbags, etc., to protect a wall, embankment, or earthworks’ or ‘A barricade against explosives’. My guess is that they were referring to the first definition. The Department of Geography at the University of Portsmouth, have a record of the ‘Hampshire Olim Pars Belgarum County Map’ by John Norden in 1595, on this our little waterway is indexed as Danes Stream & it also shows two tributaries that flow into it upstream. (Just like a river?) By now I was getting bored reading maps with silly names, & my wife’s legs still had no intention of going anywhere near the fridge, so I used my own to pop down to The Smugglers. A couple of pints later I was on my way home when my quest returned to haunt me. Walking down Sea Road & over Danes Stream, I spotted a road name sign saying ‘River Gardens’, now even more fuel was added to the fire. My final investigation found that our very own Parish Vision 2020 refers to the ‘Danestream River.’ So there you have it, our stream may well be a river. Unfortunately, Eastenders had now finished & my wife had decided to take an interest in what I was up to, rather than Pete Beale or whoever else shouts in that daft soap. I suddenly wished that it had been an hour long episode when she said “I'd say that any water that flows could be considered a stream, but a large stream is a river, & boats go on rivers not streams” Great, just when I thought that I had sorted it for all mankind. Only one answer to solve it then. If you see a large man in shorts, with a canoe on his back heading towards the river/stream’s mouth at Sturt Pond, don’t stop me, I will be on a mission to see if I can get from one end to the other!  www.milfordonsea.org/news

Sunday 18 April 2010

Sunday | Milford on Sea Food Week Diary

Shorts have had a long week, but they were still on duty for the last day. Today was an early (if what fuzzy headed), start as I arrived in the High Street at 7.30am. The local residents had done a great job in keeping the High Street clear of cars overnight, so we were immediately ready to start setting up the arriving market stalls on the village green and in the closed High Street. The first Milford on Sea Food Market opened at 10am & immediately throngs of people started to arrive. It soon became clear that in addition to the locals, large numbers of people were attending from outside the village. All of the stalls were buzzing as they presented their wares & it was great to see people so interested in the local produce available. As the day continued, the crowd just kept growing & it was not long before people could only shuffle between stalls. The village was vibrant & there was a great atmosphere everywhere. All day our squadron of raffle ticket sellers attacked visitors from every direction, obtaining any loose cash they could from unsuspecting market goers. Around midday a reader of these pages arrived & introduced himself. It was Rick, an ex-resident of Milford on Sea, who had travelled over specially from his home in Germany, he had also been joined by his sister from France. Oh yes, Milford on Sea has international appeal! Rick (who used to be called Rex, but that’s a long story), had generously bought me a large glass keg of his local German beer to enjoy. The Plonkers were now in full swing with their cider enhanced agricultural music & every hot food stall had constant queues for hours. Our local village shops had enthusiastically supported the Food Market & many had opened specially for the Sunday, so it was great to see them also doing a brisk trade. Our local restaurants, cafes and pubs also happily fed the hungry visitors, & available tables were at a premium. By mid-afternoon many of the stalls sold out of stock, as no-one had really expect the number of people who came to visit. We estimate over 5000 passed through the Food Market. Whilst feeling a bit daft in my (far too small) high visibility waistcoat, I chatted to lots of people during the day. I was particularly pleased to hear from some local B&B owners that they had some extra bookings this week from people who had just come to visit the Food Week. Some had even already rebooked having discovered the pleasures of Milford on Sea for the first time. I also discovered from Katie that the Food Market had been mentioned in the church service this morning, how good to have an endorsement in such high places. When telling my wife, I asked her if she thought the Vicar might do a quick advert for this website next week, but she didn’t reply and just wandered off muttering ‘Why did I have to be the one who was lumbered with the village idiot.’ In the late afternoon we decided it would be fun to have the local children draw the winning raffle tickets. All went well until one little lad decided the ticket he drew could be kept, as he ran back into the crowd to Mum & Dad. A few seconds later he was dragged back by his brother & sister, but he still used all the strength he had until I could prise the ticket from his hand.

As the market drew to a close, & the stalls packed up, it soon became clear that the great team effort had created a magnificent close to an exciting first Food Week. Also all of the visitors had kept the market area clear of litter, this may seem a silly point, but to me it shows a respect for our village by everybody that came. With so many visitors to the Food Market from outside of the area we hope that many will continue to return having now discovered the delights our village has to offer. Our charming little seaside village certainly eats well & knows how to throw a party, perhaps Rick Stein and Padstow should keep one eye our vibrant community, as we are looking to get on the map fine food!

As we sat in the warm sunny Sunday evening with our friends Colin & Trish, and Steve & pregnant Liz, we enjoyed Rick’s German beer & reflected on the fun we had all enjoyed during the week. My wife even liked me for a little while. It was pretty special to spend time with my Mum, many friends & neighbours. It was also heart-warming to see the whole village pull together to make everything happen, and to see the joy on people’s faces at lots of events was a complete delight. Food week has gone way beyond our expectations in terms of support and popularity, and despite us both aching in muscles we did not even know we had, it has been really rewarding to see everyone having a great time.

Today’s weight: 0 stone 0 lbs (Scales only go up to 20 stone! & have now exploded) | Off to plan Milford on Sea Diet Week now.

*Steve has done a ‘You Tube’ montage of images from the Food Market. To watch, please click the link below.

Saturday | Milford on Sea Food Week Diary

I woke up regretting the night before as predicted, but I was pleased to discover my shorts were still working as another clear blue sunny sky greeted me in the morning. Dave was up bright & early, as he was off to the FA Cup semi final after breakfast. I was ready for another day meandering around the village on a food hunt. On my travels around the village all week I was now regularly bumping into the same people that had been at the many events. A few looked at the big bloke in shorts quite suspiciously, I think they may have been concerned that they had gained a personal stalker during Food Week. Undeterred by the strange looks I may get, I popped into the village for a bacon sandwich at Polly’s Pantry.

At the Church Hall, Judith was once again holding a cookery demonstration on ‘Cooking for 1 or 2’. Yet again we had another well attended event & I played my part by sampling all of the food available. At one stage I became a bit concerned that she was making cooking these meals look a bit too easy, fortunately I never retained any of the information & can continue to rely on my wife being in charge of our kitchen. (If anyone would like to see Judith’s recipes, they are now in the ‘Village Recipe Book on the Food Week website: www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/recipe-book)

At lunchtime our friends Steve & Liz arrived to stay for the weekend. As we had lunch in the garden at the Smugglers Inn we were about to receive some very unexpected news.... Liz was pregnant! Fantastic news, but I never thought I would see a forty something confirmed bachelor chatting about the merits of terry towelling nappies. So many unexpected great things have happened this week. Over on the village green we were entertained as we watched Lindsay, sat in a bath getting covered in baked beans. The kids seemed to really enjoy the fun & making a tomato mess. Apparently she doesn’t do this every weekend, but the way she enjoyed it I’m not so sure. I heard later that Lindsay raised £303 for the Women for Women Charity. Next stop was ‘Michelle’s Vegetable Patch’ to see how she successfully grows vegetables in Milford on Sea. The front of her family home in Keyhaven Road held no clue to the great work she had done in her back garden. Michelle enthusiastically explained to the hoards of visitors about her experimental growing methods, whilst the chickens at the end of the garden just happily clucked away.

The evening was enjoyed by many attending the meal in the Church Hall, prior to the ‘Music for Spring Concert’ performed by Milford Musicale in All Saints Church, the Five Course Gourmet Evening was also taking place at Westover Hall Hotel. We opted for a takeaway curry from Zaika, a bottle of wine & an early night ready for the Food Market tomorrow morning. Well that was the plan, but at well past midnight we had failed on the ‘early night’ bit, & the bottle of wine had expanded into a variety of alcoholic beverages. With friends & a wife like mine I never learn.

Today’s weight: 19 stone 15 lbs (Scales really struggling now)

See the photo’s & stories from each day at:
www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/2010-diary

Friday-Milford on Sea Food Week Diary

Blue sky, shorts on, I was ready for another day munching across the village. I headed for the start of the ‘Make More Room for Food’ Walk. The assembled crowd seemed keen for an energetic ramble, & I mused about joining in. But, on reflection they looked a bit too keen at walking for me, so I decided to go for a bacon sandwich in Polly’s Pantry instead. My mate Dave was due to arrive for the night, so unfortunately no time to get to the First Friday Charity Lunch. The plan for the afternoon was to enjoy the Pudding Afternoon at Westover Hall, my wife had decided to miss this one as she is not a chocoholic (I know, she’s very strange). Dave’s eyes however lit up at the idea, so the two of us skipped up Park Lane to the hotel. I guess it looked a bit odd, but Dave seemed to enjoy it, & the exercise was good for me. A menu greeted us with around twenty pudding choices, from which we could select two each. Over a coffee we made our selection & waited in anticipation. When they arrived, each dish was art on a plate, which came as no surprise when we learned that the chef had been trained at the Michelin starred Le Gavroche Restaurant in London. In my normal style a hiccup occurred when my phone rang to tell me the skip for the Food Market was arriving in the village. By the time I had returned fifteen minutes later, Dave had eaten his two puddings. In fact to be more accurate he had eaten one of his, & the banana one I was particularly looking forward to. To make matters worse I had wanted to take photos of them all for the website. Dave’s yelp as I kicked him in the shin was only heard by the closest waitress. Ignoring his pain, I tucked into his sticky toffee pudding and my amazing chocolate stove. Yes, a model stove made out of dark & milk chocolate, filled with chocolate mousse & complimented with two chocolate saucepans containing two fruit sauces. All of the puddings were exotic & delicious creations. As we left we gave our compliments, Rachel told us no one has so far been able to eat a complete chocolate stove, little did she know that I had left an empty plate.


After a swift beer & afternoon nap it was time to head for Ashtons Real Estate’s ‘Cheese & Wine Evening’, a lively throng of local residents were already enjoying themselves & it was not long before we all had a glass of wine in hand. There was also an impressive spread of fine cheeses & olives which I quickly tucked into. All of the food & wine served had been generously supplied by Paul from Hollands. We had heard all week that people had been having a fun time at Belle Epoque, and had planned to pop in, but unfortunately time was against us, as we wanted to get to Braxton Gardens to see the village’s Total Voice Choir’s second performance of the week.

Tonight people were also arriving at South Lawn Hotel to enjoy the ‘Chefs Fish & Seafood Night’ & Westover Hall were hosting a sold out ‘Five Course Gourmet Evening’. As we drove past the village green we spotted Dave Gregory’s village minibus operating a free shuttle bus service that was taking people up to Braxton Gardens. On arriving, there was no available parking spaces & the closest we could park was near Lytton Lawn Touring Park. I suggested calling a taxi, but Dave & my wife thought it would be fine to walk to the concert. On arrival we found there had been an unfortunate hiccup with the cocktail & canapĂ©s, but the assembled crowd of around 200 were still in good spirits & spread across the gardens in anticipation. As the choir paraded onto the floodlit terrace everyone became very excited. The outdoor performance gave the night a special atmosphere, as our local choir demonstrated their fine harmonies & impressive solo’s. The fine dry evening had a slight spring chill, but no one seemed to notice, as after every song the audience burst into rapturous hand warming applause. During a minor technical microphone hitch, a wag in the crowd started an impromptu acapella song & he was soon joined by other members of the audience in party mood. It was impossible for anyone there on the night not to have been proud of the new choir we now have in the village.

On the way home we grabbed a takeaway pizza from Piccolo Mondo. Once home, we opened one of the bottles of Row Ash Red wine we had bought on a Food Week special offer from WineShak, the wine had been made in their own Wickham Vineyard in the countryside near Southampton. Not normally someone who would buy English wine, I was very pleased to find it had the flavour of a good French Beaujolais. The evening then took its expected course, as Dave & my wife encouraged me to stay up late enjoying more drink & conversation. I think I will regret this in the morning.

Today’s weight: 19 stone 14 lbs (Scales creaking a little bit)

See the photo’s & stories from each day at:
www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/2010-diary

Tuesday 13 April 2010

Thursday | Milford on Sea Food Week Diary

My wife awoke startled this morning as I shouted ‘I’ve done it!’ at the top of my voice. What have you done she asked blearily. ‘It’s sunny, my shorts have worked, I’ve done it!’ I repeated. She took a swing, but with the restriction from her nightie she missed. Mum & friends are going home today, so we have a treat in store for lunchtime, but before that my wife thought a walk along the beachfront was in order. I joined in, but as they got halfway through their marathon trek I made a weak excuse & disappeared to ‘learn how to taste wine’ at Braxton Gardens. Shorefield also had another fun day running. Now peckish, I returned to collect the family & we made our way to Verveine Fishmarket Restaurant. The restaurant was full and the food exquisite. We all had the full three courses with all the special extra touches the team took so much care over. The world felt a great place to be, & it got even better when Gary insisted on paying, which I think was his way of trying to repay me for causing my morning headache.

Over the road the RNLI were having a very well attended Cheese & Wine Lunch with a Quiz. Late afternoon Mum & friends were off on their way home & I suggested to my wife an afternoon tea at Polly’s Pantry. Although she didn’t reply I could tell by her snoring that she was a bit too tired to go out just yet.

The evening was a bit of relay to take photo’s at various venues. First stop was Westover Hall Hotel where we were greeted by trees decked in Spanish Flags & bunting around the door. As we entered the Spanish guitarists were in full swing & champagne was flowing. The dining guests looked very smart & were already creating a party atmosphere. I tried to discreetly take some photo’s, but that is quite difficult when you are six foot two & of portly build. (Portly?, porky more like.) Next stop was the Folk Club & Chilli Night at South Lawn Hotel. When we arrived the chilli had already been served and a floor singer was up on stage. I got quite confused as to what he was singing about, but the sixty or so folk music aficionado’s seemed to understand. My wife reckoned it was about his dead dog & cider. I am not sure she was right, but before we could find out we were off to our next venue. Our final stop of the night was at Bon AppĂ©tit where we fortunately got a table to enjoy the late night Sweet & Savoury Crepes Evening. We decided to have one of each kind, and there are no prizes for guessing that I had the sweet one. By now it was getting a bit too late to make Verveine’s Tasting Banquet, so we called it a night with a swift night cap in The Smugglers.

Today’s weight: 19 stone 12 lbs | See the photo’s & stories from each day at:

Wednesday | Milford on Sea Food Week Diary

Had a bit of hangover this morning, why are all of my friends such a bad influence? My wife’s singing is quite painful at the best of times, but this morning she was hitting notes which I am sure would have permanently deafened passing seagulls. I’m not sure why she was singing, but I think my delicate state was enough cause for her solo celebration. Around 10 o’clock our friends waddled in having had another full breakfast after their stay at Westover Hall. This morning was the Family Food Fun at Shorefield and Horrid Henry’s Lunchbox at the library, however as I have yet to perfect the art of being in two places at once I was already committed to the Church Hall Food Day, so resplendent in my shorts, I headed off bright and early to let everyone in.

As the various stalls set up, there was an air of anticipation as to what would happen when the doors opened at ten o’clock. There turned out to be no need for concern, as the hall immediately filled up as soon as we opened. The first point of call for the families was David Rogers pottery wheel, where the kids could ‘throw their own pot’. Little did he know that he was going to be welded to his chair without any sort of break until closing time! The visitors also made a beeline directly to the WI stall, where the girls had their home baked cakes & marmalade. Their stock lasted less than an hour in the constantly full hall. As people wandered around the stalls Jenny was explaining the concept of Raw Food For Health, Amanda had full audiences at her canapĂ© demonstrations and Claire had to find some more stock for her Spice N’ Easy stall as people just kept buying. By now I had only eaten a few canapĂ©s & some crackers with dips, so it must be time for lunch. The WI girls having anticipated they would sell out quickly, had volunteered to do tea & coffee for our visitors, & also to serve a lunch of potato & leek soup with French bread, and amazing chicken liver or smoked salmon pate, all homemade of course. We were all struggling to decide what to have, so I ensured that I did not choose the wrong one by ordering both courses. My mum, ladened with bags from the day was happily chatting to the friendly locals as I tucked into some cake for pudding.

Whilst all this was happening Nicola from Yum was holding her second Kids Cookery Course in the front meeting room, with her mum at hand she had them baking & decorating cakes. For the sake of research it was necessary for me to test the icing, & I can confirm that it was just as icing should be. As Nicola is pregnant, it was fortunate that she could have the evening off. Oh no she couldn’t, as she was also doing the cakes & tea for the Choirs interval tonight. Ah well, that’s life in cakes.

In the afternoon more new faces kept arriving & the hall remained full all day with over 500 estimated visitors. A number of the people had come straight from the Fish Filleting Demonstration & Lunch at Verveine, & they were full of praise for the experience. Our speakers for the afternoon kicked off with Richard Barnett, who gave a talk about the New Forest Transition Group. He explained how the world’s natural fuel resources were declining, & how everyone can help by shopping locally, buying local produce & growing a small amount of produce for themselves. I have to say I found the argument compelling, unlike the scepticism I have for global warming. Ironically, Richard’s statement would be happily accepted by many, & if taken up by the masses would solve the global warming issues at the same time. Perhaps the world’s governments are making the wrong argument. (Sorry, not sure what happened there, I seem to have got a bit unexpectedly political.) Later on I was chatting to my wife & mentioned my surprise that Richard had normal ears. ‘Why wouldn’t he?’ she asked, ‘well, I know that he is a vegan’ I made the mistake of replying. Her heel caught me square in the shin & I went down like a sack of potatoes. She then bent down, and growled in my ear ‘Vulcans, its Vulcans that have pointed ears’. As I got up, & trying not to limp, I calmly walked away muttering to those that could hear, ‘Anyone got a mop? Someone seems to have spilt a drink making the floor slippery’.

Our next speaker, Charles Dowding was just as interesting. Being a renowned author on growing vegetables, he explained how he had proved that better vegetables can be grown without digging. It was a process that takes a few seasons to implement but for the keen gardener it must have been music to their ears. As someone who is not a gardener I was a bit disappointed to find out that chocolate is not a vegetable & his method would not help me grow some.

In the evening The White Horse had their curry & bottle of wine offer, and the WineShak were holding wine tastings, but I was already back for duty at the Choir & Cake Night in the Church Hall. We had no idea how many people would arrive, but when we had all of the seats full & a queue still going out of the door I anticipated we may have a problem. I went to the front of the hall to ask if any of the seated audience would be happy to stand at the back to allow our older friends to use the chairs. Without exaggeration about half of the hall immediately stood & it was a warm moment to see such instant gallantry. After a bit of shuffling & squeezing, we had over 150 in the hall & lined up the hallway to watch the 40 strong Total Voice Choir come onto the stage. The village choir was only started in January by our local resident Christine Mulgrew, and we were soon to discover the great job she had done in preparing them for their first public performance. The choir burst into song, giving us all the amazing sound of voices in harmony. With each number their confidence grew & the end of each song was greeted with rapturous rounds of applause. More than a few of the audience had lumps in their throat during some songs. The night was a complete triumph & everyone returned home on a high.

Chance for an early night I thought, chance for a drink & a late night Mum, Gary & Joy thought. Guess who won.

Today’s weight: 19 stone 9 lbs | See the photo’s & stories from each day at:

Tuesday | Milford on Sea Food Week Diary

The early morning was dry & bright with a hint of a ‘blue moon’, so I started the day with a stroll on the beach with the ‘hound dog’ & ‘old Shep’. On my return I was surprised to find my wife making us bacon sandwiches in her dressing gown. Well, she was not actually making them in her dressing gown, she was making them in the frying pan. That’s ‘The wonder of you’ I exclaimed, & then went on to tell her how I had met ‘The girl of my best friend on the beach’, who had told me that she had received someone else’s post. She was worried that the letter may contain something nasty, but I just told her ‘Don’t have such a ‘suspicious mind’, just ‘return to sender’. My wife walked over, & I thought; ahh, she’s going to give me a ‘whole lotta love’, but instead she caught me just below the ear with her hot spatula. Ouch, ‘burning love’ I thought to myself. In a quietly aggressive tone she told me ‘Elvis is not until tonight & if I hear anymore of your stupid comments, this spatula will go up the trouser leg of your ridiculous shorts’. ‘Don’t be cruel’, I shouted as I quickly escaped into another room.

My ear still smarting I went for a chat with Keith Metcalf and discovered that about 50 people went on the Monday morning ‘Feed the Birds Walk’ around Sturt Pond & into the bird hide. The kids were thrilled to feed the birds with the bags of bird feed available. Unfortunately there was nothing to eat in the Parish Office other than bird seed, so I moved on to the Church Hall to see Nicola & the kids at the Cookery Class. Hands, elbows & chins in bowls of chocolate ensured a room full of happy faces. Giving them a quick hand by sampling some of the ingredients felt a good start to the days eating marathon.

At lunchtime it was time to visit the Britannia Thai to watch Sineenart demonstrate her skills in decorative vegetable carving. It was standing room only & the audience were enthralled by the various designs she created with simple flicks of the wrist. (& with a knife of course.) Pictures taken, I then moved on as vegetables are something I only eat when forced.

Around two o’clock my Mum arrived to stay for couple of days along with my old friends Gary & Joy. We wasted no time in heading for the ‘Taste of France’ event at Bon AppĂ©tit, but disaster!, they were full. Plan B was a trip to Inger-Lise’s where we enjoyed some Scandinavian open sandwiches & a hot chocolate. Next was a flying visit to Braxton Gardens to taste a glass of wine & some very fine cheeses. Mum being a fine cook didn’t object when the next stop was at The Gun Inn to visit ‘Morwenna’s Bakery’, it was worth the visit as we sampled a number of her delicious cakes & nice cup of tea in the garden. As I was on my way back for a third cake, I was swiftly tripped & my arm was forced up my back in a split second. My wife tenderly told me that it might not be a good idea to have another one. Being a big & strong man, I said ‘I will if I want to’, luckily she didn’t hear me, so I just agreed with her. It was now time to return to the Church Hall where Judith from New Forest Marque was in full flow with her ‘Quick & Easy’ cookery demonstration. Fortunately the food samples from the demonstration were just going around, so I sat down & tucked in. A selection of savoury treats, was followed by Eton Mess. Having eaten a little bit more than usual today I was finding it difficult to eat it all, but in the name of Food Week I carried on.

In the evening we returned to the village, where we were soon in Zaika ready for Indian Elvis, Gary & I of course started with some Indian beer & the ladies with some white wine. No sooner had we ordered our meals, Elvis arrived under a fanfare. Well, he didn’t actually, it was Roy Orbison who arrived, explaining that Indian Elvis was on his way, but had been delayed in New Delhi airport. The first half of the show was great fun, with ‘Roy’ blasting out old classics. Following our meal the speakers blared once again as we heard Elvis was now in the building. He appeared in a white rhinestone studded suit & within moments had the restaurant rocking and singing along with napkins waving, - it was all happening & even the waiters were spotted dancing to? the tables. When the show was over, Elvis was forced back by the audience to do a couple more numbers & he was obviously enjoying it as much as us. What a great night, hearing Elvis singing Bhangra was great fun, I doubt Milford on Sea has seen anything quite like this before!

On the way home we had a quick pint in The Smugglers, (did not eat any food this time, as I’m watching my weight), then a quick stop at Piccolo Mondo to see how the Italian Opera evening was going, & it was great to see the restaurant full of smiling faces. When we eventually got home we all sat talking until the early hours, & Gary kept refilling my bottomless glass despite my weak protests. I am sure I will pay for this later in the week.

Today’s weight: 19 stone 7 lbs | See the photo’s & stories from each day at:
www.milfordonseafoodweek.org/2010-diary